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Literature Text
If you blink
'Twill not be gone.
You let it sink
For way too long.
In the glare of today's sun
All is too light,
Light enough to be brushed
Off like snowflakes
From a dainty overcoat.
But these snowflakes don't brush off.
Oh no, 'tis not that easy;
They merely melt into the stitching
Discretely
Unobtrusively
Melt, seep, sink,
And manifest – all those snowflakes –
Like maggots in a coffin!
'Til they drench you.
Consume you.
Drown you.
To die of a mere snowflake?! you scoff, you sneer.
Indeed, 'tis but a mere snowflake
You wished would disappear,
But you let it seep into the seams
Of your stately coat.
Now do you feel,
The constricting in your throat?
'Twill not be gone.
You let it sink
For way too long.
In the glare of today's sun
All is too light,
Light enough to be brushed
Off like snowflakes
From a dainty overcoat.
But these snowflakes don't brush off.
Oh no, 'tis not that easy;
They merely melt into the stitching
Discretely
Unobtrusively
Melt, seep, sink,
And manifest – all those snowflakes –
Like maggots in a coffin!
'Til they drench you.
Consume you.
Drown you.
To die of a mere snowflake?! you scoff, you sneer.
Indeed, 'tis but a mere snowflake
You wished would disappear,
But you let it seep into the seams
Of your stately coat.
Now do you feel,
The constricting in your throat?
Kinda like hiding your troubles beneath the carpet. Unfortunately many of us are guilty of it, and then we pay dearly... decieving yourself is probably amongst the worst kind of deceptions.
***
Is the essence of it, the "message", conveyed clearly? How about the structure? Any other comments are more than welcome
**
preview from ~sindarelf
original: [link]
Hope you enjoy it!
edit: changed title. I think this one fits better
All of my items are © ~6Sanuye9 [link] Do not use, redistribute/post them anywhere under any circumstance - unless my written permission has been given.
***
Is the essence of it, the "message", conveyed clearly? How about the structure? Any other comments are more than welcome
**
preview from ~sindarelf
original: [link]
Hope you enjoy it!
edit: changed title. I think this one fits better
All of my items are © ~6Sanuye9 [link] Do not use, redistribute/post them anywhere under any circumstance - unless my written permission has been given.
Comments17
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oh yea, by the way, i just read it again, and though it is still spiffy, "seems" should be seams if you're talking about a coat :]