Standards - Chapter one

Standards
Chapter one: Requirements

Perfection. That's all I was trying to achieve, I never wanted to hurt him. I was just trying to shield him from the truth. All of this was just to protect him; he never knew how much I was actually defending him.
Him, the poor weak man who I had spent the last seven or so months lying to-no, caring to his lack thereof emotional threshold. Did he ever know how many times I had to run to the bathroom to what he thought was to puke my guts out from sterotypical morning sickness just to cry my eyes out. The guilt was physically and emotionally taking its toll on me before he even caught whiff of my great scheme.
That Quinn girl…she promised me, swore that she was going to help me. I was desperate and we would both gain from it. Her baby would be healthy and have two loving adult parents around it. Not those two emotionally challenged football jug-heads that she decided cheat on. She screwed me over, kept on going back on her word and then coming back like I would forgive her.
If I had been just a bit more confident, a bit surer…maybe I could have said no like she deserved. Life doesn't let you fumble around until you've made your surefire decision. I couldn't back out even if I had wanted to, and believe me there were moments I would have taken that option.
However, contradicting what I just said, I could have never told him. I was going to, but he looked so hopeful…so happy…happier than I had seen him since we first met in high school, I just couldn't crush those hopes he had.
If I had only knew then that he had a little redhead woman on the side, probably pushing him farther away from me and closer to her, I tried so hard to break them up, but she had casted her spell on him long after I noticed the change.
The stride in step was so confident, the way he spoke was not him, it was her controlling, and manipulating every action he did. He wasn't the man I married, not even damn close to it by the time I tried to ring him back in.
My attempts were in vain, he couldn't listen to reason even if it had been smacked in his face after she told him things. I don't know the exact words, but they were probably similar to 'she shouldn't be able to talk you like that' Oh like you know how to talk to a man you doe eyed family wrecker? 'How do you let her treat you like that?' For your information I treat my husband fine, you just twist the situation to pleasure yourself.
I hate her, I hate her, and I hate her! She ruined my happiness, if she wasn't whispering words into his ear he wouldn't have gotten suspicious and maybe I could have gotten Quinn's baby and pulled off the classic all American family without any suspicion. However, she just had to twist my husband into a man he is not.
"Terri, are you okay?" Howard asks, shooting me a sympathetic look. Howard is such a nice man, the only one who actually listens to my side of the story without judging me; everyone else thinks that I'm crazy. Well, except Kendra, but she was the one who gave me this great idea so I don't suppose she counts.
I put some dish soap on a store rack absentmindedly. "Yes Howard, but I would like if I got promoted to manager like I deserve." I say, skirting the issue he actually wants to talk to me about. Lately work has been my only release during the day, after I go back to Kendra's home and lock myself in my room. Thinking about what he could be doing, what she's tricking him to do.
Every day blends into another, what's the point of living if you have nothing left? I lost my husband, lost his trust, and lost our life together. That's all I wanted all those years, I could have had anyone in high school. I was popular and smart. Guys were just lining up to me just to stare at my cheerleading outfit, but I chose him. Doesn't he figure that the girl who risked her standards and popularity to be with him loves him more than the one who was desperate enough to be with anyone?
Howard doesn't say anything as we continue to put stock in the store. Silently I work, trying to get my mind off him. It's not going to do me any good to keep on thinking of the past, I can't change what happened. All I can do is continue with my life and hope that someday I can heal the spots of my heart he burned.
"Excuse me ma'am! I would like my total please." A rude brunette lady with her husband and two children says, her eyes glaring at me as though I should worship the idea that the customer is always right. I resist the urge to smack her head against the register and smile sweetly back.
"Why of course, it's $34.13" I say in a sickly sweet tone, the kind that screams how much of a witch I can actually be when I try. However, I don't bite unless I'm provoked, I wouldn't have threatened that doe eyed harlot unless she tried to take him from me, which she did.
She looks to her husband. "Honey, your card please." And he passes her his card, I feel a twinge of envy deep inside me, she has the life I wanted for us. Why does she have what I don't? I'm not a bad person, I know I'm not, so why does karma constantly try to throw me around and make my life awful?
"Swipe here, please." I gesture to the debit machine, my voice infested with venom that I can't control. My jealousy is too passionate; my anger to the world is too violent to hold back. I used to be able to. That isn't a time I can go back to.
She smirks and swipes the card, pressing her code in and getting the said items she bought. She grabs her bags and begins walking out of the store, I manage to stiff out a "have a nice day!" In a pretend sweet voice, something that I could fake so easily before but now takes so much effort.
I look at my wristwatch, sighing with relief when I realize that I'm off in two minutes which is close enough for me to say that I have to go without getting docked off. I make my way to the backroom and grab my keys and purse, making my way to the old clunker in the back otherwise known as my car.
Sure I love my luxuries as much as the next woman, but it's not like I can afford anything other than this slow moving piece of crap at the moment, but I did add a pink pair of dice near the rearview mirror and seat coverings of the same colour to make it look a bit better. That doesn't change the fact that the red colouring on it is beginning to scrape off the sides and there is a nasty gash on the door where some a-hole decided to park a little too close to it and dent it.
I scramble around in my purse for my pocket powder mirror; I open it up to see the damage on my face. Groaning with tiredness I look at the dark circles under my eyes and the dryness of my lips that I desperately cover with a lipgloss that only seems to make the cracks on the skin worse. I never used to look this dried out, this weak, before I used to look like I had life in me, but now it looks like it's draining out bit by bit.
Slamming the mirror shut I shove the key into the ignition and pull out of the parking lot, making my way to Kendra's home.
My phone rings just as I make my way to the driveway, my face brightens when I see the caller ID. It's him.
Maybe he'll take me back, maybe he realised how bad that redheaded witch actually is and realised that he needed his caring, loving wife back who would do anything for him. Maybe that's it-no, it has to be it. Then we'll be happy, we'll be the perfect all American family again.
"Hello?" I ask, trying to make my voice obilvious, like I don't know who's on the other end. If I wasn't so good at hiding things I probably would have screamed in excitement and hurt his ears, but I'm not that mean.
"Terri, it's me, Will." He says back. Yes, yes, of course I know it's you. His voice is tired to; he must have been fighting with her the poor thing.
I can barely contain my excitement, my happiness of just hearing his voice on the other end, knowing that I'm the one he's directing every word at. "How are you doing?" I ask, finally just giving in to the happiness in my voice.
"Um, fine. Have you checked your mail today?" He asks, clearly confused because that little doe eyed harlot has his emotions in a wreck. Why is he asking me if I checked my mail? Did he send me a letter asking for me back? Oh how romantic!
"Oh, no I haven't! I'm in the driveway at Kendra's right now though, do you want me to?" I ask cheerily, oh he wants me back!
"Yeah, I thought you already got them…" He says as I get out of the car with my purse and go over to the mail box, expecting a hand written letter with perhaps a poem romantically expressing his love for me.
When I get to it though, I get something much different.
"What is this?" I ask him, looking at the words Divorce notice with a confused expression on my face, the happiness fading from my voice and leaving me with a much more perplexed one in its place.
"A divorce notice, Terri, I think its better that we go our separate ways." He says, though the words don't make their way to my brain as easily.
"You're with her! You're with that witch, aren't you! She's tricking you; lying to you I know it! Believe me!" I'm screaming at this point, something flipped on inside of me. This was not happening; I was not losing him again!
"Terri, Emma has nothing to do with our problems." He tries to calmly explain to me, like I'm supposed to be another one of his retarded drug addict students. I will not be talked to like I'm some fifteen year old.
"She did something to you! I want you back! Don't leave me, please!" I beg to him, feeling hot tears fall down my cheeks and onto my face.
"I'm sorry, but I can't look past this. I'm sure you'll find someone right for you." He attempts to coax me, but it isn't going to work.
"No, Will plea-"the line goes dead and I'm left with a divorce notice and the pain of losing him all over again.
It can't be over, it just can't.

~

Some people would call me crazy for faking a pregnancy. Others would call me crazy for thinking that I'd get me husband back after faking said pregnancy. However, if you loved someone as much as I did, you'd be willing to do anything for them until you become a hollowed version of yourself. He doesn't realize how much I went through just to keep him happy, you might think it was wrong but it truly isn't.
I manage to make it into Kendra's guestroom without being noticed, running a hand through my hair I close the door and begin crying in hysterics, leaning my body to the cold wall as I sit on the bed.
I'm such an idiot. He's been under her spell for months; he wouldn't fall out of it so soon. Does he really think she cares for him, would be willing to take a bullet and defend him to the bloody end? I know she wouldn't, in fact I know she would get queasy at the sight of blood and faint while he dies.
If he only knew what a devil she was, (I mean, red is the color of the devil) then I could take the heartbreak he has and bring it back into something beautiful. Then we could start over, we could be happy again. I know he could if he just woke up from this illusion, this daydream that never ends.
That's when I have an idea. If I can't convince him with words, then maybe I should show him what freak he has decided to fall in lust with. Yes, he needs that extra push. Will was never good with realizing things or paying attention at all for that matter. Sometimes when I told him to get a carton of milk from the store he came back with a pack of gum and a confused expression when I ask him where said milk is.
Feeling the hot tears drip off my face like sweat and wiping my eyeliner from the mess that my face has become I reach into my purse, slipping my hand in between tubes of lipstick, gum wrappers, and the odd coins that managed to slip out of my wallet until I make it to my cell phone. Feeling a ping in my heart where he used to be that is infested in pain I open it with a shaky breath.
There is someone I need to call. She was so understanding and kind to me. Sure she was blunt but at least she understood a home wrecker when she saw one, plus it's not like she was trying to take my husband, actually I was sure she wasn't. Dialing the number I hold my breath as the phone rings, hoping that she will answer to my call, and prepared to take the voicemail if it comes.
"If this is about my choice not to have a green card anymore I've already told you Nazis that people should know my face!" She says on the other line, I grin as I hear the harsh tones in her voice. That underlining confidence to every breath she takes, I think that's the thing I'm most jealous of.
"Sue Sylvester? It's me…Terri." I say quietly on the other end. She waits a moment, probably scanning her mind to see where my name rings a bell to.
"The fat girl who Will Schuester and his garbage infested hair dumped?" She asks, I blink back the tears for a second and know she's just joking.
"Pregnant-well…was pregnant. Anyways I was wondering if you would like to collaborate on a project to get that redheaded witch out of my husband's life." I ask, already feeling intimidated by her voice as she responds.
"I know who you're talking about; I'm guessing my plan to get her married didn't work well at all." Sue says in a monotone, I can hear her drumming her fingers against the wood of her desk on the other line purposely loud. I can't bore her, not when she's the best schemer I have ever seen.
Gulping in pain of the memories where I tried to break them up and it backfired horribly in my face I continue. "Yeah, it didn't turn out as well as I planned. However, I do have one cooked up of my own if you want to hear it." I then hold my breath, hoping that I've won her over to my side.
There's a moment of silence, a tension in the air that I can sense fully before she finally decides to respond.
"Well, Cinderella, why not tell me it?"

~Chapter end

A/N: Hey you guys! Shecka here and this is my first Glee multi-chaptered fan-fiction so I hope you enjoy it!
As you can see this is a Terri POV fiction and it will be dealing with her mental issues and if it goes right it will become very interesting. I haven't really read many Terri fan-fictions where she is the main character but in the ones I have read in different series Terri never gets redemption which is understandable (I mean, she did fake a pregnancy) so I wanted to show what was going through her mind. Please review and I hope to get the new chapter out soon, I have a very vague idea of how the story is going to go but I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I do have two things promised.
1: A Terri song number. However, it won't be normal Glee type of singing and stuff; it'll be a bit…dark. I'll give you guys a hint every chapter (hopefully) before it comes up so you guys can guess.
2:  More Sue, I always thought her and Terri were such a great team, so why not explore that a bit more?
Anyway, I'll leave you to chew on that.
~Shecka