Black Snow Falls

Title: Black Snow Falls

Fanfiction Of: D. Gray Man: Show Me How To Live (My sis's Request)

Chapter: Unknown

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In the cold harsh snow storm, Gentle slowly and limply with all her injuries hidden under long, coal black coat. The cold was getting to her, it was making Gentle Sakura having a hard time to breath; even walking was difficult. But still, the melanholic Gentle kept on walking forward on the now deserted path road, not knowing where she should go, never caring if she would survived such a weather. That never matter to Gentle Lakeford Sakura. She wanted to get lost forever...
She wished for death because to her...

Living with a torn, broken heart was already painful enough, like living in hell...

Didn't know whether there was a rock or just a pile under her foot, she could only guess but all she knew that it made lose her footing and fall. "Ugh!" Gentle at the pain of her injuries. She sat up but never stood up, she lowered her head as if she looking at the snowy ground or her hands for quite a while. Suddenly, she coughed harshly until red blood tainted on the pure white snow. She panted heavily as she wiped the blood away with tears welling up in her sad, emerald  green eyes. "It hurts..." She whispered. Yes, the cold was hazardous to her health but that wasn't why it hurts. "I can't. I can't say I'm lonely. I already ran away from the Black Order. I ran away from my friends there. I can't turn back, not when I'm this far. So I...I can't say...Can't say...Lonely...I can't regret this...." she whispered to herself, lowering her head even low till her bangs covered her eyes. "But...". She clutched the snow in her hand. Then the cold, snowy storm blewat Gentle, making her hold herself for warmth as she looked up at the snow. "There's no place for me to go or at least that I know of. But, I'm only afraid to live but I'm not afraid to die...Because you are there with my parents, Anata-Kun..." She told herself, her eyes looked tired and yet so calm. That's right, Anata Kyuusho Shimei. The person whom loved her, the person that smiled with gentle eyes. Somebody that never left her alone even in the dark when she was still a child. Somebody she was searching for all her life that became an Exorcist when she turned 13. Isn't that why her reason to join the Black Order was? Isn't that why she was living to now? But Anata-kun had died due to being killed by Tyki Myikk's Tease. Now there was nothing for her to love for anyway. "No regrets, right Anata-kun?" she asked herself, looking up at Heaven where Anata-kun is watching.

Suddenly, images of her friends in the Black Order ran through her mind. From the Finders to Supervisor Komui to other Exorcists to Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, Lavi and...

The tears threatening to fall had finally fell down her face. "NO...Please...Don't...Don't let me remember him..." Gentle told herself, the tears flow even more as images of her and the pony-tailed, sharp tongue samurai Yuu Kanda came flashed into her head. "NO!! PLEASE DON'T LET ME REMEMBER YUU-KUN!!! I don't love him!!!" she yelled loudly but her voice was cracking that it became low as she put her hands to her as if it would stop the memories from overflowing. "I don't...I don't love Yuu Kanda. I can't love him. He doesn't even care if I'm alive anyway..." So why...why does it hurt now..? Why does it hurt to regret this decision NOW? Did she not want to die anymore to see Anata-kun? She didn't love him, did she? Did she? No, she did love Yuu Kanda. But what kind of love was it? Love for friends? Or is it...?

"The one...the one I love is Anata-kun...It's Anata-kun! It's ANATA-KUN!!!" Gentle screamed from the top of her lungs. "But why? It's painful... Yuu-Kun..." she called Yuu Kanda's first name before she fell to the ground, snow falling on her body, covering her body in the snow that was starting to pile up on her. In the cold, she became as silent as night as tears continue to flow down her sweet, pale face. Oh, god.

Tired, so tired. Tired from this pain in my weak heart Why is it that when I cries, my body just shuts down from the pain. Mental pain always keep hurting me, why can't I ever feel physical ones instead? It's not as painful as what this mental is making me do. It's hurt so much, it drives me insane, despair...and confused...

Oh, God. Is this the punishment you've given me after what I did?


Will I be feeling this pain again and again?


Oh, God. Is it a pain that last for eternity or is it until I die?

How can I heal this pain?

There's no way to run away from it, is there, God?

But little did Gentle knew or hear from her unconcious and heart broken, confused state, footsteps were made on the crunching snow as a man with forest brown hair came towards, he looked at her then carried her through the snow covered streets and was gone...