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Description
Hello investors, Cave Johnson here.
Introducing the 1980s consumer version of our most popular fire-starting product: The Aperture Science Hand-held Combustible Lemon Launcher. Due to a large demand and re-surfacing of old stock, this old Aperture favorite is now available to you. This hand-held, break-action launcher of combustible lemons is sure to light up anyone's day - just not as effectively... Seriously though, I don't know why you people keep asking for an inferior model. Anyway, load a lemon in the compartment, squeeze the trigger, and watch as the ignition system sets it ablaze as it hurtles toward your enemy. Not quite as inspiring stuff. Don't have any spare matches? It can light grills too (Warning: extreme risk of melting; do not attempt unless grill is made out of tungsten). The Combustible Lemon Launcher comes complete with a handle (of course), a fore-grip, one of two kinds of colored (but faded) LEDs- for your viewing pleasure, and a three-lemon starter pack (Disclaimer: The launcher no longer comes with lemons due to excessive amounts of mold), so just make those checks out to cash, send that to us, and we'll throw it at your doorstep.
Cave Johnson- we're done here.
This is the 1980s model.
Here is the modern version: [link]
Introducing the 1980s consumer version of our most popular fire-starting product: The Aperture Science Hand-held Combustible Lemon Launcher. Due to a large demand and re-surfacing of old stock, this old Aperture favorite is now available to you. This hand-held, break-action launcher of combustible lemons is sure to light up anyone's day - just not as effectively... Seriously though, I don't know why you people keep asking for an inferior model. Anyway, load a lemon in the compartment, squeeze the trigger, and watch as the ignition system sets it ablaze as it hurtles toward your enemy. Not quite as inspiring stuff. Don't have any spare matches? It can light grills too (Warning: extreme risk of melting; do not attempt unless grill is made out of tungsten). The Combustible Lemon Launcher comes complete with a handle (of course), a fore-grip, one of two kinds of colored (but faded) LEDs- for your viewing pleasure, and a three-lemon starter pack (Disclaimer: The launcher no longer comes with lemons due to excessive amounts of mold), so just make those checks out to cash, send that to us, and we'll throw it at your doorstep.
Cave Johnson- we're done here.
This is the 1980s model.
Here is the modern version: [link]
Image size
1440x1350px 2.38 MB
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Comments35
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Very nice!