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Literature Text
Candle
Nary a soul may ever see,
may ever acknowledge
its weak, wavering flame
and hesitant heat.
Try as it may
to radiate vitality
against deathly cold,
abysmal darkness,
it remains an epitome
of hopeless passion,
easily snuffed out
by the merciless mist
after time abandons it.
Bound eternally to its pillar,
its years are set within it.
As it continues,
it scalds itself,
burning,
vanishing.
But such is its fate;
to age without volition,
to destroy itself until the end.
Nary a soul may ever see,
may ever acknowledge
its weak, wavering flame
and hesitant heat.
Try as it may
to radiate vitality
against deathly cold,
abysmal darkness,
it remains an epitome
of hopeless passion,
easily snuffed out
by the merciless mist
after time abandons it.
Bound eternally to its pillar,
its years are set within it.
As it continues,
it scalds itself,
burning,
vanishing.
But such is its fate;
to age without volition,
to destroy itself until the end.
poem i wrote sometime during school as writing practice...we didn't do any poetry this year D: i think i'm better at writing than the visual arts...but i can't write CONCISE prose D: so all i have is poetry :/
that said, enjoy it if you can.
just a few questions I have are:
1. Are the multiple metaphors tasteful? (sometimes too many tend to take away from the piece and get repetitive...)
2. Do the line breaks make sense, or should they be longer or shorter in some places? (just for the flow of words)
that said, enjoy it if you can.
just a few questions I have are:
1. Are the multiple metaphors tasteful? (sometimes too many tend to take away from the piece and get repetitive...)
2. Do the line breaks make sense, or should they be longer or shorter in some places? (just for the flow of words)
© 2011 - 2024 firepianosushi
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