Broken Wings

Title: Waiting for the Reapers - Chapter 2: Broken Wings
Author: xRebel666x
Game: Mass Effect
Characters/Pairing: Commander Reblicah Shepard (femShep) and Garrus Vakarian


Waiting for the Reapers - Chapter 2 - Broken Wings


  The madness resulting from the disappearance of his bondmate had calmed down. It seemed things were finally returning back to normal on the Normandy. Well… as normal as it could be. Everyone on the ship clearly wanted to discuss the events that transpired from the destruction of the Alpha Relay but the Commander remained silent. The only words she would mutter were, "Any day now."

  Isolated to her quarters, Reblicah was slowly becoming a stranger to her crew. She rejected any intrusion from visitors and refused to answer the messages beaconing at her desk. Her ghostly figure dwelled within her confines, allowing the events from the Bahak System to consume her. The light in her eyes, the glow from her smile, the flame burning within her heart… all faded away, being extinguished by her burdens.

  Garrus was growing accustomed to the quiet nights he shared with Shepard. No matter how desolated his companion was, it was still their time together. He took every moment as an opportunity to strengthen their bond. In addition, he felt it was his duty to take on the daily challenge of brightening her dim outlook. Even with the verge of war waiting to begin at any moment and Reby's nightmares becoming more and more persistent, he would do anything just to see her smile. Tonight was no different.

  As he walked out of Shepard's shower, Garrus wrapped the towel around his waist and smirked at the muffled image in the mirror. He could already notice a difference with his cast gone. With one swipe of his hand, he cleared the condensation to reveal his freshly exposed scar. It was his first time seeing the damage left behind from the gunship on Omega. The mark certainly was noticeable and felt rough to the touch, much different from the familiar texture from the gauze. Even though it would take time to become acquainted with his new look, he knew Shepard would immediately accept it.

  The thought of seeing her reaction quickened Garrus's pace. He finished drying himself, brushing off the remaining bits of water and draping the towel back onto the rack. He pulled on his sleep pants, took one last look at the reflection in the mirror, and then made his way out of the bathroom.

  When the Gunnery Chief strutted into the room, he could immediately tell something was wrong. The faint image of Shepard sitting on the edge of the bed could be seen through her collection of ships. He advanced around the panel, waiting to see if she would look up at the freshly-bathed turian… but her gaze remained fixated to the panel beneath her feet. Something was clearly upsetting her and she was finding solace in the bottom of the bottle. Cringing with every sip of her alcoholic poison, she was determined to suppress the emotions building within.

  "I wasn't in the shower THAT long," he joked, attempting to lighten the air. Her deep brown eyes glared at him, slowly blinking them shut as she turned her head away. She hunched over her knees, dangling the lip of the bottle by her fingertips. Garrus walked over to his distraught partner and asked, "What's wrong, Reby?"

  "Don't worry about it, I'll get over it."

  "Clearly," while prying the bottle away from her hand, he received some resistance. He sat down next to her but she didn't budge. "Did you have a bad dream last night?"

  "No," she slightly shook her head.

  "Was it something I did or said?"

  "No."

  "What is it?"

  She didn't answer.

  "I won't stop until you tell me," he gave her a nudge with his shoulder. She clenched her eyes and cupped her face into her hands, sobbing violently. Garrus rubbed her back trying to comfort his partner but his touch went unnoticed. She stood up, snatching the bottle away, and stepped towards the fish tank.

  "I was fine… was. Then the memories of the day I died came rushing back in… it always finds a way to. I tried to drown it away, the more I drank the more I forgot. But then the visions came back… I can never cover the pain… all the pain… fighting to protect the people I love… fighting to live and… and then nothing…"

  Her pupils widened as the images of her death spiraled back into her memory. The feel of her fingers clawing at her suit, the lack of oxygen burning her lungs, every solid detail plagued her mind. Then hearing each gasp echo… seeing the images becoming blurry… and the pound of her final heart beat. She shuddered, swigging another mouthful of her liquor. As her consciousness returned from the eidetic memory, she concentrated on the school of Thessian Sunfish swimming around the pale blue water. She scoffed at them and carefully stumbled to the side of her bed.

  "Absolutely nothing," she muttered, placing the bottle on her nightstand, "the only thing that happened was the pain stopped… everything stopped… And now that I have this second chance, I want to live but I'm forced to relive my final moments like some broken record." She ran both hands through her hair then dug her fingers into her scalp, screaming. When she pulled them away, she noticed a few strands dangling in her palm and stared deeply at them. "Is this my punishment for the lives I've taken?"

  "What about the lives you saved?"

  "Is it worth it? I'll just die again. It was traumatizing the first time and I know it'll be worse the next time, the last time… because I know exactly what to expect… nothing," she sighed, sitting back on the bed. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, clasping them tightly against her body.

  "Why don't you live for what you'd die for?"

  "I wish it were that simple. Everything used to be easier. And just when I think I am in the clear, someone like Dr Kenson pulls me back into the abyss. Sedating me," she cringed, "I might as well have been dead."

  "She was indoctrinated. Don't let her get to you," Garrus suggested, scooting next to Shepard and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

  "The damage is done… more scars to add to my profile," she mumbled, resting her chin on top of her knees. "I feel like my wings have been ripped out and the only thing keeping me from falling," she tilted her head and looked straight into his blue eyes, "is you." Her shattered gaze reflecting the damages no person could repair, piercing straight through the strings of his heart. "If I lose you, I'll have nothing left…"

  "You won't lose me."

  "You can't promise me that!"

  "But I'm here for you Shepard."

  "You're here for me while I'm alive. But as long as I live, I will die. It's inevitable and it's plaguing everything I think about. I wish I could live forever instead of…" she was interrupted by Garrus's talon upon her lips.

  He pulled her tightly against his chest and rested his chin atop her head. Breathing in the defining scent of his bondmate, he nuzzled against her golden brown hair. "Reby, stop thinking about your death and concentrate on what you have while you are alive. Take grasp of this second chance! I'll be here with you every step of the way. We will grow old together, have a full life together, and be together until the end. I promise."

  "But I don't even know if we'll make it past this war."

  "We will."

  "How do you know? You can't see into the future."

  "No, but I have faith in our ability to survive. Even if every planet burns to pieces, we will stand together and watch as the empires fall. The whole galaxy can be lost but I will be complete as long as I have you."

  "But I'm a mess!" she cried out, balling her hand into a fist and pounding it against Garrus's chest.

  He squeezed her tighter, "You're MY mess!"

  "Why me?"

  "You saved my life, let me save yours… Reby, let me mend your broken wings so you can keep flying." He closed his eyes and listened to her soft sobbing. The world expected so much from her but they failed to realize… she's only human. She was broken, falling apart in his grip, nothing but skin and bones yet she was the only person who had a chance on ending this war.

  Placing his hand against her jaw, he guided their foreheads together. She welcomed his warm embrace and immediately began nuzzling her nose against his. Without breaking their bond, she unbound her arms from her knees and wrapped them around Garrus's neck. Her legs gracefully straddled him before sitting on his lap.

  Shepard heaved her chest against his, exhaling deeply and expanding her bosom to grind his collar. Her warm breath tickled against his mouth the more she closed the distance between their lips. As she pursed a kiss on him, her hands left his neck and were placed on the side of his face. She paused the moment she detected something different under her fingertips.

  "Your cast is gone," she whispered. Her hands skimming across the grooves of the scar, memorizing the damage left behind from the burn. "When did you take it off?"

  "About an hour ago. Hopefully my appearance isn't too revolting."

  "Just throw some face paint on there…"

  "Hey!"

  "I'm kidding, Garrus. In fact, your scars make me feel more comfortable about mine."

  "So you do have a thing for men with scars," he chuckled, remembering their first encounter on the SR-2 after she recruited him.   

  "In more than one way, Vakarian." The side of her mouth curled as she gave him a mischievous smile. And with it, bringing back her glowing presence.

  Mission Accomplished, Garrus.