TtR:Chapter 6 BurntWienerTM

Timmy the Reaper
                 Created by Tyler Gates

Warning: This written series is overly ridiculous and may cause some readers to go "wtf". Oh, it also has some nasty themes and gore n' stuff too.

"BurntWienerTM"
(o.o) Due to scheduling difficulties - what with Timmy occupied and all with killing things - the Reaper couldn't make an appearance in this chapter, and so I leave you with the next best thing…

      The old scruffy farmer, with his hay hat and ryegrass in mouth, rocks on his chair at the front porch of his home, situated in the middle of nowhere, just south of That Place, next to Whoop-Whoop. He starts to flick the strings of his banjo, playing a slow melody that would make all incest-rednecks cry with emotion after their daily meal of human flesh. Tumbleweeds who have been married for years dance to the tune in delight and soon it turns into a great party with dancing cows and bitten-into pigs. However, the great evening is thrown-off just a tad when a giant, flying alien saucer (carefully camouflaged as a elephant) appears in the sky, and fires an abduction beam down on the farmer, pulling him up into the craft for much delightful rectum probing [(o.o) Rectum? Damn-near killed him ]...
-----Meanwhile at the centre of Some City, within BurntWienerTM------
[(o.o) I did give a reference to BurntWienerTM earlier in Chapter 4, you thought I was BSing didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!?]
      "Welcome to BurntWienerTM, how may I take you order sir?" Says a tall, incredibly slim and pale worker in an orange uniform with a cap saying "I like wiener" on it, and a badge with, "Hello my name is: George". Across from George over the counter stands a pondering Agent RYE accompanied by Shroom.
     "Hmmm, mmm, hmmmmmm, mmhmmmmmmmm,mmmmmmm,hhhmmmmmm, I'll take the...no...hmmmm, mmmmmmmm, uuhhhhhhhhh, hmmmmmm, I'll take a giant wiener thank you." [(o.o) *giggles*] RYE then goes to sit down while George relays the order. [(o.o) At this stage in time you're probably a lil' confused about who is the main focus of this chapter; well that's quite alright, because I am too XP]
      RYE sits down with Shroom at a table next to another table occupied by an obese couple and a donkey named Larry. The agent notices Shroom replying to a text message, "My God Shroom! What the hell!? That's the twenty-billionth-and-one message you've gotten in the last 20-hellin'-seconds! Who the hell would be texting a useless, pathetic piece of maggot meat like you anyway!?" [(o.o) RYE's Hell count: 8...warning, it's about to go up to 10 by the end of this chapter]
     Shroom looks up at his superior with a anxious expression, "Uhhhh, it's ummm, my uhhhh, ...girlfriend..." The table they're sitting at is suddenly flung through a wall of the restaurant, hitting a pedestrian.
     "WHAT!? THAT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT! A HOMO CAN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! THAT'S LIKE, LIKE A MEXICAN HAVING A LEGAL PASSPORT! IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN!!!" RYE then snatches the phone out of Shroom's hand, glancing at the message sender, "Jacqueline? The hell!? What kind of name is that for a person!? That's something pathetic people call their cats!" The phone is then ditched through the air, impacting into a little girl's head as she eats her wiener, knocking her brains out.
      The tall, pale George approaches back to the counter with RYE's order, "One giant wiener here." RYE and Shroom step back over to the counter, with the Head-Agent taking the order, "Hell Shroom, pay the ridiculously scrawny young-man already!" RYE walks off with the wiener, leaving Shroom to pay the $130.50.3.
     As both agents walk out, George looks at the clock, thinking it's time for his smoke-o break. [(o.o) Oh and by the way, don't worry about that little girl, she was an alien, and that wall was a total arsehole.] George steps out into the back alleyway behind the restaurant, lighting a cigarette as he thinks about his life. The only one that ever seemed to understand him was his friend Reece, but he had committed suicide last week over his ex. George had thought a lot about suicide, and cheesecake, but more so about suicide, and he wondered where his life was meant to lead him, where he was going. Shit! He had forgotten to call April back! George's girlfriend didn't understand him at all, but hey, she was a good distraction, and the sexin' time was sweet.
      George pulls out his phone, stomping on his cigarette while he dials her number. No answer, he gets the voice message. As the tone beeps, George hears slurping sounds at his feet.
      He glances down, "What the? What do you want?" Timmy the Reaper slurps on his grinded-wiener slushy, peering with a blank expression while he pulls Scythe out of his robes. [(o.o) I know, I said Timmy wouldn't make an appearance, but hey, shit does tend to happen.]
----- Several more slurps and blood-curdling screams later -------
     Timmy finishes his slushy while looking at the mashed and bloody shreds of flesh that are now George. The bloody-Scythe quivers with satisfaction, but soon notices someone at the end of the alley, "YAY~! It's that guy who knows we exist~! We're soooooo screeeewed~"
     Agent Shroom glances at them with traumatised eyes, having decided to come back after he had forgotten to get his embedded phone out of the little girl's skull. The agent quickly runs out of sight, leaving Scythe to comment with a mockingly uncaring tone, "Hehe..ehe…we're so busted~"
     Seeing his troubles multiply, all Timmy can do is sigh.

To Be Disembodied...

~Timmy the Reaper is my name, possessing a scythe that fucks your brain ~
                                              13 – 4 - 1994
       This chapter is dedicated to 17 years of total mayhem and slaughter