“A male news reporter appeared on screen” … some of what this guy says feels too casual or out of rhythm for a news report, to show you what I mean here's how I would write it, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am John Gibson. Breaking news this evening; while investigating the fourth planet of the Vega System the WRS Washington made contact with the hostiles that attacked other WRS ships recently. The hostiles surrounded the Washington. There were no survivors. Brian Mills has more on the story.”

“Alice dropped one of her dumbbells. 'Those bastards attacked us again?!'” … ha, that is such an Alice moment

“you had the WRS [Washington upload the data feed from] the hostiles while they [communicated with] them” … also, why is the government sharing that bit of information? A love of government transparency?

“humanity is on the 'Termination List'” … that's not scary, it's actually kind of, I dunno, silly? I can imagine viewers of this news report laughing at this weird bunch of aliens who call themselves Helbots and have a Termination List, it feels mustache-twirling evil if you know what I mean

“The Helbots won't stop until they got what they wanted. 'They cannot reach Alexander'” … Alice saw the Helbots chasing Alex up that mountain, but why does she think he's their ultimate target?

“I'll blow the shit out of their asses” … very amusing image, but also a little ridiculous

“that the Helbots were coming after them” or “that the Helbots would be coming after them”

“They hadn't been to the water for a while” or “Neither had been to the water recently” or something like that

“at the [shore to meet.] This could be a good time to make friends” … so she thinks he's ready to make friends again? It wasn't too long ago that he was avoiding people, right? … But he seems up for it?

“Since he was very different from everyone, could he make friends?” … aw, Alex, of course you can

“there wasn't anyone playing beach volleyball, getting a tan, or surfing” … well then what are they doing? Are people here and not doing those specific things, or is there no one here?

“Alexander's eyes opened wide as he gazed” or “Alexander's eyes became wide open as he gazed”

“That is a beautiful name” … ha, Alex is quite the charmer at age 5 or whatever he is now

“Her mother named Elora swam up to the surface” … Alex doesn't know her name, so we shouldn't either yet. Vila can introduce her

“Alexander threw the ball eight hundred feet” … I like Alex being amazing at simple things, but do the other two think it's weird that a human can do that?

“Alexander bent his legs so deep he leaped over the pile of rocks” … same as previous comment, but also I feel like “deep” is the wrong word, maybe “Alexander bent his legs and leaped over the pile of rocks”

“Hobbes! Hobbes! Where are you?” … uh oh, I hope Hobbes is all right

“He is a freak” … how so? Because of the amazing speed and such, or because he's a human? Are they technically correct, or just racist? … oh, because of his hair and eyes? What, these kids have never seen dyed hair before?

“He threw a punch at Hortor, but he grabbed his hand” … Alex was doing all that amazing stuff, so I expected his punch to really surprise and maybe even hurt Hortor when the other caught it. Are the Aquamaids as strong as Alex?

“Hobbes came to Alexander's rescue” … unnecessary sentence

“away. [Hobbes stood] near Alexander”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!' Alexander screamed at the Aquamaid doctor” … very good, Alex is responding perfectly for someone who has dealt with so much trauma. I feel sad for him

“he is not one of those kids that beat you” … did someone tell Alice he was beat up by Aquamaid kids? The couple who called her knew he was bitten, but for all they know it was sea shrimp or something, or worse they might think it was Hobbes

“My daughter had a good time playing with you” … wow, that was a bit coincidental. Also, shouldn't he be happy to do his job even without Alex playing with his daughter? The way he says it, it's like he helped Alex because of Vila, not because he's a doctor and all

“Alexander had gained the doctor's trust. He was so happy that he trusted this doctor and got his wounds treated. He became friends with the doctor's daughter, which made it even better” … this whole paragraph is unnecessary, it basically sums up the last few minutes

“I want him to come back August 24th for a medical examination” … why that day specifically? The doctor could just say “in two months” or something, or even “I want him to come to the hospital for a medical examination” and have them figure out the exact date off screen. Also, why does this random doctor think to do tests on him and not anyone in the government or military? And actually I think they did, so why doesn't Alice just tell the doctor those results now?

“Most Aquamaids feed on blood of farm animals from Earth” … why do Aquamaids feed on the blood of Earth animals? Wouldn't they feed on animals from their own planet?

“That was scary being face to face with those guys … I can't believe those kids would do that to you!” … this is the perfect moment for Alice to offer teaching Alex to defend himself, I'm a little surprised she doesn't but I assume it's coming

“He hoped [never to have] another Aquamaid try to drink his blood” or “He hoped [no other] Aquamaid [would] try to drink his blood” or something like that

Okay, that's sweet, you gave Alex a love interest and she's basically Ruto which I find amusing. I'm not super happy that her race is named so close to Mermaids and I wonder how the male Aquamaids feel about having “maid” in their name, but otherwise they seem pretty interesting with the blood drinking and pet orcas. Alex got to show his trauma a bit and Alice was there to calm him down, and Alex got in a fight with bullies which gives him a reason to learn self-defense. All together a solid chapter!

Any questions for me?