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Silverwing-Chapter 2 Revised

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CHAPTER TWO-MASQUERADE

The carriage soon pulled up to the largest banquet hall in all of Eris, located on the outskirts of the Merchant District near the Neighborhood District gates. Kiowa strapped his fox mask onto his face as Maria reached for her own mask. It was shaped perfectly to fit to her forehead and the left half of her face, made of metal. Long ago, it had belonged to a suit of Living Armor, and appeared very human, though elegant tendrils of copper and silver twisted over the feminine gold face. The carriage door was opened by an elaborately dressed Escort who bowed to Kiowa as the mercenary stepped out. The Escort then held out a white-gloved hand for Maria before leading the two mercenaries through the huge doorway and archway and into the banquet hall proper.

Kiowa and Maria were halted at the top of the sweeping entrance staircase so their names and Guild could be announced to the crowd of sparkling, shimmering masks gathered below. The denizens of the Masquerade went quiet as the pair descended the stairs, but soon the room was once more humming with music and dance. Maria and Kiowa greeted Drogen, the head of the Crimson Dagger Guild, before proceeding into the thick of the Masquerade.

"I hope you realize the Master's sketches are useless, right?" grumbled Maria as her emerald eyes scanned the sea of masked faces.

"Mmm," Kiowa said, the amusement he felt not reaching his eyes, "I hope you realize that the Master provided more than just sketches in those files. Good luck, Miss Gearheart. I believe I've just spotted Varin."

"No---Kiowa---wait!" hissed Maria as the older mercenary slipped away, leaving her alone. "Ugh!" She seethed as she looked around.

Maria had read the notes the Master provided in the file, but committing those notes to memory was a different story. She decided to sit back for a few moments and simply observe the gathering. A quick jig was playing, and only a handful of Masqueraders were out on the dance floor. Kiowa caught Maria's eye on the far side of the hall. It appeared as though he had lost his target. Maria smiled to herself. She always enjoyed a bit of a competition, and now that Kiowa had lost his contact, Maria was determined to find her own first.

Her eyes fell on a large gathering of women surrounding two men in matching white and black wolf masks. Maria ran a hand through the golden tresses hanging over her shoulder and strolled lithely over to the group, easily pushing through the gaggle of giggling women. When all else failed, she knew, ask the right questions to get the right answers.

"Excuse me, boys," "she said, smiling and laying a gloved hand on one of the young men's shoulders. Their armbands proclaimed them to be members of the Blade and Shield House.

Maria remembered their Guild name from Phrixus's file. This is going to be appallingly easy, she thought to herself as she smiled darkly.

The women fawning over the pair fell silent, many of them looking disgruntled, as the men's eyes widened, each giving Maria a toothy grin after scanning her up and down.

"What can we do for ya, sweetheart?" the one with the platinum blond hair and the black wolf mask asked, winking at her.

"yeah, doll. Anything for a Zeveradico. Especially a goddess like you. Anything." His cohort with shaggy brown hair and the white wolf mask grinned as he pinched her side playfully.

Maria hid a grimace beneath a brilliant smile as she said, "Would one of you fine gentlemen do me the pleasure of a dance? I saw you from across the room and simply couldn't resist."

The two men bickered with one another before it was decided that the one with the brown hair would remain with the crowd of women while the blond would escort Maria to the dance floor. As they made their way through the labyrinth of Masqueraders---the blond jabbering happily---Maria scanned the hall once more for Kiowa. She spotted his fox-faced mask near the punch and sweets table, talking to a few mercenaries that Maria could only assume were the heads of other Guilds. Kiowa must have lost Varin, or else Maria was positive that her Zeveradico counterpart would still be with the new recruit. She still had the upper hand.

As the next song began to play---a slow waltz---Maria finally began paying attention to her dance partner. He was mid sentence. "---something like that?" He looked at her, smiling expectantly.

She shook her head, trying to focus. "I'm sorry, what was your question? I…my attention was elsewhere."

The young man nodded, oblivious. "I asked what you and Silverwing are doing here this evening. The Zeveradico don't generally make public appearances at things like this. Are you recruiting or something like that?"

Maria forced a laugh that not even most of her own Guild would have known was fake. "No, no," she said as they caught step with the other dancers, "nothing like that. The Master simply desires us to work on our public relations among the other guilds."

"Oh." The blond looked disappointed. "But your guild is the most revered in all of Lysand. Probably all of the West of Nendril. The hell do you need to keep up public relations for?"

"I'm sorry, but what was your name again?" Maria intentionally redirected the conversation.

"Just call me Oskar, sweetheart. By the way, if the Zeveradico ever do need new recruits, I'm looking to get the hell outta the Blade and Shield House."

"Aha, no more BASH for you, Oskar?" teased Maria, feigning a playful smile as she ran a light finger down his chest.

He chuckled, pulling her closer to his body. "Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies BASH attracts. I'd just like to run with a higher class, if you know what I mean." He ran a finger down her spine and toyed with the lacing of her corset.

"Say, how often do you boys take in new recruits?" Maria stiffened in discomfort.

"Uh…one every month or two. Most of 'em don't stick around. We just got a new one, actually. Phrixus Halfstone."

Maria laughed out loud.

"Yeah, I know, right? Funny name. He's from Sadwin or something. Way the hell in the Northeast," Oskar laughed with her, mistaking her reason for doing so.

"Where is he? I…I have family in that part of the continent."

Oskar looked jealous and hurt as he grumbled, "I'll introduce you after the song."

"Thanks, darling," said Maria, ruffling his hair. This song can't end quickly enough, she groaned internally.

At long last, the final quavering note fell silent, and Oskar led Maria to the far corner of the banquet hall where a cluster of tables stood. A young man with a bear mask sat leaning back in a chair with black leather boots propped on the table in front of him. He was talking animatedly with an older gentleman wearing a metal owl-shaped mask. As Maria and Oskar approached, the older man excused himself and wandered away.

"Who was that?" he doesn't have a guild band," Oskar asked, following the stranger with his eyes.

"Dunno," Phrixus replied, shrugging. "Just sat down and started talking. Pleasant guy. I ain't a dancer, so it ain't like I cared. But that don't matter. Who's this lovely lady?"

Phrixus's smile was striking---broad and white. He stood up, taller than Maria even in the stiletto heels that brought her to six feet. He was broad as a tree. There was no doubt in Maria's mind that Phrixus was indeed not a dancer. His rippling muscles would allow him all the grace he needed in a fight, but would only be cumbersome in a more delicate setting such as this. His hair was a sandy blond, and pulled back in a high ponytail. His eyes were a crystal blue. He stuck out a hand to shake Maria's.

"This is Maria Gearheart of the Zeveradico Guild," Oskar said. "Damn, man…you really gotta brush up on the guilds in these parts. Anyway, she says she's got relatives out in Sadwin."

"Do you, now?" asked Phrixus, sitting down and peering at the female mercenary in amusement. "Whereabouts in Sadwin?"

"Gormal," Maria responded immediately, smiling.

"Aha, yeah! Nice city! It's got the Hound's Tooth! One of the best taverns in all of Nendril, that is."

"Indeed. My relatives take me there frequently when I go to visit."

"Well," Oskar said, clearing his throat. "I'll excuse myself, then. Shouldn't leave Kaz alone with all those girls much longer." He walked away as Maria sank into the chair across from Phrixus.

"You ain't got family in Sadwin," the large man said, leaning forward and lowering his voice.

"Of course not," laughed Maria, waving an unconcerned hand. "If I did, I would have known that Gormal outlawed alcohol twenty-five years ago and shut down all its taverns."

"Touche, little girl," he chuckled. "So, what's it you're really after?"

"An invitation." Maria pulled the invitation the Master had given her from behind the decorative rose at her hip. She handed it swiftly to the large mercenary. "The Master has had his eye on you since you first arrived in Eris. He would like to invite you to join the Zeveradico."

Phrixus raised an eyebrow in amusement. "What's he want with me? I ain't even had my first assignment yet with BASH."

Maria rolled her eyes, frowning. "When the most prestigious Guild in the country asks a member of the lowest to join its ranks, said member would be wise not to ask questions."

"N' what's in it for me if I choose to accept?" He sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Let me ask you this," Maria countered, squinting slyly at him. "What is it you came all the way across the continent for, Mr. Halfstone? Surely it wasn't to join BASH. So really…what isn't in it for you?" She lowered her mask, a glittering smile glued to her lips as Phrixus looked away in contemplation.

Kiowa laid a hand on Maria's shoulder at that time, making her jump. "Are you ready, Miss Gearheart?"

"I am," she nodded, returning her mask to her face. She glanced back to Phrixus. "Information regarding the position can be found in that invitation. The choice is yours, Mr. Halfstone."

As the two left Phrixus, Maria turned to Kiowa. "So you've delivered your invitation, then?" She tried to hide her disappointment.

"No," Kiowa responded lightly.

"What do you mean, no? I thought you found Varin when we first arrived?" Maria was shocked. It was unheard of for Kiowa to go against the Master's orders. The other mercenary did not break his silence, and Maria knew better than to keep prodding him.

Just as they were about to leave the banquet hall, Kiowa suddenly halted, producing his invitation from his inner breast pocket.

"One moment, Maria," he murmured, slipping from her side. He walked up to a group of men discussing the latest in the Lysandium trade business and the advances of the neighboring country, Gandal, onto Lysand's borders. Kiowa touched one of the men on the shoulder.

"Mr. Westforge," was all he said as he handed the other mercenary the invitation. Kiowa then rejoined Maria.

She stared at him. "That's it?" she asked, aghast. "Glad to see you could put a little effort into your job for the evening."

Kiowa gave her a patient smile. "Maria, the Master said that we were to convince these men to join. There is no doubt in my mind that your forward feminine charm did a fine job with Phrixus. Varin, on the other hand, prefers a bit of a mystery. Had I approached him and discussed joining the Zeveradico, I am certain his interest would have been lost."

"Feminine charm," Maria muttered. "That mask suits you perfectly, Kiowa. Sly as a fox."

He gave her an amused nod. "Well then, one objective down for the evening. On to the blacksmith."

"I had forgotten." Maria sighed.

Just as the two began to climb the main stairway, there was a scream from above them followed by the sound of many men shouting. Kiowa instinctively grabbed Maria's arm, placing himself between her and whatever was playing out above. The banquet hall had gone dead silent, all eyes turned to the entrance as the huge doors were slammed open and Temple Guards marched in.

"This Masquerade is hereby disbanded by order of Lord Bercimak," barked a soldier in a Captain's violet cloak, hand resting comfortably on the hilt of his sword.

"May I ask why?" asked the head of the Crimson Dagger Guild, Drogen, stepping forward in defiance.

"No, you may not," the Captain leered. "From hence forth, no Mercenary gathering of three Guilds or more may meet for any reason. If you have issues with that, you may bring it to the Temple Palace."

Maria opened her mouth to protest just as Kiowa turned to her, clapping his hand tightly over her mouth. "Hush, Maria," he whispered. "Now is not the time."

She bit his finger, making him recoil. "What better time than now? We're in masks, Kio. If we said something, how would they know who to pin?"

"Why risk it?" he hissed, dragging her back down the stairs and into the crowd as Drogen cleared his throat.

"I don't know about you," Drogen announced to the crowd at large, "But I am getting pretty sick of a new, nonsensical decree or five being issued by Bercimak every damn day." The Temple Captain at the top of the stairs stiffened. "I'm thinking that it's high time we start getting answers! I've had enough of being bullied around by a ruler who never takes into consideration what his people want, and I know I'm not the only one. Enough of the decrees! Enough of the bans! Enough of the taxes, restrictions, and curfews! Enough pretending like everything in this damn country is fine! Gandal encroaches on Lysandian territory and Eris every day, and the only damn thing Bercimak is doing about it is ignoring that it's happening at all!"

"He's going to get himself killed," Phrixus whispered, appearing beside Kiowa and Maria out of nowhere. "Somebody oughtta do something before he goes too far."

"He went too far the moment he first opened his mouth," Kiowa murmured in response, hand still clasped tightly on Maria's wrist. "We need to leave. Things are about to get dangerous."

As Kiowa's last words fell, the Captain drew his sword, eyes flashing. "You dare say such things of your ruler?" he said, insulted. "You and every single member of the Crimson Dagger guild are hereby arrested!"

Cries of utter indignation rose from the crowd as an entire squad of Temple Guards marched up behind their captain, swords drawn.

"We gotta do something!" Phrixus shouted over the rising din as he drew a long knife from his belt.

"Now is not the time!" Kiowa shouted, struggling to keep a hold of Maria.

"And the Master said I wouldn't need my scythe," Maria said as the Temple Guards sprinted down the stairs. Shouts filled the air as those who had brought their weapons took on the guards.

"Phrixus, if you wish to be hired by the Zeveradico, you will not engage the Temple Guards! And Maria, if you wish to remain a Zeveradico, you will shut your mouth and leave! Now!" Kiowa snarled, his grey eyes flashing as he made for the nearest window.

Maria struggled to free herself from Kiowa's grasp, but she knew the older mercenary was right. Now was indeed not the time, though this might be the spark that Eris needed to finally explode at Lord Bercimak. If one was not a merchant, a hunter, or a farmer in Eris, one was a part of a Mercenary Guild, and the Crimson Dagger was one of the higher ranked in the city.  Too many people would be affected by this, and Maria could not be happier.

Bercimak would get what he deserved eventually; that was enough for Maria. She sighed and stopped struggling against Kiowa, knowing that the only way they would truly be able to help not only the Crimson Dagger but all of Eris would be to make it out alive this evening. The Master expected no less. She was relieved to find Phrixus running behind the two Zeveradico.

Kiowa discreetly opened the large window, though all attention was drawn to the fighting Crimson Dagger members now. He ushered Maria and Phrixus through the window before following suit.

"Run!" Maria gasped as a Temple Guard along the alley there shouted at them. The three sprinted down a few back alleys, quickly losing the guard, before they stopped to catch their breath.

"What should we do?" the only female of the group questioned, looking to Kiowa for instruction. It was not often that she felt helpless.

"We have orders from the Master to carry out," he reminded her sternly. "That is our top priority."

"But the Crimson Da—" she protested before being cut off.

"No, Maria. Not tonight. Come. Phrixus, please follow the instructions you have been given," Kiowa said curtly, glaring at Maria.

"I ain't so sure I want to be a part of a Guild that lets its own kind fall," Phrixus said lowly.

Kiowa rounded on the large man. "Listen to me, Phrixus Halfstone, because I will only say this once," he hissed, his metaphorical mask shattering while his fox mask picked up the slack by hiding the rage on his face. "The Master of the Zeveradico has his own agenda. This is bigger than the Crimson Dagger and Lord Bercimak. I would not give you more details even if I knew them myself. The Zeveradico serves Eris and Lysand first and foremost. You came to this country for a reason. What was it?"

The mercenary did not wait for the foreigner's response as he once more took Maria's wrist. He glanced back at Phrixus one final time, the large man standing deep in thought, before the two Zeveradico mercenaries began the trek on foot to the Blacksmith's.
FIRST CHAPTER-[link]

NEXT CHAPTER-[link]

Revised chapter 2.

I could really use the feedback, so PLEASE comment if you read this. The good, the bad, even the ugly...I can take the criticism...as long as it's constructive.
© 2011 - 2024 MagpieVon
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QuiEstInLiteris's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

the room was once more buzzing with music and dance
Your use of "buzzing" strikes me as a bit off. Conversation buzzes, but music usually does not, unless it's produced by a kazoo or digerido, and dance doubly so. I might have used "swirling" or "flowing" or another word that conveys smooth movement, to cover both the music and the dancing.

She shook her head in a manner to focus.
In an attempt to focus? In a manner meant to bring focus? In order to focus? It's an odd sentence.

Too many people would be affected by this, and Maria could not be happier.
She could not be happier? But I thought she was just incensed? Maybe add something about reaching that decision, so we know she's not just having bizarre mood swings?

his metaphorical mask shattering while his fox mask picked up the slack by hiding the rage on his face
This. Sentence. Is. Awesome. I love that image so very much.

I think that you might be using too many dialogue tags. Maria alone grumbles, then hisses, then seethes, then smiles, teases, groans, grins, giggles, counters, mutters, sighs, snarls, gasps, questions, and protests protests. Another fellow winks, which frankly doesn't convey speech. (Though that one could be separated from the sentence: " 'Just call me Oskar, sweetheart." He winked.") It slows down your dialogue, and you seem to be straining not to use the word "said." Except in places in which it's necessary to identify the speaker, you could do with getting rid of some of your tags altogether.

Again, though, your pacing was excellent, especially when things started getting tense. Pacing an anxious scene is one of the hardest things, and you pulled it off perfectly. I feel as though I know Maria a lot better now, and she's still a bit of a spunky female sidekick, but now she's one with motives and apparently some pretty kickass feminine wiles - nothing more dangerous than that. And now we have a mysterious foreigner!

You did the lower-class dialectic very well, by the way. Sometimes writing a dialect can just make it unintelligible, or it's too inconsistent to be believable. I can hear the BASH members' voices in my head, and they do sound like common toughs. Very well done.