Think Think

The first thing I noticed about this poem is that you are using the whole "free-verse poetic template" too stringently. It is OK to have a line of your poem written out longer so your line breaks don't chop the poem into non-sequitur like pieces.

Example:

"pretending to want
then refusing
there's pumpkin
puree on his chin"

Unless you really wanted me (an average reader) to cogitate on the word "pumpkin" (pause there), you would do better to write it out like this:

pretending to want
then refusing
there's pumpkin puree on his chin

That is a totally acceptable deviation from the shortened lines you often see in free verse poetry. There is no set limit to how many characters you can have on one line to make it more "poetic"...but you do have to keep one full idea whole; as chopping it up becomes two ideas that don't make immediate sense.

Again:
"the others
are out
in their costumes
trick-or-treating"

The others are out
in their costumers
trick or treating

OR

the others are out in their costumes trick or treating.

Last thing I'll say about this is a caution against eschewing all punctuation---at least on this poem. When I don't use any punctuation, I usually am writing a short poem where the formation of the template and line breaks makes them redundant. Most poets using free verse get very perplexed about how to punctuate their poem, and many using this type of template that you've emulated get rid of it altogether in the idea that it makes it more "modern" and "free".

For the novice poet, it's an easily corrected mistake. For the seasoned poet, it's just lazy.

Of course poetry has its own punctuational rules, and they are normally up to the composer of the poem, but I truly feel your poem would benefit from some careful editing and punctuation.

Good luck with the contest!