A New Past

I blinked open my eyes in the darkness. I couldn't see anything other than a small sliver of moonlight coming through the window. I couldn't hear anything other than the deep breaths coming from the teen on the other side of the room.

The long haired raven had went to bed early, saying that he was still exhausted from the day before, when his parents had made  surprise visit. I followed him shortly after. I figured that I needed to get as much sleep as I could when I could get it. I guess I should be grateful that I woke up, though, The dream that I was having was the same memory that I had had on my first day here. It wasn't something that I wanted to repeat.

I sat up with a sigh, letting the blankets pool around my waist. I grabbed the vibrating object that disturbed my sleep, not that I minded. Scratch that. I minded when I saw who it was.

'Hey man! Why don't we meet up? Like, right now.' I frowned, a completely different emotion from my normal emotionless facade.. I shot a glance at the sleeping figure in the other bed. I needed to make sure that he was asleep.

In the few weeks that I have known him he has pestered me quite a bit, but I was starting to get used to him. The one thing that I really minded was the one time that I saw him messing with my phone. He was just about to read a very disturbing text that I had gotten from the man that was currently texting me.

I felt like just ignoring the text and trying to go back to sleep, but I knew that wouldn't do any good.  Even if I did ignore this man, or Kyou should I call him, he would just keep pestering me and would continue to text me until I answered him. Then when I never answered him he would talk with my father. Considering the fact that his father and mine are good pals, that wouldn't be the best thing.

'Fuck you.' I sent back. I wanted that to get my point across, but part of me knew that it wouldn't. It was midnight, to late for certain people, but for others it was just about time for some fun. Sadly, Kyou was just like the latter.

'That's what I'm wanting to do, so why are you still just sitting in your room. Get out here so that I can do just that.' Of course. Leave it to Kyou to say something like that. I hated the bastard, that's why I wished that he didn't have my number. Damn my father.....

'Go find yourself a whore and leave me alone.'

'Why should I go find a whore when I have a bitch ready for the taking?'

'You have a bitch? That's great. Go get her and leave me alone.'

'Come on Hisoka! Just come meet me. Where are you anyway?'

'In my dorm at school. I was trying to sleep before you started pestering me.'

'I can pester in more ways than one, love. Now, just sneak out and come meet me.'

'Can't.'

'Yes you can.'

'Maybe, but I still won't.'

'Why not?'

'My roommate is in the room.' It wasn't a total lie, and even if it was, I wouldn't have minded lying to this bastard. I hated him. I glanced over at Ran again, he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Lucky him.

'Awake?'

'He could be any minute.'

'Just hurry up and sneak out before he wakes up. I haven't fucked your tight as in a while.'

'No, and let's leave it like that then.' I hated the fact that he had taken me before, I felt ashamed that I let it happen. At first he was my friend, I thought. That's when he turned out to be just like his old man.

'I have a raging hard-on right now, and you are going to fix it.'

'No. You deal with it on your own.' He was disgusting, but I had to answer him or else he would tell his father, who would tell my father, who in turn would put me through even more hell than he already does. Yay. Fun for me.

'Seriously dude. I want you to take care of it for me. Why don't you just sneak out? I know you can.'

'Go fuck yourself. I'm not your toy.' I typed back angrily and as soon as I sent it I got the fastest reply from him.

'Maybe I will, if you don't come help me with my problem. Think about what you said again. You are my plaything, not just mine but as well as others'. Think over your words carefully before you say them. Alright, love?'

'I think that you can shut the hell up and fuck you!' With that last text sent to him I snapped my phone closed and I threw it as hard as I could at the wall. It hit hard, but sadly it didn't break. I didn't care how loud the sound was. If it woke Ran up he could deal with it. Anyway, he was a sound sleeper so it shouldn't have woken him up.

I leaned against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest. I was always a toy to someone. It didn't matter who it was that I met, that I grew close to, I was always their toy. Even when I tried to protect myself. I felt tears pricking my eyelids, but I wasn't planning on letting them fall. My mind, it seemed, had other plans. Before I knew it I could feel the tears running silently down my face.

I buried my head my head into my knees. I needed to calm down, and try to think of better things, though I had no clue what to think about.  I never lost my composure this much unless something happened, and that something must have been the dinner a couple weeks ago. I had never acted like this before. I was remembering the worst times of my life every time I fall asleep. It wasn't fair. It shouldn't be like that.

Ever since Kyou came to the dinner with my father I've been acting like this. It's bad when I even notice the change. I wish things could just be different. I wish that life could have been easier on me. You don't always get what you want, though, and, in my case, I never get what I want. Never have, never will.

I closed my eyes trying to forget about the bad things and focus on the good, but the sad thing is, it's been so long that I can't even recall anything good coming out of my life. I couldn't think of anything that made me happy. It seemed impossible at the moment. So instead of thinking of something happy that I was originally, I ended up thinking of something worse.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" I asked as I looked at the older teen sitting next to me.

"Come on! You know what I'm talking about!" Kyou insisted. He was right, I did indeed now, but I didn't want to think about it. Not again.

"Yeah, I do, but still! We are too young for that and you aren't gay."

"I might be, I don't know which side of the line I prefer." He said in a cocky manner. "Anyway's it's just a game, we aren't too young for games."

"That's not just a game." I said uncomfortably. "And we are too young fr it, and I'm not gay either."

"You don't know if you are or not." He pointed out.

"So what? We are still too young."

"Oh come on!" Kyou said as he raised his arms up in exasperation. "You let my father do it with you."

"I didn't let him!" I objected but it didn't do any good.

"It's only fair that I do it to you since you let my old man do it." The 13 year-old crawled closer to me. I would have backed up, but the wall was in my way, and the only other place I could go was the floor, and the only way I would accomplish that would be by forcing myself to fall on the floor. Considering it was a hard-wood floor I would have rather not.

"No, I-I don't...." I trailed off as Kyou pushed me up against the wall, making me let out a grunt of pain as my sore back was pressed up flat to the wall. He smirked even more before kissing me forcefully.

My eyes snapped open, I certainly didn't want to remember anything more tonight. Especially not that right now. The tears were falling harder and faster down my cheeks, but I let them fall without a fight. Nobody was going to see them. If anybody did it would be Ran, and he was fast asleep, or so I thought.

My phone just kept vibrating and it wouldn't stop. I wanted it to stop, but I couldn't find it in myself to go get it and turn it off myself. I knew that it was Kyou again, and I didn't want to talk with him, after the first time he did that to me, but it wasn't my choice to make. It should have been, but I didn't decide who I talked too and who I didn't. Only at school was that possible, but at home it wasn't. With Kyou it wasn't.

I moved my head so that I could look at the glowing numbers of my alarm clock to see that it was a little after one in the morning. I wasn't going to go back to sleep tonight, whatever happened I wasn't going to. I buried my head back into my knees, feeling the tears going through my sweat pants and feeling the wetness my legs gained.

Shortly after I stopped hearing the vibrating of the phone on the floor. I raised my head again to see why it stopped. I was thankful that it did, but it shouldn't have died already. What I saw surprised me on many levels. The image that I saw was Ran, standing there, holding my phone, and I assumed that he had read what Kyou wrote back to me. He might have even read the whole conversation for all I knew! I hadn't even noticed that he had woke up.

Judging from the look on his face he did read that message, and the look on his face was one of cold anger. I didn't understand why, but I knew that he didn't like Kyou, he seemed to have mustered a hatred for him on the first day that they met. Now, he had the look on his face that he got when he was feeling a strong hatred for something. It was a face that I had only seen once before, at the dinner when he was near his parents.

When he looked up from the brightly lit screen of the phone his different colored eyes settled on me. His eyes were hard and cold, and they gleamed from the light reflecting off them.

His voice was thick with what I could only describe as cold venom when he spoke. I could practically feel the sharpness of that chilling voice.

"What is this?"  All I could do at the moment was stare back at him, and hope that he couldn't see my tear streaked face. I couldn't think of an answer to give him. What could I tell him? What did I want to tell him......?