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shadowfire-x's avatar
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I just completed part of what you could consider a reboot of Fleischer’s character. I think it adds a lot of depth, primarily by giving more dimension to some of the people that had the biggest impacts on his life. The whole thing is about 26 pages on MS Word, so it’s not too hefty a read.

TW: Domestic violence, child abuse
Mature
© 2012 - 2024 shadowfire-x
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dark-blood-rayne's avatar
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

Though I'm not sure where you got this idea of Arranged Marriages in Germany, I'm sure you were trying to capture the Toughness of life in General, after the Great War.

Toughness which would be "taken out" on the younger kids, who were suprisingly protected by the HitlerJugend in that period, instead of abused by their parents. The most courageous ones would fight even at 16 year olds.

I believe you were trying to capture the "Real Hero" quality of the Nazis or Wehrmacht soldiers? Their motivation was a different one than pleasing their drunk uncles, or being scared into joining the army.

The blonde people in general are more chaotic and violent, like Huns, so this was at least pretty accurate, unfortunately. But some were actually very gentle. Most germans were too soft for War, but still they were above average, most of the times, and fought and won against all odds.

So despite their Racial Softness like that of the blonds, other Arians were trained by their general sorrow during the Great War, and gas attacks, trench warfare, and mostly trying to avoid becoming a colony of the French or Westerners, as had happened a century before, when Napoleon conquered the german states, and used them as recruits against the Russian Empire.

You should try to capture some of the social and political drama of the interbelic period, which is much deeper than this, but yours is a good start, however.