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While the drawing is flawed, its difficult to see your corrections, but looks like you have the neck too long, the right shoulder out far too wide from her torso. The left arm position looks more 'right', but kills the silhouette, and the spine is probably too long too. It looks an anatomical improvement and I guess it still looks wrong because you are working with something wrong to begin with. lol Looks like the artist has just drawn the torso and the lower body separate not really considered the whole body.