Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me Book I

This story is the prequel to Set Fire to the Rain Book III and The Beautiful Ones Book II. You do not have to have read those stories first to be able to follow this one; although if you read those stories you will appreciate some of the subtle references and tie-ins.

I hope you enjoy Josie and Alistair's story.

Prologue - Everything

"You're a falling star, you're the getaway car, you're the line in the sand, when I go too far
You're the swimming pool on an August day and you're the perfect thing to say
And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute, oh when you smile at me, you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true 'cause you can see it when I look at you
And in this crazy life and through these crazy times, it's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything"

Everything by Michael Buble

Alistair eased his way down the narrow corridor towards the kitchens. He was supposed to be in the barn shoveling horse shite, but the rumbling in his stomach had only grown more insistent the harder he tried to ignore it. The bowl of broth and bread that Lady Isolde had sent down could barely sustain a child let alone a boy who was exerting the energy he was; as he rounded the corner and was halted in his tracks. A young girl was a few yards ahead of him heading in the same direction as he was. She paused as if sensing him. He slid into a nearby alcove and out of sight just as she glanced over her shoulder. Alistair drew in a deep breath, it was Teyrn Cousland's daughter. What the hell was she doing, sneaking into the kitchens? She was a noble's daughter, she could just request a servant to bring her food.

Damn it! He couldn't very well sneak into the larder undetected with her going in there too. He was just about to head back to the barn when out of nowhere she stepped in front of the niche he was hiding in, startling him. He yelped and then cringed when he realized he sound like a bloody girl.

"Whatcha doing?" She asked with a grin as her sapphire eyes danced with mischief.

"Aaah...nothing…I-I made a wrong turn and didn't realize where I was headed," Alistair explained knowing the excuse sounded lame even to him.

Her right eyebrow raised in a gesture that Alistair found strangely attractive. "Really? You got lost in your own castle?" She asked skeptically.

"Well, it's not really my castle…"

"But you do live her here, right?" She interrupted.

"Aaah…yes," Alistair mumbled, completely caught off guard by the girl's directness. She didn't behave like any of the other young noble girls that had visited Redcliffe. Most were coy, bashful and at times even timid around boys. Always giggling amongst themselves, but reserved in a way that only noblewoman can be.

"So you're telling me that you have never made a trip to kitchens before to raid the larder? Because if that the excuse you are going with I'm going to have to call you a liar."

Alistair felt his anger begin to rise. Who in the Void was she to call him a liar? She didn't know him and he was just about to tell her that when the most radiant smile spread across her face, the words of rebuke dying in his throat.

"It's okay, as long as you don't tell my mother that you saw me down here, you're secret is safe with me."

"Why don't you want your mother to know you're down here?"

The young girl stood up straight, the grin fell from her face, and in a mocking stern voice said, "A lady doesn't eat as if she were facing the hangman's noose, a lady doesn't play with swords. A lady learns to play the lute so that she can entertain her husband's guests, a lady must learn to make small talk so that she will bore herself and everyone around her to death..."

Alistair laughed, "I don't believe your mother said that last part."

She grinned at him. "She might have. If King Maric had been smart he should have sent my mother to negotiate with the Orleasians. Her lessons on how a lady should act would have had them surrendering in a matter of minutes."

Alistair laughed again. "Well then that would be an impressive feat."

She was about to reply when his stomach once again made its presence known by growling loudly. The young girl's eyes went wide as she looked at his abdomen and then began to laugh. "I think we need to get you the kitchen immediately before your stomach begins to eat itself."

"Good idea."

They edged their way into the kitchen and looked around. They were completely alone. The girl walked over to the shelf and pulled out several wrapped wedges of cheese, while Alistair pulled some bread out of a nearby basket. He poured both of them a glass of milk and without speaking, both of them feasted until they were about to burst. When they could eat no more, Alistair leaned back and patted his bulging belly. The girl giggled.

He looked up at her and grinned. "What?" He asked innocently.

"You look like you're about to have a food baby," she laughed.

"A what?"

"A food baby. That is what my brother and I call it when your belly is so full that it protrudes out like you're carrying a baby in it."

Alistair rubbed his belly. "Then I will affectionately call you George."

The young girl pushed her belly out and rubbed it. "From this point on I hereby dub you Gracie."

Alistair laughed. "George and Gracie, what a pair they make."

Her eyes were glistening as she looked up at him. "So should I call you George from now on?"

"Of course not that isn't my name, that' my belly's name. You, my lady, may call me Alistair."

She nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Alistair. You can call me Josie."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Josie."

Josie continued to rub her belly. "I'm so full I think I might explode or let out the world's longest belch."

Alistair laughed. "I find it hard to believe that a Lady of your high standing would stoop to such a commoner's practice."

"What? Nobles can't have gas too?"

"Of course you can, but you're supposed to be discrete when you relieve it. Didn't your mother teach you that lesson?" Alistair asked sardonically.

Josie laughed. "I must have tuned her out by the time she reached that point in her etiquette class."

"Well, I'm curious to hear the world's loudest belch. Lay it on me and I will give you my honest opinion."

"You want me to do it now after you questioned my high moral breeding?"

Alistair grinned at her. "I dare you."

Josie cocked an eyebrow, grinned, but shook her head no.

Alistair leaned closer to her still smiling. "I double dog dare you."

Josie continued to grin at him, but shook her head no again.

Alistair leaned even closer, "I triple dog dare ya."

Without warning and before Alistair could move away Josie let out the loudest, longest, smelliest burp he had ever heard, and he nearly fell off his stool from laughing so hard.

Josie smirked at him. "I never turn down a triple dog dare."

Still laughing, Alistair said, "Well, that's good to know. I will keep that in mind for future..."

"You ungrateful brat, how dare you steal from my kitchen!" Lady Isolde bellowed from the kitchen door. Both Alistair and Josie leapt to their feet startled by the Arlessa's sudden appearance.

"I feed you, clothe you and give you a roof over your head and this is how you repay my generosity," Isolde thundered as she rushed toward Alistair and yanked him by the arm out of his seat and toward the door.

"For stealing from my kitchens you will receive ten lashes to your bare back," the Arlessa hissed.

"NO!" Josie yelled from behind him.

Lady Isolde spun to face the young girl, fury blazing in her eyes. Fear for the young girl rose quickly and the only thing that Alistair wanted to do was protect her. He shook his head frantically at Josie, trying to dissuade her from confronting the Arlessa when she was in this state.

"This isn't Alistair's fault. It is mine. I was hungry from sparring, and I persuaded him to show me where the kitchens were. I didn't want to eat alone so I convinced him to stay and eat with me," Josie lied and very convincingly Alistair thought.

"So you are just as much a thief as he is. Since I can't very well whip a Teyrn's daughter I will add your lashes onto his," Lady Isolde sneered.

"No, Lady Isolde, please show mercy. This isn't Alistair's fault."

"Mercy is for the weak," she retorted.

Alistair watched with admiration as Josie straightened her back and glared at the Arlessa. "My father says that it takes more strength to show mercy then to declare a punishment."

"Then your father knows nothing and it's a wonder that he has held onto his land, and title with that kind of thinking," she snorted as she dragged Alistair out the door and down the corridor toward the courtyard.

xXx

Josie stared in disbelief as she watched the Arlessa yank Alistair down the hallway. Josie quickly got her wits about her and sprinted down the passage into the large vestibule. She heard her father's voice coming from the closed doors to her right. She raced toward the door. The two guards that were standing on either side of the door stepped in front of her path.

"I'm sorry, Milady Lady, but the Teyrn and the Arl are in a private meeting and do not wish to be disturbed."

"I need to see my father," Josie demanded.

"I'm sorry, but you will have to wait till their meeting is over," the guard stated.

"This is an emergency. I need my father," Josie retorted.

"It will have to wai…"

"Father!" Josie cried out. "Father…Daddy, I need you."

The door flew open. Her father stepped out, scooped her into his arms and carried her back into the Arl's study. "What is all this fuss about, Pup?"

"The Arlessa…she is going to whip Alistair and it isn't his fault, it's mine…"

"Slow down, Josie. Tell me what happened."

Josie quickly recounted what had happened. Her father frowned as he turned towards the Arl. "Lashing the boy's back for eating food from the kitchens is a bit extreme, Eamon."

"It hasn't been a good harvest this year, Bryce. Isolde is only trying to conserve our rations."

"I can understand the need to safeguard your provisions, but Alistair is just a young boy. And do I need to remind you that he is under your guardianship. I know of a certain someone who would be very put out to learn of the harsh treatment of the boy," Bryce stated.

"The boy must learn that he can't help himself to the kitchens anytime he feels like it," Eamon countered.

"The punishment doesn't fit the crime, Eamon! Are you so whipped with what that Orleasian tart has between her legs that you would let that boy be beaten unjustly, that you would neglect your sworn oath to our King?" Bryce demanded.

The Arl's eyes went wide at her father's accusation and then hung his head. "No…you're right."

The Arl turned to Josie. "Where did Lady Isolde take Alistair?"

"I believe they were headed out to the courtyard," Josie replied.

The three of them swiftly headed out the large castle doors; they had just started down the steps when Josie heard the crack of the whip and a stifled cry. Josie raced into the courtyard. Horror rose up in her so quickly that it brought tears to her eyes. One of Redcliffe's guards was standing in the center of the yard with a whip in his hand, Lady Isolde standing behind him. Alistair was a few feet ahead of them, his arms above his head strapped to a large wooden pole. He was shirtless, and there were several large red welts beginning to form on his bare skin from the lash of the whip.

"Stop! You have to stop this!" Josie shouted as she rushed into the courtyard, her father and the Arl trailing closely behind her.

"Didn't I tell you to mind your own business you little bra…" the words died on her lips as she turned to see Bryce and Eamon standing behind her.

"I would be careful how you finish that sentence, Lady Isolde. You are walking on very thin ice at the moment," Bryce said in a controlled voice. One that Josie had heard numerous times when her father was beginning to lose his patience.

"Your Grace, I did not realize you were there," Lady Isolde said as she bowed slightly to him.

"So your behavior is dictated by who's in your presence?" The Teyrn asked.

"I-I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect to your daughter. I was frustrated with her interference regarding the punishment of a servant," Isolde replied.

"Eamon, you might want to set your wife straight regarding this particular servant." Bryce glared at the Arlessa and then at the Arl before he walked over to the post, examined Alistair's back and then undid the straps around his wrists.

He gently turned the boy to face him. "Alistair, have you ever received this type of punishment before?"

Alistair's eyes immediately averted towards the ground as he avoided looking directly into the Teyrn's. "N-no, your Grace."

Josie cringed. She knew he was lying to protect the Arl and Arlessa, and she knew her father knew it too. She had learned at a very early age that her father never asked a question that he didn't already know the answer to, so it was best to just tell the truth from the very beginning.

"Alistair, you do know that it's a sin against the Maker to lie?"

"Y-yes, my Lord," Alistair stuttered.

"Alistair, look at me."

Alistair slowly lifted his head and looked at her father. The moment that Alistair saw the kind expression on her father's face, Josie saw him immediately relax.

"Son, you aren't in any trouble here. I promise that no more harm will come to you. Just tell me the truth, have you ever received this type of punishment before?"

"Y-yes," Alistair stuttered then quickly added, "But just once when Arl Eamon was away. He knew nothing about it. The Arl is a good man, your Grace. He has always treated me fairly and with kindness. He has provided a good home for me and given me a good education when he didn't have to. I am very grateful to him."

Josie wasn't sure what type of good man allows his wife to beat servants as a common disciplinary tool. Her parents never treated their help so poorly, quite the contrary they were extended members of their family.

Her father nodded then looked over Alistair's shoulder at her. "Pup, can you take Alistair into the castle and have Nan take look at his back?"

"Yes, father," Josie replied as she slid her arm around Alistair's waist and began to guide him toward the stairs.

They were almost out of earshot when she heard her father snarl at the noble couple that stood before him, and she slowed so she could her father reprimanded the couple. "Alistair's treatment is a disgrace. It dishonors his father who has put his trust in you, Eamon, and it degrades you as a noble and as his guardian. If I ever hear even so much as whisper of Alistair being mistreated by your wife's hand again I swear, his father will know about it. If you can't keep your wife under control, Eamon, then might I suggest you send Alistair to the Chantry. At least there he has a better chance of being treated fairly."

xXx

The remainder of the week that the Couslands stayed at Redcliffe, Alistair had been treated like royalty especially by Isolde, but Alistair could tell that for the Arlessa it was only an act that she was putting on for the Teyrn. He was sure that her mistreatment of him would resume once the Couslands returned to Highever.

He saw Josie often during the week. He was glad that he had been able to spend a great deal of time with her in the sparring and equestrian ring. The Arl even allowed him to take his lessons with the Cousland children, but they were never alone, someone was always there with them. Alistair wanted to properly thank Josie for standing up for him, but he didn't want an audience when he did it. Lady Cousland was only eleven years old, a year younger than him, but she had shown the courage and bravery of someone much older and he would forever be in her debt.

On her last day, he saw her in training ring with her brother. He watched as she sparred against with him. She was young and inexperienced, but there were hints of brilliance in her foot work and her strategy; given time and continued training she would be a force to be reckoned with. When her brother had grown tired of toying with her he quickly disarmed her then poked fun at her for fighting like a girl. She had retorted that it took one to know one before she stormed off toward the castle doors.

"Hi Gracie," he said as he stepped out of the shadow of the castle and fell into step beside her.

For a moment she looked confused then she smiled as she rubbed her stomach. She looked over at him, her eyes dancing with delight. "Hi George."

"That was an impressive sparring match," Alistair said.

She cocked an eyebrow. "We both know that the only thing impressive about that fight was my witty retorts to Fergus' lame insults."

Alistair laughed. "Yes, those were very remarkable. If battles could be won on clever comebacks you would reign victorious."

She laughed malevolently as she tapped her fingers together, "Mawhaahaha, let the battle of wits begin."

He grinned at her as he touched her arm and she paused looking up at him. "Josie, I haven't had a chance to thank you…for what you did the other day. That was a very brave thing you did standing up to Lady Isolde."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh yes it was so brave of me to run off to get my daddy to help."

"Josie, there are plenty of girls that wouldn't do or say anything for fear of retribution from the Arlessa. You not only told Lady Isolde that you were to blame for the idea, but you alerted your father and the Arl to the situation. I can't thank you enough and I appreciate you standing up for me."

Clearly uncomfortable with the words of appreciation, an anxious smile spread across her face. He had to stifle a chuckle. If she was uneasy by the mere words of gratitude he couldn't wait to see her reaction to what he had in store for her.

"You're welcome, Alistair. My father taught me that when you see an injustice that it our duty as nobles to stand against it. I am glad that I could help."

"Well, I want to give you a token of my appreciation."

Her eyes squinted as she looked at him skeptically. "What kind of token?"

"JoJo, I promise it will be one that you like, but you have to close your eyes and not open them till I tell you," Alistair instructed.

"Oh no, that doesn't sound fishy at all," Josie replied sarcastically.

Alistair grinned at her as he held out his hand to her. "Trust me."

She placed her hand in his and closed her eyes. He led her to barn and helped her sit down on a bale of hay. There were a few whimpers from the pen beside her. "Don't look yet," he warned.

He released the latch on the coop. "You can open your eyes, Jo."

She opened her eyes and they widened with delight as she focused on the litter of Mabari puppies. "Oh Alistair, they are so sweet," she cooed as she fell on her knees in front of the cage.

Six pairs of eyes stared wide eyed at her for a few minutes before the runt of the litter tottered out of the pen toward her. She extended her hand and the puppy licked at her fingers. She giggled as she scooped the puppy up, cradled it against her chest, and the puppy licked at her neck and face.

"I believe we have a winner," Alistair said.

She looked up at him bewildered. He smiled at her. "Well, you know that Mabaris choose their owners by imprinting on them. I believe this one just chose you."

"Oh no…my parents…"

"I spoke with your father, he said if one imprinted on you than it would be yours to keep."

The radiant smile that spread across her face caused his heart to leap in his chest. She jumped to her feet, with one arm still holding the puppy she flung her other arm around his neck. His arms instinctively went around her waist pulling her to him.

"Thank you, Alistair. Thank you so much. I have always wanted a Mabari," she mumbled against his skin. The vibration of her lips against his flesh caused his stomach to begin to flutter with a mysterious, new excitement and his arms trembled as he pulled her tightly against his body. She felt so soft and she smelled so good…like vanilla and lavender with an undertone of spices.

The puppy began to lick his neck and Alistair chuckled as he pulled nervously back from the embrace. He looked down at her just as she leaned upon her toes and tenderly brushed her lips against his. The contact with her mouth was brief, but it sent a jolt of electricity through him, awakened things in him that didn't even know existed. As he backed away from her, his eyes never left hers, he didn't know if he would ever see her again so he wanted to remember every detail of the face that had changed him and his life forever.

xXx

Alistair slowly made his way through the Denerim market eyeing the stands that held all of the ripe fruit. His stomach growled fiercely at him as breathed in the scent of the peaches. He paid the merchant for one then moved down to the next stall. As hungry as he was, he was going to have to wait to sample the delicious piece of fruit because his helm got in the way. When he had asked Eamon to pull a few strings and have him moved from the Circle to the Denerim Chantry, Eamon had been very hesitant because it was so close to the Palace where his brother now sat on throne. However, after some very persuasive arguments and a promise to always wear his helm in public, the request had been made and the transfer granted.

Alistair had been now been at the Denerim Chantry for almost three years, and it was definitely a more pleasant experience than his first two at the Circle. The Templars in Denerim were a bit more laid back, not as overly zealous as the Circle Templars were. Maybe that had to do with the fact that there were a lot less mages here compared to the Circle. Alistair had struggled with the way a lot of the Templars treated the mages. Most treated the mages with indifference, they were the guards to stood watch over a dormant beast, that could become ravenous at anytime. Alistair could handle the templars indifference, he didn't understand how one human being could look upon another and view them as less, but he could tolerate it. What he couldn't stomach were the few templars that were downright cruel and took enjoyment in bringing pain to others. It was the latter that had driven him to have Eamon make the request.

Alistair paused at the weapons stall just as a young woman brushed past him and the scent of vanilla, lavender and spices drifted up, inundating his senses. He had only smelled that unique combination of scents one other time and the image of Josie's face flickered across his mind. His head turned in the direction that the young woman had headed. Alistair saw her long raven hair swaying behind her as she moved swiftly through the crowd. Alistair picked up his pace in order to follow her from a distance. He had to know if it was her. Since seeing her last, almost five years ago, he had thought of her every night before he went to sleep. He wondered how she was doing, if she ever became the skilled fighter that she had dreamed of, did she still call her food baby Gracie, did she ever think of him and he wondered if the adorable, perky young girl that he had known for only a week had turned into the beautiful young woman that he knew she would become.

To him, she had become a bright shining star that had carried him through those first few years, when he had felt abandoned and alone. It was the strength and bravery that he had seen in her that helped in him endure and push on. He had only known her for a week, but during that brief time she had most definitely changed him.

He drew nearer to the young lady as she spoke with a merchant. She turned her head towards him and his heart began to beat faster, it was her and he had been right she had grown into a beautiful young woman. It was when she smiled that radiant smile of hers, and the blue pools of her eyes danced with mirth, that the air was sucked out of his lungs, she was literally breathtaking.

He watched her, enthralled by her very movements, from the tilt of her elegant neck as she pondered the merchants offer. To the allure of her smile, to the beguiling way she touched the seller's arm as she coerced him around to her to her way of thinking. She mesmerized him and he wanted desperately to take her in his arms, to feel her pressed against him once again and to taste the sweetest pair of lips he had ever or would ever have the privilege to kiss.

But who was he kidding? He would never be with her. She was a noble, he was templar. She came from wealth, he had nothing to offer her. She was gorgeous and he was, well he was just average. He was about to turn to leave when he felt something wedge between his legs. He looked down to see the head of large Mabari sniffing his privates.

He heard a giggle and looked up to see Josie standing in front of him. Alistair unconsciously adjusted his helm.

"Strider, heel boy," she commanded with grin on her lips. The Mabari immediately fell back to her side and sat down.

"I'm sorry about that. He is normally very well behaved in public, but he finds those templar's skirts completely fascinating."

Alistair looked down at his armor and then back up at her. "Aaah, it's a tunic not a skirt."

She smiled at him, "Oh, sorry about it."

"Its okay. Your Mabari listens well," Alistair said as he looked at the dog that he had given her as pup. For being the runt of litter he had grown into huge war dog.

"Most of the time he does," she looked down at beast who was waging his tail and staring up at Alistair. "He seems like you."

Alistair bent down so that he was eye level him and scratched him behind his ears, "Well, I'm honored to have such a noble beast's favor. Where did you get him?"

Josie smiled as if relieving a fond memory, "A boy I once knew gave him to me as a gift."

"And what did you do to deserve such generous gesture?'

"Nothing really, nothing that anyone with half a heart wouldn't have done, but he felt it necessary to repay me." She was a humble as he remembered.

"I'm sure whatever you did wasn't nothing in his eyes. Sometimes the smallest actions can have life changing reactions. Your actions may have seemed inconsequential to you, but they may have had profoundly affected him."

As she pondered what he had said, she bit her bottom lip. The sight of her white teeth pressed against her rosy red lips was the most alluring thing he had ever seen. She looked down at him with those big blue eyes that he wanted to lose himself forever in them. "You may be right. He definitely seemed more impressed with my actions than I was."

Alistair patted the dog one last time on the head then stood up. "Whatever happened to the boy?"

Her eyes furrowed as a sad expression settled over her face. "I don't know. He lived in Redcliffe and I lived Highever. When my family returned home I wrote to him, three times, but he never wrote back. So maybe I wasn't as important to him as I thought."

For once Alistair was grateful that he was wearing his helm to cover the stunned expression on his face. He had never received her letters, but then again he had been sent to the Chantry the week after the Couslands had left. He was sure that Eamon had intercepted them. He had never sent them to Alistair because he would not have wanted Alistair to have any correspondence with a Teyrn's daughter. It pierced at his heart like a thousand tiny pin pricks that she believed that she hadn't been important to him. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that she had changed his life forever. He was just about to do so when a tall muscular man with dark hair rushed up to them. Alistair recognized the man as Josie's brother.

"There you are LuLu. I have been looking everywhere for you. Mother is furious that you haven't returned from the market so that you could change into appropriate attire, her words not mine, before your lunch with the Queen," he stated.

Josie rolled her eyes. "Maker's breath, I am perfectly presentable."

"Well, you know mother, you aren't respectable if you aren't wearing the latest Orlesian fashions."

"I'm not some doll she can play dress up with," Josie huffed.

"Yes, you would think after sixteen years she would have learned that by now, but she stills seems determined to try and make you a properly lady. I told her it was a futile effort, but she won't listen to me. Anyways, dear sister, unfortunately for you I have tasked with getting you back to the estate. So do be a good little girl and get your ass moving before I have to kick it all the way back home," Fergus chuckled.

Josie's eyes went wide. "I would like to see you try, Fergus Cousland. You do remember our last bout in the sparring ring, you were limping for days."

"You got lucky. Now get moving," Fergus ordered.

"Whatever gets you through the night, Fergus." Josie turned back to Alistair. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. It was a pleasure meeting you."

"The pleasure was all mine, Lady Cousland," Alistair replied as he bowed towards her.

"Well, that isn't fair. You know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Names aren't that important," Alistair replied.

She grinned up at him. "Are you playing hard to get?"

"Who me? Never!"

"Then tell me your name, good Ser."

Alistair thought for a moment then smiled. "It's George."

She cocked her right eyebrow as smirk spread across her face. "I am happy to have met you Ser George. I hope our paths will cross again."

"As do I, Milady," Alistair replied. She turned and her brother slid his arm through hers as he led her away. Alistair stood watching the woman that had become everything to him once again walk away from him.

A/N - A huge thank you to Jinx1983 and The Lilacgirl for working their beta magic. I appreciate it, my friends. You rock!