The Misadventures of Omicron Squad

(In a hummer in Nevada desert.)
Specter: So... What doing when you get home.
Wraith: I got a date with Jessica.
Specter: You have a girlfriend? Since when?
Wraith: For about four months smart-ass.
Specter: I guess miracles do happen.
Wraith: Oh fuck you. Anyway what are you doing?
Specter: Going to sleep someone woke me up at 4 in the morning.
Wraith: What happened?

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(Knock,Knock)
Specter: It's four in the morning!
(Knock,Knock)
Specter: What do you want!
Unitoligist: Hello my name is...
Specter: Fuck off!
(SLAM!!!)
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Wraith: Wow.
Specter: Yah, I couldn't go back to sleep.
Wraith: I wonder how Vasquez is doing in the moon base?
Specter: He! I mean she got transferred!?!
Wraith: Yup order came in last night. Haven't you been paying attention to the announcements?
Specter: It's usually rambling about on how weak the pokeumans are or how we will find the dimension gems and rule some other world. So no.
Wraith: Yah and the newest one mention somthing about... What was it? Was it SPRT I don't remember, but something about some elite pokeumans with guns or something like that.
Specter: Yay if I run out of bullets I can pick up their guns and not use my breath.
Wraith: Ew.
Specter: And we are here.

Thy pulled up to a gated facility known by most people as Area 51. Wraith and Specter pulled up there I.Ds and walked inside.

(BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!)

Wraith: What was that?
Specter: Sounds like they found a spy.

Spies in this base were interrogated and shot. There is a teleporter hidden this base that requires three keys to activate. On the other side of this line is the top secret moon base. It was designed to be un-attackable due to the fact that you need a spaceship or the teleporter. This base is where Pokèxtinction develops its top secret weaponry.

Meanwhile... Specter and Wraith met up with the rest of Omicron squad.

Specter: Darwin, Vector report.
Darwin: On our way boss.
Vector: Hey Specter is it cannibalism to eat a pokeuman?
Spector: I really do not know.
Darwin: I heard somebody tried eating a combusken.
Vector: What did it taste like?
Darwin: Chicken, he said it tasted like chicken.
Wraith: You know if Mr.X plans goes the way he hopes. There will probably be a book called 101 ways to cook a Pokemon.
Vector: That'll be a book I'll buy.

In another part of the base...
Scientist: Our latest discoveries include teleporting someone without another receiver.
Base Commander: So I could step in the machine and go anywhere I want?
Scientist: In theory yes but we still have to test on complicated life forms.
Base Commander: What do you mean?
Scientist: Well... Test on inanimate objects work so far and I think it's time to take it up a notch.
Base Commander: How will you send them back?
Scientist: This machine locks onto their genetic structure?
Base Commander: If this works this machine will win us the war and I think I know who will test it. 

At the guard lounge...

T.V: You have died. Restart Checkpoint?
Wraith: Damn it! When the fuck is Colonial Marines coming out?
Vector: I think sometime next year.
Intercom: Omicron Squad please report to science labs.
Darwin: Wow I never saw the labs.
Specter: Lets move people.

When they arrived at the teleporter.

Vector: Sir! You summoned us?
Base Commander: Yes, I did. Gentlemen this machine, if it works will benefit our cause greatly. Imagine moving troops from continent to continent in the blink of a eye.
Wraith: So you want us to step into the strange machine and we will magically appear were ever we want.
Base Commander: Yes.
Wraith: Okay let's do this!
Scientist: Inputing coordinates, okay we're sending you about five miles north of this facility.
Specter: Rodger that.

In a bright flash of light they were gone.

Base Commander: Omicron Squad report.
Vector: Sir it works.
Base Commander: Send them back.

In another bright flash of light they returned.

Wraith: That was like going into light speed.
Scientist: Interesting.

After a few more test they were going to try to teleport them to Washington D.C.

Scientist: Okay the last test for today is to send you to this nations Capitol. Hopefully nothing goes wrong when you regen.
Darwin: Good I don't want to have two heads.
Scientist: Initiating.

Seconds later...

Vecter: Darwin take my picture with Abraham Lincoln.
Darwin: Say cheese.
Spector: Base we have arrived and have all of our limbs.

Meanwhile...

Scientist: The possibilities are endless on what we can do.
Base Commander: This will get me out of this dump and somewhere more prestigious. Maybe I'll run for president and use the brainwash machine to subconsciously tell people to vote for me. Anyway send them back.
Scientist: Yes sir.

As he pressed a few buttons the machine started to smoke and rattle.

Base Commander: Whats going on!
Scientist: I don't know!

It started to fall apart then it just stopped.

Base Commander: What Happened!?! Where's Omicron Squad!?!

After looking at the screen the scientist turns around and says.

Scientist: I don't know how to put this but... I think that they are lost in time.