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The fight for sanity - please critique

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I WORKED LIKE 4EVA ON THIS!!!
-------------------------------------- rp by me self

Conner: gasped as he felt the all too familiar feeling as he lost himself to the monster that hid in the dark depths of his mind. "RUuuuuu...." Conner's cry to into a gurgle half way out of his throat...
Ivy: Felt as Conner grew ridged beside her, "Conner?" she asked after he moaned something, "Are you okay"
"Conner": Conner lifted his head and cackled bearing his fangs as a evil smirk spread across his face
Storm: "What the hell are you two doing!!?!?!?" he gasped between breaths. "The forest is on fire and you two aren't helping!!!" He gasped, "Conner are you okay?"
"Conner": "Oh, I'm better than okay" He said as he slid his claws out of turned on Ivy, "Come here beautiful!!" he spat
Storm: "Hey, back off!" he meowed stepping between Conner and Ivy puffing out his purple fur
"Conner": You should know young silly tom, never step between a predator and his prey...."
Ivy: "Conner! I know you are still there fight it!!! Fight the monster come back to me!!" she meowed while she stepped out from behind Storm
"Conner": Lunges at Ivy
Storm: slams into Conner sending him skidding across the ground. "Leave her alone."
Ivy: "He...he tried to hurt me....."
Storm: turns to Ivy, "Its not conner anymore, go, get help."
Ivy: Shakins head, "No, no, conner is still her. CONNER!!! I know you didn't mean that come her, we'll make it up." she crooned
"Conner": "I'd love that," pulling himself foreward
Storm: "No!" Jumps on Conner slicing his shoilder, then the world was a blur and he felt burning all over his fur and when he could see straight Conner was above him. his claws covered in blood....Storms blood, He had cuts all over his sides and he winced as he struggled under the heavy paws that held him down.
"Conner": "stop struggling, its pointless...." cuffs storm heavly over the head and feels as the tom goes limp under his paw....
Ivy: "Conner.... what did you do?!?!?!"
"Conner": "The same that I'm about to do to you," he meowed glaring at her, the fire glinting off of his eyes wildly. He begins to stalk over to the crippled catwatching as her face twisted in worry, fear, and sadness.
Storm: pulled himself up as best he could, "LEAVE HER ALONE!!!" He yowled balancing awkwardly on three legs
"Conner"- turned to the tom bored, deciding to finish this once and for all he leaped as the tom did so as well. Conner watched as time slowed at he aimed his clwas right at Storms jugular...
Ivy: "NOOOOOO"
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Like? If you want I could do my whole story this way :3
plz comment
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© 2012 - 2024 kitkatcolorful
Comments16
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GwentheCatify's avatar
I love it!! Please continue!