A metaphor for dealing with depression

Based on a conversation I had in Skype.

I beat depression within an inch of its life with an ugly stick, but it took a while. For the longest time, I had many conditions, and so do a lot of people: "If I have X, I will no longer be depressed." For example, "If I had enough money," "If I had kids," "If I had a girlfriend/boyfriend," or, "If I could run away, I'd be happy." The problem is some conditions are beyond our control, and even if we were to achieve them, there comes two horrible questions:
1. If we finally achieve it, then what? We'll no longer be depressed? Why? Often, the person with depression will use tautological reasoning: "If I got accepted onto the team, I wouldn't do anything differently: I'd just not be depressed."
2. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK? Or worse, WHAT IF IT MAKES THINGS WORSE? That's where hopelessness sets in and the depressed person is forced to ask why they want this thing in the first place. ("I want to be on the team to be accepted.")

Rather than fulfilling a condition, the way to destroy depression is to hunt down a way to handle the underlying things you do want (often love, safety, adventure, fame, growth, helping others) and look for ways to improve yourself and find healthier outlets. You wouldn't want that thing you think would cure your depression if you didn't think that thing would bring with it certain conditions (i.e., somebody wants a boyfriend or girlfriend because they think they'll get somebody who will never leave them, forgetting that you cannot control other people: they don't exactly want the boyfriend or girlfriend, but a stable, secure relationship). Often, in the process, you'll either enable yourself to achieve what you wanted ("If I have a girlfriend, I'd be happy." -> "I don't need a girlfriend: I just want to people to care about me, and for that, I need better people skills." -> "Now that I have better people skills and new friends, I was able to get a girlfriend, but she's an added bonus more than a goal.") or changing your mind altogether ("I have all the friends I want: I don't need a girlfriend for that.").

Once you beat depression, one thing that sucks to notice is how many people are depressed and how deceptively simple the answers are (though, you're emotionally stable enough for it to not bother you entirely). It's like the above scenario: you learn that money does not put out a fire, but water does. Now I feel like the only person who figured out water puts out fire, surrounded by burning people asking for change.