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Legacy of Ruin, Chapter 6: Cold as Ice (P2)

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Looking over his newly assembled crew from the quarterdeck felt amazing. The men were packed closely together, and there were a lot of unfamiliar faces in the mass, which pulled Llorrin's attention to those he knew. Irewyth didn't seem to be looking forward to his upcoming speech. Well, at least it didn't surprise him. The hydromancess was talking to Wheann, who seemed rather uncomfortable. Llorrin guessed Wheann was trying to tell the hydromancess to quiet down because he could start any minute, but the half-elf clearly wasn't having much success.

Chuth was at the front of the pack. The sniper had his fists clenched and was keeping a wary eye on Jeredan, who was right next to him and looking at the dwarf-like man curiously, much in the way a starved wolf would look at a chicken that had waltzed upon his path. Llorrin wondered which one of the two men he disliked the most, but quickly decided now wasn't the time to be thinking such things. He was going to need everyone.

Llorrin had placed Carekon at his side, even though the chaplain had no real duty to fulfill – yet. Adane had warned Llorrin how easy it was to forget the positions of others once you'd started rising through the ranks yourself, and it was a warning Llorrin had heeded. It caught his attention that the chaplain was looking rather miserable, but he could only guess why.

"Brotheren, countrymen" Llorrin called, painfully aware of how immature his voice suddenly sounded. He tried hard not to look at Irewyth.

"You've all been informed on what we're set to do and I know we're all itching to get moving, so I'll keep this short. I want you all to know I consider the night elf locked below decks as a friend and an equal, and I hope you will as well. If everything turns out right, Elduin's people may become powerful allies in our war against the orcs. He is not to be harmed, not under any circumstance" he stated, making sure to make his voice sound deeper this time. Llorrin could see his orders didn't fall well with some of the men, Jeredan in particular.

"If it wasn't for Elduin we'd all still be rotting away in the desert, and do I even need to mention the many lives he's helped save?" he added quickly, staring fiercely in the direction of the men who had shrugged off his earlier statement. His words seemed to sway at least a few of them.

"Elduin has informed me the Horde has established a strong hold on central Kalimdor, and I, for one, trust him. We will sail out of sight of the shore for as long as we can. The orcs must not learn of our existence… at least, not until we show up on their doorstep!" he exclaimed, thrusting his cutlass up into the air. It felt like a stupid, impulsive thing to do and he caught Irewyth rolling her eyes, but at least a few men cheered, and Jeredan was among them. Llorrin felt almost grateful for the crusader's demeanor this time. One could always count on his aggression.

"Since most of you hail from crews that were almost decimated in the storm I'll still have to split up this group over the two frigates. Captain Adane has chosen to leave it up to me to decide who will command the other ship" Llorrin announced. Irewyth looked up, suddenly interested. For once, it wasn't so hard to guess what she was thinking. This was the part he'd been waiting for.

"Chuth, you're the most experienced sailor of all of us. I'm giving you command" he said. Llorrin did his best not to laugh at the sight of Irewyth's face. He didn't know who looked the more surprised, Chuth or Irewyth. If looks could kill Ireywyth's eyes would have frozen Llorrin and shattered him into a million pieces on the spot.

It was about to get even better.

"Carekon will stay at my side to provide me with sagely advice" he continued undisturbed.

The chaplain nodded thankfully. "I will do my best."

"Irewyth and Wheann, you will join Chuth's crew" Llorrin continued, a small smirk slipping onto his face. Though by now she was trying hard not to show it, he could tell the hydromancess was boiling with rage at the notion of being put below Chuth, whom she despised.

"I'm also making Jeredan my second in command on this ship" Llorrin finally concluded. It had been a tough decision to either keep Jeredan separated from Chuth, whose dwarf blood might put him off, or leave the crusader on the Lady Irewyth, where he probably couldn't trust him to stay away from Elduin. Llorrin had finally decided that if he was going to keep the restless warrior anywhere, he'd rather keep him close where he could see him.

"Chuth, you can pick your own crew. Take half of the remaining men. Now, get moving everyone. We have a war to win!"

A couple more men cheered this time.

I'm making progress Llorrin thought, smiling inwardly as he turned away.

That was the sign for everyone to go about their business. Chuth started picking out his men with the cocksureness of a general who has won a hundred battles while some of the men closest to him appeared to suddenly have urgent business elsewhere. Before Llorrin could go anywhere Carekon put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"You asked me to be your advisor" the chaplain said.

Llorrin nodded hesitantly.

"Then allow me to share some wisdom. Loyal followers make good followers. Disloyal ones do not."

The chaplain left the quarterdeck, leaving Llorrin confused and alone. With Carekon, it was always hard for him to figure out whether or not there'd been something behind his words, or not. He finally chose to shrug it off, feeling he'd done really well so far. Llorrin not only trusted Chuth to do a good job, he'd also ensured he could count on the sniper when the time came.

The rest of the fleet was still preparing and breaking up the camp as Llorrin's two frigates started their journey North. He'd been told all traces of Adane's Hold would be erased, as it carried no further purpose to the fleet. The wind was in their favour, and the frigates were as fast as Adane had promised. Soon, the rest of the ships were just specks on the horizon.
Clear skies above as Llorrin's unit prepares to set off, but there may be a storm looming on the horizon...

To read on: fav.me/d5ocin2

Gallery: teano.deviantart.com/gallery/3...

Summary: Llorrin's frigates prepare for their journey to Tiragarde. He gives command of the second frigate to Chuth and, in a way of getting back at her, places Irewyth under his command, knowing they despise each other. Carekon warns Llorrin this might not have been the best move he ever made.
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Pedigri's avatar
Didn't I mention this...? Apparently not. Oh well... In the sentence "At least that didn't surprise him" you could italicize "that". I'm instinctively putting stress on "at least" or reading it without any stress at all, which makes it sound weird.

Uh... Llorrin guessed that... Llorrin. It makes it seem there were two Llorrins. Maybe you could replace it with "his captain" (well, he didn't know if he'd become his captain yet, but you get the drift). Even "he" or "his" could work, because it's obvious that it isn't Wheann who'll give a speech.

The "doorstep" variation works nicely. "Doorstep" is a perfectly short, melodic, shoutworthy word.
The changes you made are good.