(NorwayXReader): [Oneshot] Contest Entry~

Winter Love




"Yes, finally!!!"

You whooped in triumph as you look at your completed gift happily.

It was a medium-sized jar, with cotton covering the base, a hand-carved snowflake that you painstakingly carved from a piece of aquamarine-colored gemstone that had been in your possession for a long time, a gift from your grandma to be precise. She said that as long as you used it to make someone happy, she was alright with whatever you did with it. It took you a month to carve that snowflake because you didn't want to make any mistakes, and also because you were afraid of making a mess out of it instead. You only had one gemstone after all...and it wasn't cheap. It was not only way out of your budget, it also held sentimental value. In the jar, also contained some small paper stars that you also tried really hard to make (the smaller the star, the harder to make), that hung from a few strands of thread that were white in color, and varied in length. Using effort, and a needle, you poked a few holes in the cover and attached the string to it. With watercolor and your trusty paintbrush, you painted the inside with wintry details, and the jar was complete. It looked like a winter wonderland, and would make anyone who looked at it feel cold, yet be able to admire its beauty. Time taken? Roughly 3 months to be precise.

Picking a blue wrapping paper with Puffin bird designs, you placed the jar in a box carefully in styrofoam, and wrapped the whole thing up, adding a rose ribbon on top. Then, wrapping it all up securely in brown wrapping paper while filling up a form for an overseas delivery, you delivered it, and imagined a happy Emil in Iceland. It wasn't for his birthday though...something like a friendship item to be precise. You had a sad smile, as the doctor entered the room. Handing the package to a nearby nurse as he came up to check on you, you wondered...

"I wonder if I'll live long enough to meet him..one last time.."





~Somewhere where Norway lives~




A brown package had made it's way to Lukas' house. He had brought it to his room (everyone else had gone out) and proceeded to open it. It never crossed his mind that it was for someone else...he had forgotten about that for a moment. Opening it, the wrapping paper would have been a dead giveaway, but he still continued to open it.

After completely taking out the jar from the box, he had to admire the jar. His eyes sparkled in admiration for a moment, wondering who had taken so much time, the person's painfully earnest endeavor for the receiver would not go unnoticed. Provided that it was actually for him or not. He just realized that it might not be for him as he glanced at the wrapping paper. Reading the letter, it confirmed his suspicions. It wasn't for him after all.



Dear Emil,



It's me, (Name). It's been a while since I last met you. 8 months or so to be exact. Send my regards to your brother...who I might not get to know. Wait ignore that, I'm just babbling. My disease is getting better, the doctors say. I might be able to walk out of the hospital by the end of the next year! Awesome, right?

Anyways, hope to see you soon. I can't wait! But please don't get distraught by my appearance...sitting on a hospital bed does not do good to my hair.

Sincerely,
(Name)



Now, he was sure that the package, in fact, was for Emil, and not for him. But..he wouldn't miss this ONE present from you, would he? Emil didn't know that Lukas knew about the presents he secretly kept in the cupboard from everyone else, obviously very shy about them. So Lukas got rid of the 'evidence' from the mess he made opening your present, and kept the jar for himself. After making sure no one was around, he actually replied to your letter, although he felt it was quite odd. But he had to write a reply with an apology, right? He did open something that wasn't for him...



Dear (Name),



First off, I want to apologize. I'm not Emil. I'm his brother, who you will get to know now. I didn't know who this present was for, so I opened it without a second thought. I want to apologize for that. And also I admire your effort to make that gift. It's beautiful. And honestly, I do not know about your disease. Emil did not mention it. If you don't mind, could you tell me what disease you have?


Lukas



No 'Sincerely' or 'your friend' for Lukas. He felt that this letter wasn't as sincere as he thought, and 'your friend' wouldn't fit...he technically wasn't your friend...yet. And so, as he sent the letter, he hoped you wouldn't be mad at him.




~In the Room you stay~




A letter had arrived for you, and you were excited at the thought of Emil's reply. What would he reply? Would he like my gift? you thought. Would he...believe me? With that crossed out sentence, he would definitely be suspicious...But you were too busy being surprised by the reply..by Emil's BROTHER. You were kind of relieved though...at least this one didn't catch on....



Dear Lukas,



It's okay. Hey, something good came out of it, I got to know you, right? Anyways, I have Leukemia. It's nothing serious...I'm getting better. Anyways, tell me more about yourself. How's life like? And how is Emil doing? What about the others?

And uhm, if you could, would you visit me?


Sincerely,
(Name)



And so, both you and Lukas wrote back and forth..and that was what made you fight to stay alive. But you had to face the truth and tell him. Him and Emil. You weren't actually going to be able to get out of the hospital anytime soon...or anytime at all. Another strenuous 4 months of fighting your disease, there was one particular day...when Lukas came.

No warning. He just stepped into the room, and lightly shook you by your shoulders. He seemed...angry.

"Don't lie, (Name). Your condition is not as rosy as you make it seem."

After what seemed like an endless time of silence, you finally spoke up, eyes glistening with tears.

"..Don't tell Emil. Please, Lukas."




~After 9 months...~



It was clear outside. There weren't any clouds to be seen, and it was another day...with Lukas beside you.

Unbeknownst to Emil, Lukas had literally left home to stay with you. He requested to stay in the same room as you, to take care of you, he said. Your family lived faraway, and after some convincing, the doctors agreed...since...

...you were dying.

But you never let on. You still frequently sent letters to Emil, with him talking about how perplexed he was about Lukas' disappearance. Lukas insisted that you hide his real whereabouts. You never pressured him on telling Emil, because you were still grateful that you had someone to spend time with. It had been so lonely, before he came. He sat beside your bed, talking to you. When you were sleeping, he was reading a book, or staring out the window. And when the doctors weren't in, he slept beside you, holding you tightly.

In the past few months that Lukas stayed with you, of course...there was bound to be some romance.




~In the Past Few Months (About 5 months)~




"Promise me, you won't tell Emil. Please, Lukas."

He wasn't so sure. He didn't like to keep really serious secrets from Emil if he could...

"It..isn't just Leukemia, Lukas...I have Immunodeficiency too..you know..my body's ability to fight diseases is...not there..it had been caused by the Leukemia..and my Leukemia isn't the less serious types..it's the really serious one, it's ALL, or Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia...if it hadn't been for the treatments I would've died so long ago, Lukas..."

Lukas just stared at you with a passive expression, prompting you to continue what you didn't really want to say at all. A single tear of grief leaked and slowly traveled down your cheek, and a few other drops followed, gradually making the stain on the sheets larger. Sobs wracked your entire body as you struggled to put the words out.

"..I..I'm dying..Lukas...and..I..I feel so alone...I'm going to die alone...but..I don't want Emil to know...Oh my god, Lukas...I.."

Strong arms gently wrapped around you, trying to assure you that everything was okay. You cried non-stop for about 3 hours, and even the doctor who wanted to check on you left because he didn't want to upset you further. You had been strong, always holding back the tears that so badly wanted to escape from the dam of your eyes. Smiling, to hide the heartbreaking reality of your life. And nothing could stop the torrent of your tears from soaking Lukas' shirt.

Throughout the entire ordeal, he whispered sweet nothings into your ears, and held you tightly, even though you hugged him so tight he could have suffered from asphyxiation if he made a wrong move. The silence that followed after you finished crying was unbearable for him. For a short few moments he actually panicked, and wondered if you had actually passed on in his arms. As romantic as it sounded, he didn't really want that. But you had only fallen asleep in his arms, savoring the moment. He sighed in relief, and gently put you back in bed, brushing strands of hair out of your face, thinking how you had seemed so...angelic. You didn't notice though.

There was once, where after a nurse had done her routine (mainly switching the bags of medicine that was flowing into your veins), she hadn't noticed that the line connecting the needle to the bag was wound around the thermos containing hot water. As Lukas was talking to you (you were doing most of the talking actually), you reached out to grab the thermos, and the line snagged onto it. You had poured water into a cup and as you brought the cup to your lips, the line had tightened enough to make the thermos topple, splashing hot water on your arm. You hissed in pain. Cursing in Norwegian, he immediately grabbed some supplies and quickly treated your slight burn. He didn't really reprimand you though..it wasn't entirely your fault either.

But the main point here was; it was small acts like that, that eventually made you fall for him, and vice versa.

Another time, for some reason you had made him mad; you didn't remember why, but he stormed out of the room, as you sadly looked out the window, what you usually did when you weren't exactly in a happy-go-lucky mood. You cringed every time his footsteps got softer; you felt like he was fading away...from you.

All of a sudden, there was a crash. Surprised, you looked out, fearing the worst. What if it was Lukas in that crash? Clutching the IV stand, you ran outside, heart pounding with every step as you made it closer to the crash sight. You almost fell a few times, either tripping on your own feet or almost crashing into your own IV stand. As you got nearer, you could hear all sorts of things, like He must be dead... or Can we save him?. You actually thought that Lukas had died. As you were about to collapse on the floor to cry, you heard that voice calling you, snapping you out of your sad trance. Lukas was right behind you, and he seemed very annoyed. You were relieved that he wasn't involved with the crash, but you were embarrassed. Your face was beet red as he dragged you to your room, softly but angrily scolding you for running out like that, releasing his anger on you for doing something so reckless. What if the needle came out of your arm from the IV stand? What would you do then? What if you fell and that thing impaled you.. and on and on he went.

You were secretly pleased though..he had cared about you..didn't he? But then a pang of sadness hit you. When would he leave? No, more importantly..why was he staying with you in the first place?

"Lukas..."

"And what would you do if..."

"Lukas..."

"And that's not the worst you know what could happen..."

"LUKAS!!!"

He stopped scolding you, and stared at you. Then only did the both of you realize that you were already in your room. He stared at you, and you stared at him.

"Lukas, why are you staying with me? Why do you care so much about me? And, what are you doing here?"

He just looked you straight into your eyes, and said,

"...Because I care for Emil."

You didn't prod any further though...it was like a knife being THROWN into your heart, then slicing your heart to pieces.

So it was only for Emil....

There were a few small gestures now and then that didn't go unnoticed, that slowly erased that doubt, except you weren't wholly sure. But there was this one, special moment, where he proved that he in fact, did everything, solely for you.

When you were stressed from the medication sometimes, he would put his hand over your eyes, another on your cheek, and just sit there in silence. The darkness was calming, the touch, warming. Sometimes he would actually let his lips brush against your forehead when you were sleeping; when he thought you were asleep and wouldn't notice.

But the main event, was when he kissed you.

No, it wasn't really special. You had broken down again, frustrated and livid. You cared about him far too much to want to die...and he just kissed you, right there and then. Trying to calm you, as you hit his chest repeatedly. He took the pain, and embraced you tightly. Your eyes widened as his cold lips met yours, as the slight lighting from the windows made both of you glow. And, he told you, he finally told you, that he loved you. What he said next, literally made you want to cry.

"If I ever had a wish, that allowed me to either switch places with you and let me bear the pain, or to let you die peacefully, I would rather...let you die peacefully." He said, continuing and ignoring the shock on your face.

"..Because, from what I believe, when you die, you're not going to feel anything. You won't miss me, you won't bear the pain of losing me, and most of all, you will be free from all those negative feelings you have been feeling for so long."

Tears had collected at his eyes, threatening to fall over the edge, as he finished.

"So, let me live on...and bear the pain of losing you, (Name). Let me, feel the pain that you felt during that time. Let me understand you wholly, as I feel you understand my pain as well."

As a single, lone tear dripped onto your hand, your eyes filled with tears as well, as you held him tightly, and telling him, how much you've grown to love him..as much as he loved you.




~Present~




Lukas gripped your hand tightly, as both of you watched the stars that night. The bouquet of flowers beside your bed had started to wilt, a few petals scattered around the vase. He was holding your hand, and the other was around your shoulders as he sat beside you, head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. All was quiet.

And then, a shooting star.

He silently wished that you would live another day...but then...he didn't.

As you drifted off to sleep, him a little later, he wondered if his wish would come true. And it did.

You never woke up again.




~2 months later~




The news had been hard to break to Emil. But Lukas had only said that she didn't want him to worry so she never told him, and Emil said he was okay with that. When asked where he disappeared to, he kept quiet. And when Emil asked him how he knew about (Name), he replied that it was because he loved her.

Nobody else, save for Emil, knew about the brief, but lasting relationship between Lukas and (Name). And that was how Lukas intended it to be. And true to his word, the minute you died, it was as if all the pain had been lifted from your heart...into his. The pain he felt was overwhelming, but he went through it. He wanted it. To understand you, and to be able to still love you through all that.

The only reminder of you that he could keep, was the memories he shared with you, the days he told you he loved you, and...

...that jar. Which had been made for Emil, but somehow had gotten into Lukas' hands. Fate? Maybe. All he knew was, both of you were grateful for whatever had happened. He would go through it again if he had to.

Who knows? Someday, he might love again...he might find someone like you. No one could replace you...you would always be number one. His first. But he had a life ahead of him, and a ghost of a smile appeared from his lips, and quickly disappeared. He knew you had seen his smile.

As he left your grave and headed back to his country...and to never return to the country where your grave and memories lay, the last petal of the wilted rose fell onto ground.





"Let me live on...and bear the pain of losing you. Let me feel the pain that you felt, and let me understand you wholly, as I feel you understand me as well."