literature

The Wolf on the Hill

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alphabetsoup314

Published: Aug 1, 2013

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Literature Text

In a little old house on a little old hill,

With the dead black trees and eerie chill,

They say there lived a monstrous wolf pup

That huffed, and puffed, then gobbled kids up.

Three little boys, how brave they were!

No big bad wolf, no horrible cur,

Could ever scare them, no, not today!

With a huff, and a puff, they made their way.

The first little boy, shaking like straws,

The gaping darkness gave him pause;

The boy's knees bent, his courage swayed;

So with a huff, and a puff, he flew away.

The second little boy wanted his kicks,

Throwing tough words and throwing big sticks,

But thinking he heard a horrid wail,

With a huff, and a puff, he turned his tail.

The third little boy, though things looked grim,

He stilled the quivers of his chinny chin chin;

Feet planted firm as a big brick wall,

With a huff, and a puff, he stood up tall.

And, alas! He found nothing there;

Just an old kitty cat with greying hair.

Seeing there was nothing to be scared about,

With a huff, and a puff, he laughed out loud.

UPDATE: Revised version here: alphabetsoup314.deviantart.com…

You may still comment on this if you like, but I would prefer it if you read the new one.

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A response to

's prompt:
Rework an old fable or fairytale into the modern world. No magic. No deus ex machina.

The fairytale that stood out the most in my childhood memories was The Three Little Pigs. Except that no magic means no talking animals.

So I worked around the lines that stuck in my memory:
"Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"
"Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin!"
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"

Here, the 'little pigs' are the aggressor rather than the 'wolf', but the end result is the same: the third protagonist is the one that triumphs, through strength of character.

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I dunno if this is required for prompts, but here's a recent critique: comments.deviantart.com/1/3493…

Feedback questions:

Ugh, I struggle with fixed forms with rhyme and rhythm. Are there any spots where the rhythm gets awkward? (Keep in mind that I usually write haiku, and have only a vague understanding of poetic concepts of rhythm. However, I do understand music, so I can tell you that it's supposed to be a four-count beat on every line)

Were the connections to the original story apparent, yet fitting? Or too heavy-handed and cliche? Did I rely on phrases or imagery that vary wildly between different tellings of the tale?

Feel free to comment on/pick at anything else.