A Life Underwater

Chapter 1: One Thing but Another

The fishes went around and around the outside of the lamp. Robin watched them, pointing out the different ones to his sister.

“See Terry!” he said, “Daddy says that one’s a dolphin, which isn’t really a fish. How can something look like one thing and be another?”

“I don’t know.” Terry was on the top bunk in her spaceship jammies, looking through a story book.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” said Robin. “They live in the sea, and have fins like a fish but they aren’t.”

“Sharks are fish,” said Terry.

“Yeah,” said Robin, “but they don’t count.”



Chapter 2: A Story That Isn’t True

Robin always picked the same book for story time. He’d climb onto the shelf and pull it out, Terry would roll her eyes. Robin’s mother never complained though.

Robin liked the story, because in the story there was another one, one that wasn’t true at all.

Mother took the book in her hands and cracked open the cover. “Once upon a time…” she said.

“No!” said Robin, flipping the pages until he found the right one. “Don’t start at the beginning, start at the good bit, you know, the real story.”

“Okay,” said his mother, and began again.



Chapter 3: You Be the Princess

“What do you think?” asked Terry. She swivelled in front of the mirror, trying to get the best view.

“I like it,” said Robin. They had traded Halloween costumes. Terry dressed up as a knight, Robin as a princess. The dress was loose in the front. Terry said it was because she had hit something called ‘puberty’. Robin’s costume was too tight on Terry but she has squeezed into it anyways and buckled the plastic sword around her hip.

“Mom won’t let us go out like this,” said Terry.

“I know,” said Robin. “But I wish she would.”



Chapter 4: Birthday Cake

Robin stared at the children in the living room. They all had party hats and were smiling at him. They sang happy birthday; Robin didn’t understand it. While they were busy eating cake Robin pulled his mother aside.

“Mom,” he said, “None of the people I invited are here.”

His mother nodded, “I know, but you can’t invite girls to your birthday party. You’re turning twelve! It’s about time you started socializing with boys your own age. Besides, your sister is here.”

His mother pointed to Terry, who was having a burping contest.

“Yeah,” said Robin, “but she doesn’t count.”



Chapter 5: The Best Medicine

The blood matched the colour Robin had painted his nails. He wiped it from his face, but he knew better than to stand up. The other boys spit on him. “Faggot.”

Robin didn’t look up. He knew this would pass, it has passed all the other times. At least, this time, no one was kicking him.

He didn’t cry, he didn’t say anything and soon they left, bored. Once they were gone he stood up. The blood didn’t taste so bad anymore. Robin didn’t know why that made him laugh. He laughed and laughed and then he cried.




Chapter 6: Atlas

His parents were yelling again, so Robin went down to the basement. It was Terry’s room; it had been for years, since their father said she was too old for bunk beds. Robin hardly ever saw her anymore.

He sat on the end of the bed and watched her read for a bit, the fish on the lamp next to her, chasing each other in circles. It was quiet.

“If I told you I was Atlas, would you understand?” she asked. Robin just stared at her. Terry shook her head.

“Dumb fuck.”  But she smiled when she said it.



Chapter 7: Outlier

He was watching t.v on the couch when his mother came in, holding up a Cosmo magazine. “Look what your father found under your bed. I told you to throw these out! It’s not right.”

Robin didn’t look at her. He just focused on the t.v. That didn’t stop his mother. “Flunking school, getting into fights with the neighbourhood kids, and now this? Tell me you’re testing me!”

He kept silent, clenching his jaw, watching the screen out of spite rather than interest.

“Robin! Look at me!” Robin dragged his eyes to hers as slowly as possible.

“This stops now.” she shook the magazine for emphasis.

She sighed, “Why can’t you just be normal?”



Chapter 8: Broken

“You’re not old enough to decide to live with your father.” said his mother. She stood with one hand on her hips as she stirred a pot of chilli.

“You never let me do anything!” protested Robin. “You didn’t tell Terry she couldn’t!”

“Terry,” his mother snapped, “has gotten a job and moved out to help support us, to help support you.”

“She moved out because she hates it here!” Robin yelled, “So do I!”



Chapter 9: Faces of Strangers

When he saw Terry  again, she didn’t look like herself, she looked like a man. “I’m not paying bail a second time,” she said. “I can’t believe you.”  

Robin shrugged, hunching his shoulders up around his ears.

“Mom kicked me out.” he said. “Can I crash at your place?”

Terry sighed, her hands shoved deep in the pockets of a coat that was much too big for her.

“Jesus, Robin.” she said.

“Please, I don’t have anywhere else to go.” He watched her think it over. She looked old, older than she should.

In the end she just shook her head and walked away.  “No, I can’t do this anymore.”



Chapter 10: Evolution

The woman who sat across from him chewed gum like a cow. “I don’t know how you smile so much,” she said.

Robin grinned at her, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, whenever anyone insults you, you just smile.” The gum snapped between her teeth. “Doesn’t that stuff bother you?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, and winked at her, “hard to be bothered, when you’re perfect.

She laughed at that, Robin couldn’t decide if she was wearing too much lipstick. Something caught her eye and she stopped.

“What’s that?” she asked, pointing to his necklace.

“Oh,” said Robin, “it’s a dolphin.”