PMD-Unity Interview: Team Satin

Roland the Togetic       Kit the Duskull*


Describe yourself in one sentence.

. . .and one order of orans, okay? You can take those up to Room 249. Thanks, sweetie. Okay, first question. . .Wait, are we rolling already? Well, it’s only the first question - Just take it from the top. . .Limited supply? Look, give me that - Hey, let go! All right, all right, I’ll stay over here. Sheesh. . .

Pretty much the only person who’s actually trying to keep our planet from becoming a gray and smoky wasteland.


What do you think is your best quality?

What’s not to love? I’m dead serious. Do you see something wrong with me that I can correct? What about these feathers back here? I just preened them a few minutes ago, but you never know. . .

I have really good ideas. Then I get Roland to make them a reality.


If you were able to change any of your traits, what would it be?

I’m perfection, baby. But if I were to remake myself (As if I’d need to) then I’d give myself waterproof wings.

“Love thyself” - that’s what I say. I can’t change my traits, so I won’t bother making a list. Wouldn’t want to, anyway.


Now describe your teammates in one sentence each.

She (I think she’s a she?) is a really awful kisser, and I try to avoid her and all that “Save the planet” junk if I can help it. I mean, the girl’s a downer with a capital H! Just look at her!

Does that skirt-chasing doofus know I can hear him through that wall?


Do you think you make friends easily?

It’s not so hard if you’ve studied how people tick as long as I have.

I don’t form real strong bonds with people. They move on too quickly. Just take it slow for once, homies.


Are you content with your life in general?

Absolutely. Life is a lot easier when you’re beautiful.

Not gonna lie: My afterlife is pretty chill.


What are you feelings about your family?

Aw, let’s not ruin a perfectly nice interview with downer questions like these. Any sweetheart of mine could be considered my family.

What, all of them?


How were you educated?

Janna taught me anything I’d ever need to know about reading people, body language, flirts and kissin’ - You know, the works. Miri tried teaching me how to read words once, but that didn’t last long.

I’m a self-taught ghost these days. Was part of the Guilds way back when, though. At least I think I was. Went AWOL for awhile, and if this is the same place I remember from back then, it sure has changed.


What is your favorite hobby?

Women ~

Planting trees. I just got an entire crate of seeds and things from the Researchers Guild - Can you believe it? I’m documented down as a Hunter, but that doesn’t mean anything to me, and they don’t seem to mind it either. They’re entrusting me with spreading them out around the fog and dungeons and things. My carthorse Rollie here can help me out with that.


What career do you hope to pursue in the future?

A relationship counselor. Why are you laughing? It’s a perfectly respectable job!

I’m already an environmentalist. Ain’t much more to it than that. Maybe I could do some awareness-raising now that I’ve made it back to the Guilds. . .that could be good. That could be good.


What sort of religion do you belong to, if any?

One that would let me live with as many lovely ladies as I’d want for the rest of eternity.

I don’t believe in that kind of junk. Just in, you know. . .Becoming a Ghost.


How good is your sense of direction?

Flawless, like the rest of me - Especially from above. That Fog, though. . .

If I didn’t know my way around by now, there would be a problem.


As of now, what do you think is your greatest regret?

I can’t think of a single one.

Regrets are overrated; I don’t have any. My biggest mistake ended up leading to a sweet afterlife.


Describe the strangest dream you’ve ever had.

I don’t usually remember my sleeping dreams, but when I’m flying above the clouds, or when I’ve got my sights set on a pretty lady, I swear I’m living the dream in reality.

I don’t really feel the need to sleep any more - Once a month about does it for me, but it’s always dreamless. I have a few memories from around the time I died, though - hallucinations and things.


What is something you do that others may consider odd?

Yes.

I can phase through walls. Only flaw with this is that my scarf can’t do it too. Ah, well.


How often have you seen your grandparents?

Lost ‘em with the rest of the flock. I was pretty ticked about that. I mean, my grandma’s a Ditto, and they still took her!

If by grandparents you mean my siblings’ descendants, and the descendants my father had with his other mate, then the answer is a lot. There are a million of the little people running around now, specially ‘round the desert country. . .


What are some of your pet peeves?

Don’t you just hate when you flirt with that one hottie and it turns out she’s a guy? I know I can’t be the only one.

Littering. It’s like, “Hey! I just cleaned that up that pond, and the trash can’s right there! You want to spend your afterlife picking up other people’s garbage? Well, do you?” . . .It’s moments like that when I have to remind myself to just. . .chill.


In battle, would you be willing to take a hit for any of your teammates?

Who wants some sugar cookies?

Oh heck no. Pretty boy goes picking a fight, he can suck it up himself.


Do you think any of your teammates would take a hit for you?

Why wouldn’t she? I mean, just look at this body. Can’t have it getting beat up now, can we? Ladies would hate that.

I wouldn’t put my faith in him.


What physical weaknesses do you believe you have?

Just the soggy wings thing, but other than that I’m perfect.

I’ll have to go with Roland on this one. I’m wonderful.


Do you consider yourself to be a risk-taker?

. . .Isn’t everyone? How would we ever get anything done if we just stayed cooped up all the time?

I don’t need to fear risk, if that’s what you’re asking, but there isn’t much risk in saving the planet. Except the haters. Chill out, dudes.


Have you ever killed or come close to killing anyone else?

If being this hot is cause for death, lock me up! Wait, I think my voice kind of cracked there. . .Can we run that one again? . . .Well, then can we just edit it out? No? What do you mean ‘No’?

Man, just enjoy your life, okay?


What is your earliest memory?

Even when I was a Togepi, I was still smoking hot. Oh shut up, Kitty-Kat! I can hear you laughing!

Am not! Chill out, man! . . .Where were we? Memories, right. Hm. . .I think hanging out with my half-brother was nice.


Share a favorite moment from your childhood.

Testing out my wings for the first time, hee hee. I was clumsy as a one-legged Ponyta, but I always knew those babies were gonna take me far.

I used to climb up the tallest tree I could find and daydream the day away.


Can you cook?

Isn’t that a woman’s job? Eh, doesn’t matter either way - I’m not a huge fan of meat.

Don’t need to. If I get hungry I just chew on Roland’s soul for awhile. I’m telling you, a few minutes of that will make you nauseous.


What qualities would you look for in a potential mate?

Three words: Drop dead hot. _{And a good kisser. And loyal.}

If they want to be my mate, that’s good enough for me.


Do you think you work well under pressure?

You don’t get stressed when you’re living the way I do.

I’m too chill for stress.


Do you prefer to interact with large groups of people or small?

All of the ladies!

Know what would be fun? Mass tree-planting and ocean-clean-up party. This should be a thing. Why is this not a thing?


What does it take to get you smiling?

Sunny skies do the trick quite nicely.

What makes you think I don’t smile?


When was the last time you cried?

. . .Heh. Heh heh. Well, broke my wing once back when I was still not much more than a fletchling. My family left me behind when they migrated because of it. Haven’t seen ‘em since.

. . .Did I cry when I died? I probably did. . .But some pieces are fuzzier than others.


When you aren’t out on Missions or other Guild assignments, how do you like to spend your day?

Flying sky-high with a lovely lady by my side.

Saving the planet. Do you know how many sentient fish out there get eaten every year by people who think they’re feral? I’m telling you man, it’s awful.


Who do you think has been the most inspirational person in your life?

Janna. She and Miri took me in when I had no one to turn to. Plus Janna’s hot.

Inspirational people are overrated.


What do you think you might be doing ten years from now?

Still adding to my total of hot chicks I’ve slept with.

Ten years closer to completing my purpose in life. Or I would be if some people would stop undoing all my hard work!


If you had to choose who to marry right here and now, who would it be?

Who wouldn’t want to marry me? Look at this - I’m gorgeous!

Marry being taking a permanent mate ‘til death do we part, yes? In that sense, I suppose I’d want a ‘mon who could deal with me being around for all eternity. I can’t see me getting so attached to someone that I’d want to stalk them forever, though.


What is one motto that you think you live your life by?

Your troubles seem a lot less like troubles when you’re a thousand feet above.

Dude, just chill.