DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be taken as "rules" to constrict friendships. These are merely guidelines from my own observations for healthy relationships. Friends will make mistakes and friends will fight, this does not make your friends bad people.
Friends Should: Understand that life and other things get in the way sometimes.
Friends Should: Understand that life and other things get in the way sometimes.
Friends Shouldn't: Expect you to pay a certain amount of specific attention to them consistently despite what's going on in your life.
Friends Should: Always pick up right where they left off whether it's been days, weeks, months, or years.
Friends Shouldn't: Give you a hard time about not talking to them when they didn't even bother to tell you they were upset about it until they exploded from bottling it up.
Friends Should: Be honest and trust each other.
Friends Shouldn't: Withhold feelings and question you constantly.
Friends Should: Make efforts to fix their own problems and ask for your help if they need it.
Friends Shouldn't: Expect you to fix their problems without making any effort to change themselves.
Friends Should: Understand it isn't your fault when they get jealous.
Friends Shouldn't: Get angry at you when they get jealous.
Friends Should: Talk it out if they get upset with you letting you know what you did to upset them.
Friends Shouldn't: Lash out when they're upset with you when they didn't tell you what you were doing wrong in the first place.
Friends Should: Accept blame when they're in the wrong.
Friends Shouldn't: Victimize themselves no matter the situation.
Friends Should: Listen to your side of the story and acknowledge(not always agree with) your feelings, even if they think you're wrong.
Friends Shouldn't: Ignore your side of the story and devaluate anything you have to say.
Friends Should: Know your boundaries and respect them.
Friends Shouldn't: Be unaware of your boundaries and push them constantly.
Friends Should: Do you favors for you because they care.
Friends Shouldn't: Do you favors for you so they can use them later to guilt-trip you.
Friends Should: Respect your choices even if they don't like them.
Friends Shouldn't: Make you feel bad about your choices and expect you to change for them.
Friends Should: Understand if a certain action or topic makes you uncomfortable, and not bring it up.
Friends Shouldn't: Make fun of you or make you feel bad for being uncomfortable with an action or topic, and bring it up despite knowing it bothers you.
Friends Should: Give you space if you've told them you need a break after a fight.
Friends Shouldn't: Continue to talk to you and pretend the fight never happened after you told them to leave you alone.
Friends Should: Listen when you confront them with a problem.
Friends Shouldn't: Explode and blame you when you try to reason with them.
Friends Should: Do you favors for you because they care.
Friends Shouldn't: Do you favors for you so they can use them later to guilt-trip you.
Friends Should: Respect your choices even if they don't like them.
Friends Shouldn't: Make you feel bad about your choices and expect you to change for them.
Friends Should: Understand if a certain action or topic makes you uncomfortable, and not bring it up.
Friends Shouldn't: Make fun of you or make you feel bad for being uncomfortable with an action or topic, and bring it up despite knowing it bothers you.
Friends Should: Give you space if you've told them you need a break after a fight.
Friends Shouldn't: Continue to talk to you and pretend the fight never happened after you told them to leave you alone.
Friends Should: Listen when you confront them with a problem.
Friends Shouldn't: Explode and blame you when you try to reason with them.
Friends Should: Be understanding and compassionate.
Friends Shouldn't: Be judgmental and self-absorbed.
Friends: Are all are different. We all have our problems, our scars, our insecurities, however we should not allow these things to take over and destroy friendships. Be humble, be compassionate, and be honest with each other. That's what friends should do.
Tumblr post I made I thought would be worth posting here too.
Post on tumblr: cudsandhugs.tumblr.com/post/81…
Wanted to post this here as well, as it kind of goes along with my emotional manipulation and toxic relationship journals, this is sort of a summary in a way of those journals, using some more simpler phrases and putting it into simpler terms. I hope this helps some of you. <3
EDIT: If friends you currently have line up with any of the "Friends Shouldn't" qualities, don't give them a hard time about it. If what they're doing affects you negatively then confront them and let them know it's hurting you. Talk it out with them and help them understand what they're doing wrong, reach a conclusion between the two of you. Give them room for error, they might not get it right away. But if you've tried to explain it to them several times, you've given them more than 5 or 10 chances to correct what hurts you, and they're still making you feel bad then you should give them one final warning before going your separate ways.
Note me if you need any advice or just for someone to listen. <3
Cuddles
Tumblr post I made I thought would be worth posting here too.
Post on tumblr: cudsandhugs.tumblr.com/post/81…
Wanted to post this here as well, as it kind of goes along with my emotional manipulation and toxic relationship journals, this is sort of a summary in a way of those journals, using some more simpler phrases and putting it into simpler terms. I hope this helps some of you. <3
EDIT: If friends you currently have line up with any of the "Friends Shouldn't" qualities, don't give them a hard time about it. If what they're doing affects you negatively then confront them and let them know it's hurting you. Talk it out with them and help them understand what they're doing wrong, reach a conclusion between the two of you. Give them room for error, they might not get it right away. But if you've tried to explain it to them several times, you've given them more than 5 or 10 chances to correct what hurts you, and they're still making you feel bad then you should give them one final warning before going your separate ways.
Note me if you need any advice or just for someone to listen. <3
Cuddles
