MAGE: Theme Song Meme

~~~~~

_{All warm and worried}

_{Laughing by my side}

_{Those soft cheeks that you have}

_{Ah, how I hate them!}

With an iron collar around my neck

I can’t move at all

So I snarled at this irresponsible world

With a loud voice, “It’s a lie!”

    With warm hands, a forgiving smile, you asked me once, your brows so gently creased as your lips were curved- “Are you alright?” Am I alright?
    A smooth motion, and you pressed your hand to your chest. “You can trust me.” Such a lovely smile you had, such eager eyes. “From here- I promise!”
    I remember, in that suffocating atmosphere, with the pressure of the chains around my neck forbidding me, me, to speak, I watched you with my own dull gaze. Deadened eyes- while I responded simply with a snarl, a retort, the most bitter of loathing my words could carry, for my heart raged so terribly while my eyes spoke none. “Don’t lie to me.”
    Your laugh seemed to ring, soft as bells, encompassing me like the shattering glass I most feared.
    And God, how I hated it.

My friend’s friend was eaten!

What imprudence, imprudence they say

Where seem to be no immediate effects, I hear

Such ambiguity, mister big-wig!

The cheers won’t color

The alarms won’t stop ringing

Because i can’t affirm myself at all...

    “Can’t go on, she says.” The grandeur of her being was overwhelming, her head held high in knowing and power. “Weak. She’s weak, and that’s her mistake. Such imprudence.” A honeyed laugh, grating, friction- yet I nod. Eaten, like the rest! You’re awfully ambiguous, Miss.
“Yes, Miss.” As if I understood- that’s all she wants. “Her mistake. Imprudence.” Happy?
    Ridiculous- the words are there, behind closed lips. I nod again. That’s all she wants.
    With that look she looks at me- in my chest I feel that buzz: hope? That maybe those eyes, because that’s all she wants… She smiles. “Yes, love. You understand well.” A fluff of her dress, she nods.
    “Very good. Good girl.”
    I smile in return with no color- the alarms in my head ringing, yet all I want…
    Those eyes never smiled. That’s all I want.
    I never got it.

Though everyone laughs at me

With faces like dud shells

Why are you crying by my side?

    You stepped out of line once, I remember that. Your skirts soaked in red punch, your head held high regardless: you had looked at them defiantly, that look of yours, and I could only bow my head.
An apology from my lips- yours remained set in a line. The man’s eyebrow raised and the woman covered a scoff- he gave a scolding, and she seemed satisfied enough.
    You refused: so I moved instead for you. Pride took hold of my tongue- after all, aren’t children quite silly? She’s quite silly. I bow to my performance, they laugh along, that same crowd of every day I’ve rehearsed so well for. All’s well for us, perhaps, all’s well for they are satisfied, though my pride wavers in the end.
    I look to the side, to you who stood so tall, so indignant.
    So strong.
    Your eyes were crying.
    My own heart faltered: you’re so silly.
    I’m so silly.

_{The wolf is coming!}

_{We’ll be eaten, the sheep, me you, this town}

_{The wolf is coming!}

_{I need to say before the lie denies the lie}

_{Before that…}

_{Before long everyone started snarling at me}

_{What imprudence, imprudence!}

_{As if it’s “something more obscure than a wolf”}

_{That was a lie.}

    You had asked me, the day we found that place so dear, so safe- “What are you afraid of? This world,” you said- “...this world is wonderful.”
    The wind carried soft murmurs, tracing the form of my arm. “That’s not true,” quivering lips trembled in that chill, “...this world is awful- people who lie, cheat, lure you in, hurt you, leave you, come back only to eat what’s left and spit you back out… that’s what the world is.” I remember everything but you- my eyes never bothered to look.
    In the silence you gazed out to sea, the sounds of bells growing louder.
    “...Then why are you here?”
    The ocean pressed down on me.
    “...People lie all the time,” my whispers were cautious. “How do you know they won’t lie to you?”
    You stared at me for a long time, your eyes so dark, so bright, filled with something I had lost so long ago, so quickly. You laughed, soft, as you leaned back into the grass.
    “...Would you lie to me?”
    The blaring of the train was the only answer the wind would carry.

_{Reality is a bit more gruesome than fiction}

_{So here, to this irresponsible world in a loud voice}

_{“it’s a lie, it’s a lie!!”}

    In this sort of world, acting larger than itself and never stopping, spinning, skirts flown over laced toes and tiled floors, a lady’s laugh carrying with it the hollow echoes of the sea- my world, perhaps in your dreams you believed it a fairy tale. The fairy tale of constantly moving, sweeping, twirling life, colors and fanciful dinners paired with something lovely. You slipped yourself in, you who stood resolute, unchanging and peaceful, the message in a bottle floating atop the sea eager to find someone who’d read. A young girl, a place of solitude, a fragile flower in a raging storm.
    My own message worn out in that storm, my glass encasing refusing to admit defeat even as the ocean water filled me up and drowned me. No one would read my message, I knew. There was no message to salvage. The raging storm inside of me- I was the storm. Moving. Spinning. Never, ever stopping.
    Yet reality was a simple life of waiting, yearning, weeping softly into pillows and paper, beaten against the raging sea while not knowing how to swim.
    I remain suffocating, still.
    Your time had changed much more quickly, for you were the water- ever changing, flowing, and picking up the sad children drowning far from shore.

_{“I’m sorry if this is awkward,” you said}

_{And put a clumsy collar around my neck}

_{An apology from you to me...}

_{The wolf is coming!}

_{We’ll be eaten, the sheep, me, you, this town}

_{The wolf is coming!}

_{We were wolves until the end weren’t we?}

    “Let me in.” My throat grew tighter. Choking- my heart wrung dry, only a hollow thumping sound left to resound about my body. “You can trust me.”
    The things I don’t remember: those words I said to you. Words of refusal, of hurt, of something vicious- among the screams in my head, I could only hear your voice. As you drew nearer, the less I heard- your voice had grown soft, the train screeched much too loudly.
    “Trust yourself. You can be strong, too.” Was I weak? No. You were weak- you were weak, and so was she, everyone- imprudence- and yet your face that day was one I could never keep while also keeping myself.

_{All warm and worried}

_{Laughing by my side}

_{Those soft cheeks that you have}

_{Ah, how I hate them!}

    A chime of a bell. Your voice. Everything- still, peaceful, a gentle breeze carrying away my short breath.
    “Are you alright?” Am I alright? Bells rang with your voice. My voice- blending with the screaming of the train as your laugh did the waves afar.
    Soft as bells. Lovely bells.
    God, how I hated it.

_{That was the first and last lie I ever told you.}