Prisoner

Illy didn’t like it here.

She had her friends, and Keet looked after them and Rafe was all snuggly and warm, and Ziya was brave as anything, but she didn't have her Momma and she didn't have her Father and she didn't get to listen to stories about Molach and she couldn't play at running because the guards didn't like it when you ran too far.

When the guards didn't like it you had to lie down and be quiet, and they didn't even care if you were crying.

Illy missed Momma more than anything, but it was scary because she wasn't sure what her Momma looked like any more. She remembered Momma’s smell, and she thought she remembered what Momma sounded like… but she didn't know any more. There were nice does here, and their babies were happy and safe and it made her think about Momma when she saw them and then she was just sadder than ever before and the nice does would tell her to stop crying and that it would be ok but they didn't understand and it made her cry even more.

She missed having milk to drink, and curling up to sleep against Momma’s belly. And she missed the creche too, because even though lots of the fawns from the creche were here it wasn't the same. None of their mothers and fathers were here, and even Keet was scared sometimes, she was sure. He had his Dad though, and Keet’s Dad was Annabelle’s dad too… but she was sure she’d never met him before, even if he was nice and he did tell them stories.

The winter had been horrible. She hoped that winter wasn't always like that, but she didn't know any different, it was the first time she’d seen one. There were storms and rain and snow and it was cold and all she could do to be warm was curl up with Rafe and Keet and Ziya.

Rafe was the best at making her feel warm.

Rafe was the best.

Sometimes, she heard the guards say things that she didn't understand, and she wondered if she should tell Keet or Ziya or even Keet’s Dad. When Keet or Ziya or one of the other clever fawns like Annabelle were around the guards didn't talk so much, but when it was just her and Rafe all cuddled together they didn't mind talking, and they’d say strange things about an Alliance and a war…

Illy remembered hearing about the war before, back when she had Momma. She remembered Momma and Father talking, and she remembered the word. She didn't know what it meant, but she thought it was bad. She thought it was something to do with why she was here, but she didn't know.

Once, she heard one of the guards say he was sad, because they had to steal babies and he thought it was wrong. The other guard had told him to shut up or he'd tell the fox. The first one had gone quiet then, and trotted off and his ears were back like he was angry.

She didn't know why the guard would tell a fox about it, or the first one would go off like that, but she liked the first guard better now. She didn't feel as scared of him as she did the others. When he was there, sometimes she didn't have to hide in Rafe’s shoulder. Sometimes she smiled at him, and then he looked sad, but he smiled back, even though he wasn't happy.

Even with the nice guard who looked sad, and Keet who was clever and strong, and Ziya who was as brave as anything, and Rafe who was the best…

Even with everything, Illy didn't like it here.