Not Alone (Oden and Impala)

Oden was trotting briskly through the woods, heading towards the Main Camp. There was a light flurrying of snow and the snowflakes were fluttering around him and sticking to his coat, covering his black and gray markings well, as he weaved through the trees. It had been a number of days since he had dropped Impala off at the Healer Den. She had been so badly wounded by Stallion that he wanted to give her some time to rest and heal up before he went back to visit her and see how she was doing.

Soon enough he emerged from the woods into the Main Camp clearing. He spotted the Healers Den and padded up to it, stopping in the entrance. His figure cast a shadow over the figure laying in the den and he cocked his head to the side. “Hello? Impala?” He hoped she was well enough now for a visitor.


Impala flicked her ear as a shadow fell over her, blocking the pale light of the cloud covered sky that filtered through the bare trees and reflected from the snow. The weather had been bleary ever since Impala’s return. It seemed appropriate, she thought. Whitewall was dead. The world had lost a great soul, the pack had lost a great warrior, and she had lost her best friend.

So much had gone unsaid between them. Although they had never exchanged the most important words, Impala had been expecting him to propose soon, since they had so clearly been in love. But over the past few months he had been so busy, and she had become anxious in waiting. She could not even find him before she had to go to Blutwald. It had been so long since she had spoken to him… she felt as if she had never even said goodbye… she let out a sigh, her golden amber eyes dull as they rested on the ground.

”Hello? Impala?” It was only then when Impala remembered the shadow that had fallen over her, and it occurred to her that the shadow probably belonged to someone. Quite likely someone who wanted to see her. She glanced up, lifting her head slightly to examine the visitor. She met the bright yellow eyes of Oden and a small smile curved on her muzzle. ”Oh… Oden.” she said, her voice a little raspy from lack of use. ”How are you?” she asked softly. She still felt a good deal of gratitude for the white and gray male. It was because of him that she had made it home at all. Moving her jaws caused the pain to burn against her cheek and she quickly shifted her face to hide her injured side. Her wounds were still fresh and healing and covered up with herbs, held in place by sticky resin. But still… she was already self conscious.


As Impala acknowledged him, he made his way into the den. He sat down beside her, glancing at her injuries to see how they were healing but they were covered with herbs so he couldn’t tell exactly.

“Nevermind how I am, how are you?” Oden’s brows furrowed with concern for his friend as he otherwise sat still as a statue. He knew that she now knew of Whitewall’s passing and having dealt with great losses in his own life of loved ones, he knew it wasn’t easy to go through. He imagined that this was probably doubly true on top of her healing. He stared at Impala intently, awaiting her response.


Impala’s weak smile faded at his question. His gaze was serious and concerned and he sat close to her, waiting attentively for her response. Her golden amber eyes dropped to the ground. She was silent for a moment, not really sure how to answer. There was the true answer. Awful. But what would Oden be able to do? He could not bring Whitewall back to her. He could not heal her wounds. He could not erase her memory and make all the flash backs and night terrors go away. To plague him with a narrative of her situation seemed pointless to her.

Finally she managed a shrug. ”...okay.” she said quietly. She didn’t like this questioning because she really liked Oden and she wanted him to visit her. How likely would he be to come back if she let herself fall apart right before his paws? She knew that if she only acted sad and hopeless all the time then no one would come visit her, and she depended so heavily on the visits from her pack mates these long days. She hid her true condition from them and tried to be as pleasant as possible, keeping her true grieving for when she was alone or in the dark blanket of the night, often while going for long walks through the territory near the den site. It was the best way to be alone, since the den site was always so full of activity.


Oden studied her for a moment before nodding solemnly. He wanted to believe her answer to his question, to know that she really was okay, but he knew she wasn’t being truthful. At least not entirely so. “I know how hard it is to lose a loved one…” Oden glanced around before looking away, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. “One of the things that helped me was to keep my mind busy.” While of course it was important to grieve, he felt it was also important not to wallow in one’s sorrows.

“What do you say we go for a stroll?” Oden looked back to her with a kind and hopeful smile. Hopefully Impala was feeling well enough to leave the Healer’s Den for a bit and hopefully he could put her in slightly better spirits. He didn’t know what they would do or where they would go on this stroll, and it probably wouldn’t be too far from the den, but perhaps some fresh air and friendly chit-chat would do her some good.


Impala nodded slowly at his words. ”It just…. hurts.” she whispered. But of course he knew that, he had lived through it himself already. Impala tried to drag herself from her quickly deteriorating mental state. She did not know his past, but she had suspected that his history was less than perfect. And now he had confirmed her suspicions. Look at how kind and cheerful Oden was now. He had survived, and he was okay now. She could not even imagine reaching such a state, but perhaps Oden was right… she had yet to do anything other than sit and grieve, this was largely due to her injuries preventing her from keeping busy, however. But here Oden was, with that kind and gentle smile on his muzzle, trying to help and make it better.

Impala looked up at him at his suggestion. ”A stroll…” she echoed. She had not been on a stroll since her injury, except for strolls to Whitewall’s grave. But she expected that was not where Oden would take her. It was a dreadful sort of addiction for her, going there. It made her so sad in yet she craved to visit almost constantly. She didn’t understand, but she was always too weak and tired to try to, so she submitted to her cravings. But this time she found herself looking forward to a stroll somewhere else. Perhaps… somewhere more pleasant. ”Yes… yes, that sounds nice.” she said, lifting herself slowly onto her paws. She wobbled slightly, her head spinning for a moment, and then she regained herself and padded after her companion. ”Where shall we go?” Impala asked him.


Oden nodded at her words. “The pain lessens with time…” Of course you never forget, but he knew the pain lessened with time. Death was such an unfortunate part of life. He had not shared that portion of his past with Impala and would hate to depress her further with it now. It was something to be saved for another time, he assumed.

Oden was delighted with her agreement to go with him. When she asked where they would be going he hesitated, thinking of landmarks within the territory. He didn’t want her to have to travel too far in her current state so he had to keep their destination close. His ears perked forward as he thought of a location. “Would the Lavender Valley be alright?” He cocked his head to the side, looking back to her as he began to make his way to the mouth of the cave. The snowfall was still light outside, the occasional snowflake fluttering down around them. The Lavender Valley was a safe and peaceful area with some beautiful views of the territory, Oden thought it would be a lovely spot to get away from the dark Healer’s Den.


Impala’s amber gaze was low as they walked. ”I sure hope it does.” she murmured. Impala had never really dealt with loss before this. She had been an only pup raised comfortably in Kausen. Yes, her mother had tried to murder her and a fire had swept across her homeland, driving her rescuers away where they abandoned her in the forests of Kausen in hopes she would find a new life… but she had been way to young to remember that, and the only reason she even knew about that was a quest she had gone on with her sister Gypsee. But hearing it in hindsight was much different than actually experiencing it. She felt very little pain if any at all from her past. Until now, anyway.

Impala smiled at she thought of the lovely valley. ”Yes, the Lavender Valley sounds like the perfect place.” She said, glancing sideways at her friend with her amber eyes glowing. ”I love looking over the territory from there… no better view in the world. Impala’s opinion was not lightly said either. Being an Emissary the young silver-blue she-wolf traveled far and wide and had seen many sights. But she had found over the course of her career so far that no place could beat the simple beauty of their beloved Kausen home.


Oden chuckled softly. “I’m glad you think so,” He glanced over at her with a smile as he padded along, slowed down a bit by the snow while also not trying to go too fast for Impala’s sake. “and I’d have to agree. I haven’t been able to spend much time there yet.”

As they left the Main Campsite he glanced down to Impala again. “Did you grow up here in Kausen?” He questioned curiously. She seemed very comfortable in the territory and knew it well. The packlands he had grown up in were much smaller than the Kausen territory. They held their own beauty, but to do many mundane things like hunting any large prey or reaching bodies of water that didn’t freeze over in winter one had to leave the territory and venture out into what was basically the unknown. When he thought about it, it was a fairly sheltered existence and he was happy to have spent some time as a loner, learning the ways of nature, despite the circumstances that led him to it.


Impala walked at Oden’s side, noticing that he was walking slower than his default speed and she was grateful for it. She had a rather quick natural walking speed, so used to traveling long distances in a short time, but obviously as she was recovering she had much less energy. She was happy to set a slow sauntering pace, but not too slow. The Beta figured that she needed to challenge herself a little bit each day in order to recover. Perhaps if she did well this walk she could go even faster next time. She was glad that Oden agreed. It was always best to enjoy an area with someone who enjoyed it as much as she did.

Impala nodded at his question, ”Yes, I have lived here as long as I can remember.” she said, ”I have a sister, Gypsee, in Blutwald. She-” Impala cut off suddenly as a thought sprang into her mind. Gypsee! she was supposed to say goodbye to her sister, niece, and nephews before she left Blutwald! But obviously, driven off the territory with half her face ripped off, it had slipped her mind. She glanced at Oden, realizing that her sudden alarm may have startled him. ”Forgive me,” she said, ”I have only just remembered… when I was in Blutwald I visited my sister and her cubs. I promised her I would return to say goodbye but… it seems I have forgotten.” she said with a light laugh, trying to make light of the situation even if she was pretty sad about it honestly. She loved spending time with her sister. She hoped Gypsee was not too worried.

Erm… anyway.” Impala said, getting back to what she had meant to say in the first place, ”I recently found out that Gypsee is my sister because she recognized me when I was on an Emissary mission to her old pack. And it turns out I was born in another pack, to a mother who only wanted sons. I suppose she tried to kill me, but I was saved by my father, and she got angry and lit the forest on fire, and my father brought me to Kausen in hopes I would find a new life. But I was so young at the time I hardly remember a thing. Even when I was standing in the den I was born in, only the vaguest memories returned… very strange. But probably for the better.” Impala said with a shrug. Her past intrigued her, but it didn’t bother her much. Kausen was her home, it was all she remembered, and she was satisfied enough with that.

She paused, realizing how lengthy her answer to his question had been. She looked at him sheepishly, ”I’m sorry… it was such a simple question. I suppose the solitude of the Healer’s den is getting to me.” She said with an uncomfortable giggle.


Oden raised his brows curiously as she mentioned a sister in Blutwald. He was surprised Stallion would show such hostility towards Impala if she were the sibling to one of his own pack members, although he still didn’t know the reason for his attack on Impala. It definitely wasn’t something he wanted to bring up now. “It’s a shame you didn’t get to say goodbye to your sister… albeit understandable.” He gave her a playful smile back. His first thought would be getting back to Kausen as quickly as possibly if that were to happen to him. But still, he wondered if Impala worried for the safety of her sister and her pups being in a pack notorious for such aggression? He attempted to think of a way to ask as Impala continued with her story.

He was surprised to hear about her mother and the fire, wondering how she managed to pull that off. “Probably for the better indeed. At least your father was a decent wolf. Goodness, what a start in life.” He gave a short laugh, also trying to make light of that terrible situation.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” He never minded listening to others talk, especially when they were his friends. It was always interesting to hear the stories of others.


Impala let her mouth break into a full smile as he returned her playful grin. Impala looked away in the direction of Blutwald as she spoke next, ”Yes… Gypsee is very close friends with Alpha Stallion… she speaks so highly of him.” The silver blue she-wolf turned back to her companion, ”why he attacked me… I just don’t understand it… we seemed to be having such a normal, civil conversation, and then…” she closed her eyes and shook her head twice, struggling to banish the terror and the memories beginning to creep back into her mind. After a moment she seemed to have regained herself and said with a weak smile, ”Well, nevermind that.”

She nodded, ”Yes, he was very kind, apparently. He’s still alive, I suppose, but I’m not sure where. My family pack did not know either… it would be nice to meet him, but I would not even know where to start.” Impala laughed at his comment, ”You’ve got that right!” It was odd thinking about it. It had all happened to her. She had been there, in mortal danger numerous times, in yet she had not even realized. She had been too young. Kausen was all she knew. Impala had always been content with her life, and so even after she learned about her past she did not let it affect her emotionally. Nothing had changed, except her wonderful relationship with her sister, and that was a good thing.

”Well, now that you know my life story, what about you?” Impala asked. She was enjoying the walk so much more than she expected. It was amazing being outside of the Healer’s den or nearby den site after so long. And the light hearted conversation she held with Oden was very therapeutic. Impala was a very social wolf, and even if her heart still dragged from her loss like it was full of stones, she found her emotions right now almost…. bearable.


“It doesn’t make any sense.” Oden shook his head in agreement with her, ears cupping forward as he could tell they were nearing the Lavender Valley.

As she questioned about his past his ears swiveled back for a moment in thought. “Oh. Hm.” His brows furrowed as he internally debated. His wasn’t the happiest of life stories either and he didn’t want to sadden her with it, but he wasn’t going to withhold the information from her if she wanted to know. He finally relaxed and gave her a small smile.

“My pack was small. I was the only pup of my litter to survive as we were born out of season, so my parents were a bit overbearing and protective in raising me. They respected nature and other creatures and their packmates, so very open and friendly.” He glanced down at her but mostly kept his gaze cast ahead of them. “When I was a juvenile the weather seemed pretty relentless. Large storms with high winds… Three loners came to our pack, put out by the storm. They claimed they would only stay until it passed, which I suppose ended up being true.” He gave a small shrug, hesitating a moment before continuing his story. “But they had ill-intentions. I remember awaking in the night to the sound of a fight. The three lone wolves were attacking my packmates and my parents sprang to help them. I wanted to help as well, but my mother couldn’t bear to lose me and wouldn’t let me risk my life like that. At the time I remember being upset with her, but I fully understand where she was coming from now. She told me to run, which I did, and I didn’t return to the territory until the next morning. There were very few survivors and my parents weren’t among them, so I decided to leave.” His face remained rather stoic throughout the tale. It had been so long ago that he was long past mourning.

“So, I spent a few years as a loner, exploring the lands, learning how to survive on my own…” He smiled again. “And eventually found Kausen.” He hopped forward a few paces before turning back to her. “The Lavender Valley!” He proudly announced.


Impala’s tail fell from the beginning. His poor siblings… but at least Oden had survived! He was hopefully too young to realize his sibling’s absences too cripplingly anyway. And it sounded like he had a pair of wonderful, loving parents. That made Impala smile, and it explained a lot about Oden’s own behavior. She met his gaze with a gentle smile, her ears cupped attentively as he went on. Well, one of her ears. The other she left limp, since what was left of it was painful to move.

The story took a turn for the worst as he explained the death of his parents, and his reasons for leaving his old pack. ”Oh, Oden…” she murmured, her golden amber eyes on the ground, ”That’s just terrible…” she said. He must have felt pain much akin to the pain she was feeling now. So hopeless, so broken, so lost…. but Impala was lucky. She had her pack to support her now. Oden had struck out on his own, grieving in private.

Her sad gaze lifted up to him as he turned around, about to speak again, when he announced their arrival. The sun that broke through the clouds bathed the valley below in golden light and the vast view took her breath away. For a moment she forgot the grief of the world so lost she was in the rolling white landscape. For a moment everything was okay.


“Oh, well.” Oden chuckled a bit uncertainly, attempting to find light in the situation. “It was a long time ago now. I suppose you could say that event shaped me into who I am today… Plus, I probably wouldn’t be in Kausen if it hadn’t happened.”

He watched her and cocked his head to the side before following her gaze out to the valley before them. He sat down in the snow, enjoying the golden light bouncing off of the snow through the valley. “I think I had forgotten just how lovely the sights are out here.” He smiled, having only been to this area of the territory a handful of times since joining Kausen.


Impala sat down beside him in the snow, taking a deep breath of the refreshing winter air. Impala’s thick fur protected her from the chill as the clouds drifted through the sky, covering the sun again as the snow flurry returned. The ice crystals were sparse as they drifted toward the ground and the light breeze buffeted gently at their fur. It was a calm and peaceful winter afternoon, and Impala found that the fresh open air made her feel more content than she had been for a long time. She made a mental note to herself to trek up here more often. It would be good for her.

The pale gray she-wolf watched a large bird circle the distant mountains when she spoke; ”Yes, isn’t it just beautiful?” she agreed with a sigh. She let the silence rest over them for a moment before speaking again, responding to his earlier comments. ”It’s awful, what happened to you. But… you’re right too. Sometimes bad things happen… and I suppose nothing bad has happened to me before the recent past so I can’t say for sure, but I get the feeling sometimes that things do happen for a reason. You survived the attack, struck out on your own, and found a new life for yourself as a loner, and then as a Scout here. And if it was not for you, I don’t know if I would have made it home that day...” she paused and turned her head to look at him, ”You’ve been a very kind friend to me, Oden, and for what its worth, I’m glad you ended up in Kausen.” The soft-spoken Beta smiled softly.


Oden took in what she was saying as he continued to observe the scenery before them, watching that same bird circle the mountains. It was true that it was awful what had happened to his family but if he had disobeyed his mother’s wishes and stayed he probably would have ended up similarly to them. He was incredibly grateful to her to send him away.

He nodded when she said she felt things do happen for a reason, because he had to agree. It was crazy how things worked out and lined up just right. How if he had chosen a different task, he may not have found Impala, or had he chosen a different route to travel before he even had a task that he may not have ever run into Impala to help him decide to become a Scout.

“Me too.” He responded, turning to her with a smile. He valued their friendship and he was glad she felt the same. “I hope that I can continue to take you on walks such as this?” He was questioning her hopefully again. Despite some of the more depressing conversation topics, it had been a really lovely time for him.


Impala nodded as his question, a wide smile forming on her muzzle. She was touched at his generous offer. She knew that she would have to take walks like these more, to prevent her from slipping into the overwhelming pit of sadness and pain that seemed to poison the Healer’s den and the parts of the forest very near the den where Whitewall was buried. She needed to get away sometimes, to clear her mind, to find a way to be at peace. And she believed she had found it. Right here, with the fresh air filling her with a new comfort, a dear friend so willing to help her, and the lovely sights showing her that the world continued to turn, continued to provide, and continued to offer its beauty to all who needed to find a light in the darkness that often seemed to shroud everyday life.

”Yes, Oden… I would like that. Even now, I feel better than I have felt since before I left for Blutwald in the first place.” the silver-blue she-wolf said with an affectionate smile at the big male. And it was the truth. For the past few days the world had seemed hopeless. She did not know how she would go on, and even if she was far from being okay now, Oden’s offer had helped her see a tiny glimmer of hope in the distance, a promise of a brighter future. And maybe as she got better she and Oden could go to different places, and just enjoy their beautiful homeland in a way they normally would overlook when traveling through it on everyday tasks. Yes, she no longer had Whitewall beside her, but that did not mean that she was alone. She had her friends, and her pack. She knew that these walks with Oden would be something that she looked forward to every day.