Hawkeye X Reader- Chapter 40 On Your Own

Glass crunched loudly under your feet. You silently walked down what was once a busy main road, trying to keep your eyes averted from the butchered innocents littering the road and sidewalk. It was so quiet that it was as if you had been trapped in a bubble of silence. You kicked a smashed Iphone 6 off of the path and watched it spin out onto the road. You were supposed to be searching for survivors but every single building you passed by looked like it had been hit by a bomb. You walked another few blocks without hearing so much as a whimper. It was time to face it, there just weren’t any survivors of this attack. You sighed, glancing across the road at what had once been a fairly upmarket apartment block. The front windows had been completely shattered and there appeared to be a blue Ford Falcon crashed in the foyer. You smirked, what were the odds? You had just decided to cross over and poke around when there was feedback from your communicator.

“Falcon, can you hear me Falcon?” It was the voice of the scientist who had been trying to devise a cure.
“I hear you loud and clear, do you have the cure?”
“No,” There was a momentary pause. “But I know where the signal is being sent from.”
You felt your heart jump in your chest. “Where?”
“You’re not going to believe this, the main signal is being sent from the Whitehouse.”
You froze. “What? Have you told the others?”
“I couldn’t reach them, neither can Fury. I think you may be on your own.”
“What?” You stared at your frightened reflection in a blood smeared shop window. Why did you always end up on your own? “I-I can’t do this by myself.”
Bracing yourself against a wall you tried to catch your breath. Where were Clint and the others? If he was dead… No, he couldn’t be dead. He wouldn’t leave you like that, not when you were both so happy. You felt your legs turn to jelly. Most people didn’t have the same luck that you had when it came to mortal wounds. You had survived more than you should’ve, maybe Clint’s death was going to be your punishment. Your eyes burned with tears and you began to shake. What about Tash? You had only just put that petty rivalry behind you. This wasn’t the way things were supposed to happen.

“Agent _____.” A deep stern voice spoke in your ear.
You swallowed and answered your voice croaky. “Fury?”
He didn’t even pull you up on your informality. “You need to keep it together _____, I’m sending down a team to assist you.”
“I don’t think I ca-“
“You have to,” He snapped. “You have no choice, you will be commanding officer so the lives of the men I send down to you are your responsibility.”
You covered your mouth with your hands, body shaking again. “I-I’m not ready for this Director.”
“It doesn’t matter whether you’re ready or not, you are our last chance. I have lost communication with the rest of the Avengers and Thor is nowhere to be seen. You are all there is.”
You collapsed onto your knees, amongst the broken glass and debris and you cried, tears and snot running down your face grossly. Images of being tortured kept flashing into your mind, as well as images of each one of your new friends crumpled in a pool of their own blood.

By the time the strike team met up with you, you had cleaned yourself up and taken on a stony demeanor. The head of the team was slender but somehow still looked athletic and very familiar. You frowned as they team of six approached. And then it hit you, he was the very same man who had led you to the conference room.
“Agent ______, it’s good to see you again.” He offered you a broad grin.
You did your best impression of Natasha, trying to appear like someone cool calm and collected. “Likewise Agent Steele.”
“We’ve all been briefed, but I have the suspicion that Fury omitted a lot of details.”  
You gave a stiff nod. “Most likely, it’s something he’s been known to do,” You sighed feeling the threat of tears beginning to burn behind you eyes again. “Let’s get this over and done with, anyone know their way to the Whitehouse?”
Agent Steele shrugged, glancing at each one of his men. “I was expecting you to know.”
“ok…” You bit your lip, the leadership thing wasn’t for you. “Does anyone have their phone with them?”
“No, but there’s one on the ground by your feet that looks salvageable.” A large man with coffee coloured skin pointed out.  
You grinned, “Well men we have our answer right here.” Thankfully apart from a slightly cracked screen the Samsung was fine, and there wasn’t any passcode.
“How’s that going to help us?” Steele looked at you skeptically.
You rolled your eyes. “Two words, Google Maps.”
The men around you chuckled, as you keyed in the details. “Let’s just hope the internet is still fully functional.”

The Whitehouse had ended up being quite a way away; thankfully one of the men with you had been a car thief in his youth and knew the proper way to hot wire a car. He’d found a white courier van and although it was no hotrod, it had gotten your group surprisingly far, before you were forced to leave it because of chaotic roads. The closer you moved toward the Whitehouse the worse the damage became. Both sound and live people returned in a flash. They were running and screaming as well as fighting one another. Retrieving you sais you turned to the men following you. “Save anyone you can.”
Agent Steele gave you a sympathetic look. “We have to continue to the Whitehouse _____, this is happening all over the world and we need to stop it for good.”
You watched as a woman in a tailored grey business suit tackled a policeman, her manicured nails clawing at his face. What Agent Steele said made sense, but it would be hard to follow through on it.
“Ok, but if we come across anyone that can be saved we do it. We’re here to protect the people who can’t protect themselves.” You ordered as you inconspicuously wiped a tear from your cheek.  
Steele opened his mouth to protest but you gave him a look that would wither even the most hardened souls. You were the one in charge, not him.

You all hiked the last mile cautiously, finding yourselves thrown in the middle of many battles. By the time you finally arrived at the security gates to the Whitehouse you were all exhausted.
Wiping sweat from your brow you turned to the men surrounding you. “We need to break through these gates and get in there no matter the cost.”
“The president would be in lockdown by now, that place will be crawling with special forces.” Steele spoke matter of factly, reloading his assault rifle.
“Agent Steele are you suggesting we give up?” Raising an eyebrow you crossed your arms over your chest, hoping it would hold the growing hole in your chest together. It had been over an hour since anyone had heard word from Clint, Tony or Tash, and you were beginning to finally give in to the fact that you may never hear them again.
Steele scratched his eyebrow. “No, I just think it’d be better if we took a less direct route in. Aren’t you meant to be good at stealth _______?”
You flinched at the venom hidden behind his words. “This is the Whitehouse we’re talking about here you asswipe! Not some building with multiple entries and exits.”
He laughed right in your face. “Your naivety knows no bounds. Of course there are multiple exits they’re just not shown to the public obviously.”
Hands balling into fists you used all of your willpower to not sock him right there. “I’m the one in charge here Agent Steele, it’d do you well to remember that. I say we go through the front gates, so that’s what we’ll do. You’re either with me or against me,” Sliding a sai from the sheathe at your hip you placed it against his cheek, drawing a single bead of blood. “And trust me, you don’t want to be against me today.”  
He blinked gritting his teeth. “Your wish is my command master.”
“Good, that’s what I like to hear,” You smiled, replacing your sai. “Lets get going shall we?”
The men chuckled to themselves, patting an infuriated Agent Steele on the back. You tried to appear triumphant and like the leader these men were beginning to think you were. But how were you meant to be strong for so many people, when all you wanted to do was find a corner to cry in?