Goodbye

My sunday school teacher told me to 'count my blessings.' I didn't know what she meant then. I didn't understand that even the smallest things we take for granted are blessings from God.

Today I took note of everything I would miss when I said goodbye. Today I thanked God for everything he had ever given me. I saw how blue the sky looked today. It was as blue as my daddy's eyes. I thanked God for the sky and for my daddy. I noticed how carefully my daddy hugged me this morning. He smelled like grass and fresh air. His eyes were very happy when he saw me sitting up in bed this morning. I noticed today that he has four wrinkles on the left and five wrinkles on the right corners of his eyes from laughing. I counted. My daddy always takes off his glasses to hug me. I noticed the tiny red marks on the bridge of his nose where they sat. I noticed how my daddy's nose isn't straight like Momma's nose. Grandpa told me he broke it when he was five. He fell off a horse. I noticed the scar on daddy's lips from the time he cut it while shaving. I noticed that daddy hasn't trimmed his mustache lately. Momma should help him soon. He'll need to look nice when my family comes. He has not trimmed his nose hair, either. He says he doesn't have long nose hair, but Momma says she'll trim it when she trims his mustache. Daddy has alot of grey hairs too, right above his ears and down the back of his neck.

I think I will miss my daddy very much. I told him that when he turned to leave my room. Daddy said I would not have to miss him because he was never going to leave me ever. I told him that I loved him when he said that, but then I felt bad because he started to cry. He left before he really did, to make me feel better I think. I told him goodbye when he left, but I still feel awful for making Daddy cry.

My mother came in after Daddy. She tried to smile to make me think she wasn't sad, but I noticed her eyes were red. Momma is so beautiful. I think she is the most beautiful lady I have ever met. She has long, curly black hair that she used to let me brush. She says I'm too big too brush her hair anymore, but I know she thinks I'm too tired to do it. I will never be too tired to brush Momma's hair and I told her so. She started to cry when I said that and I asked her "May I please brush your hair?" She nodded and got the silver brush that Grandmother gave me. I always use it to brush Momma's hair.

As I brushed Momma's hair I told her about the dream I had last night. I had been a princess in a castle once upon a time. I was all grown up and very pretty - like Momma. I told her so too. I told her about the prince I met and how it ended in 'happily ever after.' Momma and I agree that all stories must end in 'happily ever after.' Besides, it's so hard to be sad when you are married to a prince and when you live in a castle once upon a time. Momma let me tie a ribbon in her hair when I was done. I noticed how soft Momma's hair felt today. I guess Momma turned around to see why I had stopped moving, because her eyes were teary again. That's when I decided that Momma's eyes looked like sapphires and her tears were like diamonds on a necklace. I told her that too. Momma did start to cry then, and she hugged me very tight. I hugged her back, very tight as well. I told Momma goodbye when she left my room.

Thomas and Freddie came in to see me right before lunch. Freddie said that they had to hurry because they were playing hide and seek with Nana, and she would soon figure out where they had gotten too. Thomas and Freddie are my bigger and biggest brothers. Thomas is ten and Freddie is eight. Thomas is very tall for a biggest brother, but I think it is because he is ten after all. He looks very much like Momma - his eyes sparkle too. Freddie doesn't look like Momma or Daddy. Freddie looks like Papa, well, except for the wrinkles and all the fuzzies that Papa has in his ears. Freddie looks like Papa because he and Papa both laugh at anything, and when they laugh they have little dimple marks on their cheeks.

They have always been such good brothers too me, I told them so. They taught me how to climb trees after all. Freddie laughed when we started to talk about the time he had cut off our cousin Anne's pigtail with Momma's sewing scissors, but Thomas elbowed him in the ribs and he stopped laughing. Neither of them said a word after that, but I kept telling the stories, and they listened very closely. I told them goodbye when Nana came to get them. I think I shall miss them the most.

My Grandmother and Papa came to visit us that afternoon, and Uncle Robert and Aunt Josephine came for dinner. I told them all goodbye when they left. My cousins Anne and Henry couldn't come, Aunt Josephine said they were tired, but I think Aunt Josephine just didn't want them to be sad anymore, you see, they have been very sad since I haven't been able to play with them.

Right before bed time I had told my whole family goodbye, but I'm not sad! You see, I made a new friend today before I left. His name is Michael and he is very nice. He held my hand the entire time I said goodbye. He gave my mother a hug, but she was crying so hard I don't think she felt it. I told everyone I loved them, but they were too sad to hear.

Michael pulled my hand when it was time to go. I turned to face my family as I walked to the door, but they were all listening to Father Robert as he prayed. Michael stopped pulling my hand when Father Robert said something to a person in my bed. I smiled when I saw it was a little girl sleeping - why she looked just my age! I turned to the door again and pulled Michael with me. He asked me why I smiled as I said goodbye to my family and I told him that I couldn't be happy and not smile... because I was very happy. There was a little girl sleeping on my bed, a little girl to love my family for me while I was gone away! Besides, when the doctor told me I would die,  I asked Daddy what it meant. Daddy says that to die means to just say goodbye for a little while, so I was smiling because I knew I would see my family again soon when they died too! Michael smiled and nodded and we stepped outside into the bright sunshine.