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The Sodality Girls on Trial, Pt. 5

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Scene from: "Sodality: Vindication"
Made with: "The Sims 3: Into the Future"

BACKGROUND
=================
(Continued from Part 4)

Cerubo: "Okay...Brian!  What'd you bring me for early Christmas this time?"

Keet: "I think you got stiffed!  He forgot the pear tree!"

Judge Cerubo took a while to absorb what Keet just said, as the courtroom erupted with laughter and fists pounding wood uncontrollably.  The Sodality girls looked on with embarrassment.  Keet was going to make it harder on all of them, they feared.  And she'd only BEGUN talking!

Cerubo: "All right, order!  Order!  Enough already!  Sheesh!  I should dress these women up as clowns next time!"

Celia acted like she wanted to raise her hand, then stopped herself.  She'd heard one too many jokes about how she looked like Harley Quinn, and didn't want to make matters worse.

Cerubo: "And when I say order, I mean everyone shut up!  The next french fry joke is contempt of court!"

Michelle (whispering to Candi): "I vahz more in tha mood for gyros anyway."

Candi (whispering back): "Don't push it!"

Keet: "Do I start narrative now, or do I wait for my lawyer to get here?"

Cerubo: "You...have one?"

Keet: "I guess.  The bum's not here yet!"

Again, the audience cracked up laughing.

Cerubo: "So, what's your lawyer's name?"

Keet: "Ware."

Cerubo: "The name of your lawyer."

Keet: "Ware."

Cerubo: "You don't even know his name or location?"

Keet:"Ware.  I don't know where."

Cerubo: "At least give me his name!"

Keet: "Ware."

Cerubo: "I don't CARE where he is, I just want his name!"

Keet: "Theodore Ware, Junior."

Cerubo: "Does he have an assistant in the office I can call?"

Keet: "Ida Noh."

Cerubo: "Thank you for being honest."

Keet: "No, her name is Ida.  Noh is her last name.  She's from...I think you call the place Japan, originally?  I'm not sure."

The judge soon realized what kind of trap he'd just fallen into, as the jury and audience could barely contain their laughter.

Cerubo: "The day I get Abbot-and-Costello'd again by Polly-Wanna-Cracker!  That'll be the day!"

Keet: "The name is Keeterina Beh Kabo!  Keet for short!  No, I don't like being called 'Keet Kabob!'  And I don't like crackers!"

Cerubo (visibly frustrated): "Moving on.  So why are you here, Keet?"

Keet: "Because God wanted me to be born!"

Cerubo: "No, not that!  I mean, why are you in this courtroom?"

Keet: "Oh, that.  Very well.  Some lowlife punk working for the Phaletori assassinated a major politician on my homeworld.  He fled here.  Turns out, the Phaletori and Icy Finger forged some sort of alliance.  Now they threaten both our worlds.  

Well, the Phaletori nearly destroyed Dephinapolis because of a warlord named Gosmerid.  My buddies and I stopped him.  I owed Gosmerid a good sock to the jaw after he destroyed Phaemer Village while I was a kid.  Street life was tough for many years.  This may be from a movie, but ain't no one gonna sue me: Fish taste good, and birds have gotta eat!  One of those fish dinners was a tad expensive though.  Tried to get a job, the stuff you're supposed to do.  Nearly got put in a cage.  Again.  Several times. 

This stupid Kirby Act you got going on here is just like the garbage on my homeworld!  I got news for you!  Just cause I'm a freak with a beak, don't mean I can't flip one of your burgers for you!  Anyway, if we don't stop this madhouse here, then your nonsense will trickle downstream to my world.  Phaemer Village will be destroyed yet again, and my kind will have no safe place anywhere in the universe.  I'll moult before I'll let that happen!

My guys: Evan, Bart, Titus, and Jackal; decided to go with me to Earth and catch the creepo killer.  Bart changed his mind because his farm needed him.  Fair enough.  We get here.  We get ambushed over Alaska.  Evan and I tried to get in a pod.  Bad idea! 

Creepo shot us out of the sky, right as the Chinese chick was getting all smoochy with the Rat dude and Brian here at the same time!"

Brian: "Keet, please!  I didn't actually kiss Mingmei!  And stop bringing my private life into this!"

Keet: "Evan and I got out of the pod, and there were a billion guns pointed at us!  Something about a tool shed?  We almost got killed in mid-air, and a psycho got away, and you a-clowns care more about some monkey wrench and a pile of wood?  Evan's a wonderful guy!  How's he gonna survive in a prison?  He's funny, and I adore him.  But take away his yo-yos and time dilators, and he's just a washed-up rocker with an encyclopedic memory.  I've rocked the big house once, so whatever.  At least let him out!"

Cerubo: "Your...boys?  Have you...?"

Keet: "What are you insinuating?  Private life!!!  And the logistics don't add up either!  I like them; especially that adorable pudgy goofball known as Time Capsule!  But let's not get carried away here!"

Stephanie (whispering to Celia): "Do we still have the right to remain silent?"

Celia (whispering back): "We still have the ability.  Not sure it's gonna matter.  Keet can't comprehend either!"

Cerubo: "Logistics?"

Keet: "All right, pervert!  Here's the low-down on PhVP TMI!!!  Since you asked less-than-nicely!

Evan would crush me flat, Titus is a living statue and would probably also crush me flat, Jackal is a human-jackal mix, and Chipotle?  No.  The first two would be painful, the second two would be creepy.  One's old and treats me like I'm his niece.  That's icky.  The other is a jackal.  Nuff said.  Also ick.  Chipotle?  I can tolerate his chilli pepper powder skin.  But he's also a bit old for me.  More ick.  Evan's 90s obsession is cute.  Doesn't mean I wanna marry it.  Me and any of them doing that is ick!"

Cerubo: "That beak...how do you kiss anyone with it?"

Keet: "We're like cousins, not polygamists!  And I never tried to kiss anyone.  You volunteering to be my first experiment, Puffy Lips?  Don't mind if I slice your trachea getting the angle wrong?  Then again, I hear most of you activist judge types these days have your minds in the gutter, so you'd probably enjoy it!  Do you by chance carry a pump?"

Cerubo (embarrassed, as she guessed correctly that he does): "I've heard enough!  Jury, take notes on this one!  I wanna hear your deliberations.  I don't trust this bad bird!  She's just...plain...I won't even say it!!!"

Keet: "The moral of the story, kids?"

The children grew intense, waiting to hear some uplifting story.

Keet: "Don't play with syringes.  You might get me."

The kids were unsure whether to laugh, or be genuinely horrified by the implications of what she just said.

Cerubo: "Lock this one up immediately!!!  I'm just going to call contempt of court and get it over with!"

Keet: "As Evan would have me say: A line from Transformers to you, pal!"

Keet was hauled away rather quickly.  Again, the Sodality women feared this visitor from another planet clearly had values from another planet.  She was not making things easy for anyone.  Dolly couldn't help but smile.  Keet's bitter outlook on life mirrored Dolly's own of six years earlier.  Yet, Dolly was not about to leave the side of her friends just because she found Keet amusing.
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