When Annie Awoke - SNK Fanfic - Chapter 5

Armin could tell that his grandfather didn’t like being out so late. He hadn’t said a word since they’d left the market, but the hurry in his step and the tight grip with which he held Armin’s hand were clear indicators that he wanted to get home as quickly as possible. Armin knew that there was good reason for his grandfather’s nervousness- the streets weren’t very safe after sundown.

Granddad seemed relieved when they finally turned in to their small yard. He reached into his pocket for the key, but Armin stopped him before he could push it into the lock. Silently, the small boy tapped his grandfather’s arm, and pointed, showing him that the door was already ajar.

Granddad showed no alarm, but pointed to a corner of the yard, quietly instructing Armin to wait there behind a shrub. Armin did as he was told, and watched his grandfather enter the house. However, after a few seconds, his curiosity got the better of him, and he crept in behind his grandfather, concealing himself in the shadows near the doorway.

Granddad crept into the house quietly, until he arrived at the doorway to the kitchen. Inside, a man in worn clothes was desperately searching the empty cupboards. Granddad meant to back away, but a misstep landed him on top of a squeaky floorboard. The man whipped around, staring at Granddad with wide, frantic eyes, and brandishing a knife.

“Stay back, old man!” he warned. His eyes darted around, and fell on the grocery-laden basket in Granddad’s hand. “What have you got in the basket? Throw it over here!”

Granddad ignored the man’s threats, instead walking over to him slowly. The man warned him to desist, and waved the knife madly, although he seemed to want to back away from Granddad at the same time.

“It’s alright,” Granddad promised. “No need to be upset.” He kept walking over until he was right in front of the man. With no regard for the knife being thrust in his face, he held the basket out. “Here, you can have all of it. Just let me take two apples so the little one can have some supper.”

The man was flabbergasted, and silently accepted the gift. He glanced into the basket, at the eggs, potatoes, and apples, then glanced up at Granddad.

“Yeah, you better!” he finally cried, waving the knife around one last time. With that, he hurried out of the house, rushing right past Armin on his way out the door.

As soon as the man had left, Armin ran to his grandfather and hugged him tightly.

“Granddad!” he cried. “I was so scared. Come on! If we get the police now, they might catch him.”

Granddad smiled, and bent down to ruffle Armin’s hair. “It’s alright, little one. We’ll let this one go.”

“But, Granddad,” Armin wailed, “he’s a thief!”

“No,” Granddad shook his head. “He’s hungry, just like us.”

Later, Granddad sat next to Armin while he munched on his apple. “No matter what kind of people you meet, Armin, always remember that they’re no different than you are. The only difference between people is their circumstances. On the inside, we’re all the same. People don’t always need to be punished – sometimes they just need to be shown a little kindness.”

*              *              * 

“What do you think happens to people when they die?”

Armin thought carefully before answering. “I don’t know. I was told that they simply stop existing, but I like to think that they come back as a different person.”

“You’re wrong.” Annie seemed proud to know something that Armin didn’t. “They don’t come back. They exit their body like an open cage, and fly away like a bird.”

“How do you know that?

“My father had an accident once, and he almost died. He said that he came out of his body, and he saw everyone rushing around to help him.” Her wistful expression relaxed into a hopeful smile. “I can’t wait to fly. I can’t wait to finally be free.”

“Where do you think you’ll go?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to visit home, though, and see them all before I go.”

Armin smiled sadly. He knew that Annie could possibly be killed that day, but at least he could take comfort in the thought that she would be happy afterwards.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“I’m at peace. I’ve forgiven them – Reiner, Bertholdt, everyone.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I’ll miss you. I feel like I’ve gotten closer to you in these last few days than I ever was before.”

Annie smiled at him shyly. 

“The guards will be here for you soon,” Armin remarked, glancing at his watch. “If they allow you a last meal, have you thought about what you’d like?”

“A big bowl of vanilla ice cream. I haven’t had any since I left home.”

“I promise that I’ll get you some. If my appeal is accepted, I’ll bring it to you tonight.”

In the distance, Annie could hear the guards’ heavy footsteps coming towards them.

“Thank you, Armin. Thank you for everything.”

The guards walked in just then, and briefly greeted Armin before opening the cell door. They removed Annie in their usual rough manner, handcuffed her, and then hurried her away through the halls.

Armin watched them go, then slowly followed behind them.

*              *              * 

“There you are.” Mikasa hurried to the door of the courtroom, beside which Eren was standing with crossed arms like a sentinel. “I’ve been wondering where you were. What are you doing?”

“Trying to warn everyone,” Eren replied. “Don’t go in there, unless you’re ready to witness the most unbelievable sight of your life.”

“What are you talking about?”

Just then, Armin walked over, with Jean hurrying beside him. He walked right past Mikasa and Eren without a word, ignoring their suspicious glares as he entered the courtroom.

“Are you in on this, too?” Eren asked Jean.

“In on what?” Jean was genuinely confused.

Jean was still none the wiser when the court was called to order. Annie knelt in the middle of courtroom with her head bent low, just like she had done the day before.

“After careful consideration of all of the statements and testimonies presented yesterday,” Commander Gorman announced. “I find the accused, Annie Leonhardt, guilty as charged.”

While muffled conversation rose up and filled the room around him, Armin kept his gaze intent on Annie. She remained completely still, not moving a muscle.

“In consideration of the extreme severity of her crimes, she will be sentenced to execution, to be performed by sundown this evening.”

Another round of chatter rose up. Commander Gorman prepared to announce the method of execution, when Armin suddenly rose from his seat.

“Excuse me, Commander,” he called out. The Commander looked right at Armin, along with every other person in the courtroom, except Annie. “Forgive me, but I’ve prepared a statement that I would like to present to the court. I would like to make an appeal on behalf of the accused.”

The room fell completely silent. Annie turned her head and stared at Armin, along with every other person in the room. Armin looked only at the Commander-in-Chief.

“Go ahead and present your case, Commander Arlert.”

Armin slowly strode to the stand at the front of the courtroom. He could feel the intense stare of every eye in the courtroom, and his chest and back became damp with nervous perspiration. When he had taken his place in the stand, he looked down at Annie, then up above everyone’s heads.

“I met Annie Leonhardt in the year 847, when we joined the military as new trainees. As a matter of fact, I met a lot of people there, each one with different motivations that had caused them to enlist. One person that I knew well aspired to join the Military Police with the hope of serving his beloved King; another also dreamed of joining the Brigade, so that he would finally know the experience of being looked up to and respected; yet another wished to join them so that he could enjoy a life of ease and privilege within the inner city. Likewise, A dear friend of mine sought to join the Scouts so that he could fight against them for humanity’s freedom; a mutual friend followed him, out of respect for a personal vow to protect him at all costs; however, I ended up joining because I couldn’t imagine life without their company. We were refugees from Shiganshina, and they were all that I had left, so I joined the military in order to be with them.

“As you can see, we all had different motivations for joining. Humans aren’t like animals, or titans, that operate on instinct. We must be motivated in order to act. Onlookers may categorize our motivations into various degrees of nobility, but regardless of what others think of us, we are each driven to act by our desire to actualize our own aspirations. My reason for joining the military, admittedly, wasn’t as noble as that of my friends, but I saw the decision to follow them as a matter of self-preservation, and no amount of persuasion could have effectively changed my mind – I was compelled by my motive of survival. The third colleague that I mentioned was often frowned upon because of his superficial reasons for aspiring to join the Police, but in his mind, he was making the best possible investment in his future – he was compelled by his motive of comfort. And although my friend was often ridiculed as a reckless lunatic, he was confident in the knowledge that his decision was true to his personal morals and aspirations for himself, and for the rest of humanity  - he was compelled by his motive of freedom. We all had different motivations, but we all wanted to do what was best for ourselves.

“Annie Leonhardt also joined the military with motivations in mind. While none of us but she can say exactly what those motivations were, it is obvious that she felt compelled to please someone. Annie studied and trained diligently during our tenure as trainees, ultimately earning the position of fourth out of the top ten in our class. She was one of our best combatants, and definitely intelligent as well. She was incredibly focused, so much so that she wouldn’t allow herself to get carried away with us during times of frivolity or light-heartedness. Others may have called her antisocial, but she knew that she was simply demonstrating the discipline that she needed to, in order to accomplish her goals.

“I don’t need to present evidence today to confirm that Annie Leonhardt was acting on behalf of someone else. We received a lot of that yesterday, as well as information about her accomplices and their supposed location. I won’t attempt, either, to persuade you that Annie is anything other than guilty. To do so would be foolish, especially after my own testimony yesterday. No – today, I stand before you to suggest that perhaps, we might be judging Annie more harshly than her actions truly warrant. I know that a lot has been said about Annie’s brutality in combat, about her unwavering loyalty to her accomplices, about the insidious way in which she infiltrated our military, and about how terribly cunning she was about avoiding discovery. However, I want to remind the court that Annie carried all this out when she was only fifteen years old, and her only known accomplices were no older than she was. I’ve spent two decades contemplating all that Annie has done, and although I’ve discovered a lot about what she did and what she may have sought to accomplish, I can’t come up with one good reason why she would have done it.

“What was there to gain from destroying a city? What could she have gained by killing legions of soldiers? What could she have possibly wanted with Eren Jaeger, had she successfully kidnapped him? Annie Leonhardt had nothing to gain from either of those actions, neither did Reiner Braun nor Bertholdt Hoover. These three were only puppets – gloves on the hands of some more malicious, more motivated authority. At the end of a puppet show, we applaud the puppet master, not the puppet. Therefore, why should we heap all our hatred and anger on a mere puppet?

“I would like to encourage the court to consider, if I may borrow an old adage, that there are indeed two sides to every coin. While we have used our statements and testimonies to paint a perfect picture of Annie Leonhardt’s darker side, there was a side of her that we failed to consider yesterday. I want to implore you to consider the side of Annie Leonhardt that took Eren Jaeger aside and taught him to fight, so well that he was eventually able to overpower her and defeat her. Consider the side of Annie Leonhardt that once tried to discourage me from joining the Survey Corps, knowing fully well that she would join the Military Police, and shortly thereafter launch her attack as the Female Titan. Over all else, I want to implore you all to consider the incident of my discovery of Annie’s identity, shortly after the murders of Dita Ness and Luke Siss. Annie had made short work of two soldiers far more experienced than myself. She towered over me at fourteen feet in height. She could have easily crushed me underfoot, and moved on without a second thought. Instead, she walked over to where I was cowering, and gently lifted the hood from my head. She checked my identity, and then simply moved on. During that day’s attack, Annie killed hundreds of soldiers. She killed with the intention of eliminating all threats to her mission, which was to seize and kidnap Eren Jaeger. However, even though Annie could have destroyed Jean and me before running off to find Eren, she chose to allow us to live, even with the knowledge that one of us, especially me, could have identified her and exposed her.

“Annie wasn’t the heartless killer that we’ve made her out to be. She was just a child, guided by a motive which was planted in her mind by someone more powerful than she. She wasn’t callous and uncaring; she cared about her squad mates, and she tried to protect us from herself on several occasions.

“I don’t know what Annie’s motivation was, but we certainly have clues. Annie often spoke of her home, and of her father. Reiner and Bertholdt were extremely desperate to return to their homes with Eren. It doesn’t require a very far stretch of the imagination to conclude that these three were exiled from their homes, and refused reentry until they had accomplished their mission. Based on the timeline of their attacks, they would have been no more than ten years of age when they were initially sent away from home. Surely, this revelation should give you a glimpse into the minds of these three children, and give you a better understanding of what motivated them to destroy cities and murder thousands.  In closing, I would like to make a comparison of Annie’s actions with that of someone that I know very well. I know of a child who, at the age of nine, brutally murdered three men in order to save a girl he didn’t even know. Therefore, it’s not unreasonable to think that a little girl might kill in order to be permitted to her Daddy’s arms once again.

“Commander Gorman, I could not stand before you today to try to persuade you that Annie Leonhardt is innocent. I don’t believe it myself. However, I would like to earnestly request that she be given a more compassionate sentence than is usual for a crime of this nature. She wasn’t a heartless murderer; she was only a girl, driven by misdirected motives. Please consider the circumstance of her crime, and exercise compassion in choosing her sentence. That is the my appeal, sir.”

Armin looked up from his pre-written speech, down to where Annie was kneeling. She stared back at him with wide, amazed eyes. He walked back to his booth with his gaze down, and perched on the edge of the nearest bench.

“Thank you for your eloquent statement, Commander Arlert,” Commander Gorman said. “You have certainly presented us with plenty to think about. I will postpone Annie’s execution so that I can reconsider my decision. For now, court is adjourned. We will reconvene for the announcement of my final decision tomorrow morning.”

The quiet courtroom quickly became filled with the low buzz of discontented murmurs. The members of the Survey Corps began to stir around Armin, waiting impatiently for Annie to be escorted out of the hall so that they could leave and discuss their dissatisfaction in the corridor. Armin stayed in his seat, focusing only on Annie, and feeling grateful that no one felt impressed to speak to him.

The guards had just removed Annie from the stocks, when there was suddenly a loud clamour outside the courtroom. After a few bangs from outside, the door was suddenly flung open, and Kaiser stormed in, his face pulled taut in an expression of pure hostility. His right hand was raised high above his head, and he brandished a large brick as he entered the room. A sizeable mob, presumably gathered from the streets, was trickling into the courthouse behind him.

“I would rather die and burn in hell, than accept a court ruling that exercises compassion towards titans!” he yelled, his voice elevated to an ecstatic, shrilly pitch. Everyone in the courtroom froze, save for those near the door who backed away from the threat of Kaiser’s brick.

“Captain Albrecht,” Commander Gorman shouted, from his place on the bench. “Stand down and demonstrate respect for the decision of the court!”

“I will never stand down, until I’m satisfied that justice has been served! This man,” he turned, stabbing a long, thin finger in Armin’s direction, “is the real criminal here! He climbs into the stand talking about compassion for a killer of multitudes, while demonstrating total disregard for the rights of those who suffered by this harpy’s actions! Not only that, but he makes comparisons as if any of us could be as depraved as her!” The crazed scientist stalked further into the court, coming threateningly closer to Armin. “I’m so sick and tired of you entitled outlier-district refugees, walking around, acting like you’re the only ones who’ve ever experienced any kind of trauma! There’s nothing special about you! You’re not the only one who knows what a titan attack is like! I was a child when she made her final attack on Trost City, and this abomination orphaned me!” Kaiser was now only metres away from Armin, and the Commander watched in amazement while a single angry tear slid down the man’s face. Armin had seen Kaiser act out several different degrees of fury before, but he had never seen him cry. He remained glued to his seat, certain that Kaiser’s brick would come flying towards him at any minute, yet acutely aware that he had placed himself into his current situation, and couldn’t now back away.

“My parents were crushed by falling buildings while we ran for our lives!” he continued screaming. “I lay under my mother’s dead body for three days while I waited for them to clear the rubble and rescue me! When I finally joined the Survey Corps, I did so to be a part of the retribution that would eventually come to humankind, and I will never allow the Corps to fall into such depravity that we begin to feel sympathy for titans – not at your hands, and not at anyone else’s! You sicken me! You’re a terrible, pathetic excuse for a soldier, and already the worst commander the Survey Corps has ever had!”

Kaiser turned suddenly, and with his free hand, wrested a bunch of keys from a nearby policeman, which he flung at Armin. The keys bounced off his chest, and fell to his feet with a crash.

“Why don’t you just let all the other prisoners free, huh? And crap all over our judicial system while you’re at it!” Kaiser’s shoulders slumped into a defeated posture, as he seemingly forgot about the brick he was still gripping. The policemen still stood in the center of the courtroom with Annie, unsure of how to get past him without being attacked. Some of the people who Kaiser had passed in his advance towards Armin had slipped out of the courtroom, to view the proceedings from the relative safety of the hallway.

“Oh, gods,” Kaiser wailed. “If this court considers an appeal for a titan, I’ll take myself to the gallows and execute myself instead. I can’t live in a world like this.” He raised his free hand to his face, and roughly wiped away a few more tears.

The policemen who were escorting Annie tried to take advantage of the opportunity to move past him to the door. Noticing them in the corner of his eye, Kaiser suddenly revived, and without warning, flung the brick at Annie with incredible force, screaming as he did so. Fortunately, her reflexes were quicker than he had counted for, and she dodged out of the way just in time. The brick sailed over her head, narrowly missing the guard on her left, and crashing to the ground several feet behind them.

“You can’t escape forever!” Kaiser yelled. “I won’t rest until they tie you to the stake! I want to watch you burn! I want to watch the flesh melt from your bones! I want to hear you scream bloody murder until you die!” With Kaiser finally disarmed, several members of the Military Police rushed forward to detain him, and proceeded to drag him out of the courtroom, not without great difficulty. Marlo stood in the middle of the courtroom, shouting orders on one side to have Kaiser dragged out of the courthouse, and on the other to rush Annie down to her cell. Kaiser’s mob followed him outside, and several soldiers followed as well, forming a riotous throng outside the building. Armin headed for the door, just in time to spot Eren hurrying to join them.

“What are you doing?” Armin asked, grabbing his arm. “You don’t even like Kaiser.”

“This isn’t about me and Kaiser,” Eren snapped. “This is about me, you, and Annie. What you did today was wrong, Armin, and I’m going to join them and lobby for the justice that I want.”

“Eren, wait!” Armin warned. “Don’t be hasty about this.” He pulled Eren to one side, away from the press at the door. “I know that you’re upset with my decision, and I understand that. I can only hope that one day you’ll come to understand my point of view. But please, be careful about what you lobby for.” He pointed to the direction of the courthouse door, which was still flung open, so that Kaiser and his mob were in full view. “To those people out there, you and Annie aren’t any different. If their protest is recognized, whatever fate falls on Annie may come back around to you someday.” Eren sobered quickly, as he considered Armin’s advice. “Please think about what I said today, Eren. There isn’t much difference between you and Annie, except for the circumstances under which you gained your abilities. Under different circumstances, you might have turned out just like her.” Satisfied by Eren’s change of heart, Armin finally released him. At Marlo’s instruction, he slipped out through a back door, avoiding the assault of the mob outside. When he was finally able to hire a brougham, he pulled the curtains closed and settled down for his ride back to the Headquarters.

*              *              *

Armin was exhausted by the time he had returned to the Headquarters. He hadn’t slept at all the night before – after he had recovered from Eren’s verbal assault, he had stayed up until the wee hours of the morning compiling his appeal statement. The sun came up shortly thereafter, so he made his way back to the courtroom, for one last conversation with Annie, in case his appeal was denied. As he climbed the stairs to the Headquarters’ third floor, he looked forward to retreating to his office, locking the door, and settling down for a nap until he was fit to resume work.

However, when he finally arrived at the door of his office, he found another small mob waiting for him there. To his dismay, Mikasa seemed to be commanding them. Several other officers were standing with her. Jean was waiting there as well, but he stood a few feet off with his arms crossed, and his face set in a frustrated frown.

“Take a look at what you’ve done, Armin,” Jean accused him. “They won’t even let me into the office, because they think that I was in on this little scheme of yours.”

Armin stormed past Jean and over to Mikasa, feeling completely exasperated. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Armin, we don’t believe that you’re capable of leading us as our Commander at this time,” Mikasa told him staunchly. “We’re not going to permit you through to your office.”

“Mikasa, you’re leading these soldiers in an offense against an officer appointed by the Crown! Do you have any qualms at all about what you’re doing?”

“No more than you had in the courtroom today,” Mikasa shot back, her eyes cold and angry.

Armin turned away from Mikasa, until he was facing Jean. He felt completely drained of energy, and wholly unwilling to fight anymore.

“Go home, Jean,” he said. “We’ll meet at court tomorrow.” He then walked down the hall, slowly making his way to the stairs, until Jean called for him to stop.

“I hope you know what you were doing today, Armin,” Jean said when he had caught up to him, “because I don’t think that all this uproar was worth it for one girl, whatever you might think of her. I hope you realize that you’ve really screwed up both our careers. Everything we do from here on will be judged against what you did today – that is if they don’t throw us both out of the military.”

Armin stared at Jean mournfully. “You don’t support me either, do you?”

“Of course not,” Jean grumbled, “but I respect you as my superior.”

“Thank you for your support,” Armin sighed. “I’m terribly sorry.”

Jean had nothing more to say, so Armin trudged out of the Survey Corps’ Headquarters. He started walking in the direction of his home, but paused suddenly, wondering if perhaps there was some other mob, or even an ambush waiting for him there. Instead, he turned around and walked away to find a carriage that would take him to the only safe place he could think of.

*              *              *

“Welcome, Commander Arlert!” the young woman stepped aside for Armin to enter the hall, a broad smile stretched across her round face. She was dressed in a simple green dress, and her brown hair was twisted into her usual bun. “Please come inside, and remember to wipe your feet on the mat.”

“Thank you, Brigitta,” Armin replied. “You must be the only person in the world who has a smile for me.”

“Oh?” Brigitta’s smile faded quickly. “Court didn’t go well today?”

“It could have been much better,” Armin sighed.

“I’m so sorry to hear,” she replied, as she led Armin into the living room. “Please make yourself comfortable. The Captain will be with you shortly.”

Armin sat in the overstuffed couch, and allowed himself to sink between the plush cushions, while he waited for Levi’s arrival.

Levi was one of the few Scouts to have survived long enough to be awarded an honourable discharge and a lifelong pension. Armin mused that he well deserved it too, as he reminisced on Levi’s final expedition, and his narrow escape from a titan’s jaws. He could still visualize the image of the injured captain as he lay in the wagon on his improbable journey back to Trost City, half his body torn to shreds, and literally holding himself together. Why Levi had chosen to stay in Trost was beyond Armin – he imagined that if he was fortunate enough to retire, that he would move to the inner city, where he would hopefully never lay eyes on a titan again.

After some time, he heard the tapping of Levi’s crutches against the tiled floor. He lifted his gaze, and watched the Captain making his way towards the doorway, his housekeeper following a few feet behind him in case he needed any assistance. Despite his slow advance, Levi was able to make it into the living room and onto the couch next to Armin. Brigitta waited in the doorway for instructions.

“Bring us some tea, Brigitta,” Levi requested, after glancing at the dark circles under Armin’s eyes. “Something sedative.”

“Yes, Captain,” Brigitta said before hurrying away to the kitchen.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Armin heaved a heavy sigh. “Court was terrible today, Levi,” he groaned.

“I know,” Levi said. “I saw everything.”

“I didn’t see you,” Armin replied, surprised.

“You wouldn’t have – I was up in the balcony.”

Armin didn’t bother asking how Levi had managed to make it up into the balcony of the courthouse. The retired Captain had made it clear long before that he wouldn’t be held back by anything, not even the loss of a leg.

“Is it true what Kaiser said? Do you think I’m a terrible leader?”

“Maybe you are,” Levi answered, “but you’re still no worse than Erwin was.”

“What are you talking about?” Armin asked. “Erwin was a great leader. Everyone respected him.”

“Perhaps your grief for him is distorting your memories,” Levi replied. “Many of the scouts respected Erwin, but the same can’t be said for the wider population. Besides, most of the people that showed undying loyalty to Erwin were low-ranking soldiers who weren’t exposed to the raging madman that Erwin really was. Those of us that worked closely with him knew much better.”

Armin stared at Levi, astonished. “How can you talk about him like that? The Scouts made huge advancements under Erwin’s leadership.”

“That’s true, they did. But a lot of those advancements came about because of decisions that only a madman like Erwin could make – a madman who was so maniacally focused on his goal that he was willing to make any sacrifice to achieve it. The truth is, Armin, nobody who really knew Erwin was in love with him all the time. In fact, I probably spent more of my career hating Erwin than loving him.”

The men paused speaking when Brigitta returned with their tea. She set down a sparkling silver tray before them, which was arranged with delicate china tea service for two, along with a small platter of eclairs. Armin smiled gratefully, while Levi expressed his thanks. After the housekeeper had left the room, Levi reached for the honey and sweetened his tea, exclusively using his right hand. His left arm, though still attached, was only minimally functional, and not suited for delicate operations such as manipulation of the tiny silver teaspoon. Armin sipped his own tea while he watched the Captain discretely, silently marveling at the man’s determination. When the tea had been sweetened to his satisfaction, Levi gripped the cup at the rim and drank some of the tea, before continuing to speak.

“You’re already aware of the circumstances under which I joined the Survey Corps,” he said. “I was blackmailed into it by Erwin himself. I already hated him for being a privileged upper-world yuppie, and losing my only two friends, in an expedition I’d never wanted to join, didn’t exactly give me fuzzy feelings for him, either. I really tried to trust him, but he always made it so difficult. He didn’t seem to care about the soldiers that looked to him for direction. There wasn’t anyone that he was afraid to lose. It was always about the titans, about the government, about the expeditions. He was so consumed by his own goals that he had lost the ability to care about the people he was putting into harm’s way. He'd lost all his capacity for sympathy and remorse – at least, it seemed that way while I was still angry with him. When the dust had settled and the wounds had healed, then I could think about things more clearly, and I would understand that Erwin wasn’t uncaring – he was looking far ahead at something that the rest of us could barely see. He understood that if he was to achieve that goal for most of us, he would have to sacrifice some of us along the way. He hadn’t stopped caring about the minority that was dying, but he was focused on the majority that would live on.

 “I wasn’t the only person who was at odds with Erwin from time to time. Lots of us couldn’t see eye to eye with him. Zoe was often frustrated by the restrictions that he placed on her research. Mike would be insulted when Erwin held information back from him. However, our feelings were only temporary. We learned to trust Erwin, even though we didn’t always like him.”

“I understand,” Armin murmured thoughtfully.

“I should warn you, though, that some of your disagreements will be lasting,” Levi went on. “Some wounds don’t heal. I still miss Farlan and Isabel, just like I miss my old squad. Even though Erwin is gone now, I still get angry with him from time to time, for forcing them out of the underground city with me, just to bring them out here to die. There are plenty of days when I still wish he hadn’t dragged the Corps out into the Forest on a suicide mission.

“Maybe this is going to be the first of such by your hands. This trial has reopened a lot of old wounds. For your old training division, it’s stirred up of a lot of old feelings of anger and betrayal. Some people, like Kaiser, are being forced again to deal with unresolved grief. Some people are just afraid, now that an old threat is awake again. In addition to all of that, the timing for this whole thing is just wrong. Even without things like this happening, a change of leadership is always scary. In an organization built on trust, like the Survey Corps, it’s like getting the foundation under you pulled out and replaced with something new. People get scared and start pulling all sorts of stunts just to make sure that you can actually carry them as well as the old foundation did. Don’t take it personally – it happened when Erwin took command of the Corps, and it will happen again when your successor takes over after you.

“If your friends are really your friends, they’ll forgive you when this is all over. For now, just let them feel what they want to feel. You can always deal with it afterwards.”

“Thanks,” Armin said. “That does give me some perspective on the whole thing.”

“Erwin never let people’s opinions get in the way of his decisions,” Levi concluded. “That’s not to say that he didn’t get hurt by the things people said, but he was so sure about what he was after that he was willing to risk the loss of some friendships. When you decide on something, once you’re sure it’s worth the risk, stick with it until the end. People will respect your confidence – it will show them that they can trust you to follow through on your decisions.”

“Thank you,” Armin said again. “Say Levi, how did you feel about the appeal today?”

“If I told you that,” Levi replied, “I would be undoing everything I just told you.” Armin’s heart sank. “Don’t worry about what I think. You’re the Commander now. If you go back on this now, people will never take you seriously again. If you really believe in it, follow through until the end.”

Armin finished his tea, then strode over to the large bay window. Levi’s home sat on a small hill on the outskirts of town – a convenient location that made it easy for him to enjoy all of the city’s amenities, while allowing him to dwell peacefully, away from the hustle and bustle of the heart of the city. He gazed out at the gardener, tending to the immaculate grounds, then down at the empty street. As he stared vacantly, his mind wandered back to the riot at the courthouse, and he hoped that Jean had made it home safely.

Levi seemed to read his thoughts, from his seat on the couch. “As long as someone as relentless as Kaiser is at the head of the mob, it won’t be safe for you to go back to town. I have a spare room you can use for the time being.”

“Thank you,” Armin said, before raising his hand to conceal a yawn. “I think that tea is beginning to take effect. A nap would be refreshing right about now.”

Brigitta led him up to Levi’s guest room. Due to his difficulty in climbing the stairs, Levi slept on the first floor of the house, so the entire master suite was available for Armin’s pleasure. In addition to an adjoining bathroom, the suite included a comfortable drawing room, with a cozy reading nook.

“I’m sure I’ll be very comfortable here,” Armin said gratefully, before Brigitta left the room. When he was finally alone, he undressed, then climbed into bed, sighing as he prostrated himself on the soft mattress. His mind swam with thoughts of Annie, of Kaiser, and of Mikasa and Eren, but before long, he was unable to resist the effect of the calming tea, and fell fast asleep.