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Breaking point
I’m so tired. Between a mess with the benefits, medical bills and my own blinding incompetence- I’m trapped.
I’m sorry, everyone. I’m sorry for all the time you spent hearing me cry and panic. I’m sorry I dumped this mess on you. Your kindness is more than I deserve, I’m a fraud.
My body is lashing out at me again. I have little appetite, the headaches are almost every day- and when I do eat I’m woken up hours later by agonising stomach pains. I’ve had to skip meals before my shifts, I just can’t risk throwing up at work. I can’t blame it for reacting this way- my own insecurities
Im sorry TMD
I want to say I’m sorry to everyone on a certain server I’m in. I know I’ve made a fool of myself by whining about stupid things while others have real issues to talk about.
I’m sorry for going on and on about the same thing, like a stuck record. I’m not good at solving these “loops” I get into, and I know how frustrating people find me.
I’m sorry. I guess I’m just not the confident type. I’ve tried to be, but I get scared and often bail.
Len, I’m so sorry I bothered you so much. I don’t blame you for stopping responding to me. I just hope you’ll forgive me. Sketc
Ooh.
OK, update: the open art category hadn’t been ignored, someone at EQD just posted it, I guess it got overlooked. and as if if to bonk me over the head for being so upset, my doodle “Love Link” was a header image. I’m now stuck back in bed with a fever that’s decided to sneak up on me, so this is a lovely treat. So, thanks EQD, sorry I jumped The gun. iPad still don’t like DA, gah. I don’t think anyone read the other journal, but if they did, hi. As a mess suffering from anxiety, this means a lot. I’m still an amateur artist, but I’m sure I can improve sooner or later. Just gotta sleep....
Stay of execution
I apologise for the dramatic journal post before, things were getting so bad and I felt like I’d made an utter fool of myself. A lot of anger and stress with nowhere to go can be a dangerous thing, and I was going loopy. Additionally, it seems my blood sugar may be behind the dizzy fits I’ve been having. I had completely forgotten about that blood test that the paramedic did, where he warned I was on “the low end of normal“. I am doof. I’m feeling better now, been keeping an eye on it. Sweet merciful crap, DA does not like the ipads keyboard for some reason.
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Good luck! I hope things go well!