Theme Prompt - Ebony Water

The last sight he had was of a brown head sinking below the water, arms raised as if embracing the grave the water would soon become. Dean felt his heart clutch in his chest, sorrow, betrayal, and anger roiling in his belly. They could have fixed this. There could have been something they could have done. Instead, Cas had chosen to do the stupid, noble thing and sacrifice himself.

He stood on the bank with Sam and Bobby, watching the water swallow his friend. Perhaps this was the end now. The word Cas has spoken, Leviathan, reverberated through his head. What was it? Would the water kill whatever it was that had possessed his friend? A few moments after Cas’s head sank below the water, a silent explosion ripped through the water. There were no physical shockwaves, though it felt like there should have been. Clear blue water turned ebony, threads of darkness and shadow growing from the spot Cas had disappeared. And then they shot off, the ebony water turning clear again. Cas was gone.

“No,” Dean breathed to himself, so quiet that neither Sam nor Bobby heard him. “Cas.”

They stood on the bank for another few minutes, shocked and mourning the loss of yet another friend. Sam and Bobby turned away then, Bobby patting Dean’s shoulder consolingly, before heading back to the car. Dean stayed for a while longer, the weight of unsaid words holding his feet in place. Until the water lapped towards his feet and a stained, ripped trenchcoat drifted to a stop right in front of him.

Moving slowly, Dean reached out and picked up the trenchcoat. He studied it for a few moments, fighting back tears gathering in his eyes. Then, with deliberate movements, he folded it up into a ball and tucked it under his arm. If this was all that was left of Cas, he would take it. He would take it and keep it safe, just on the off chance the angel came back again. He’d done it before. Surely he could do it again, right? Sam, sitting in the passenger seat of the Impala, saw the trenchcoat and nodded to Dean without saying anything. Dean was grateful for that. He was holding onto his composure and control with the finest of threads. Any words of comfort or consolation bright snap them.

He packed the trench carefully in the trunk, placing it with the rest of their gear, safely under the fake bottom. He patted it once, fingers lingering for a moment before closing the trunk. They drove off without a word, leaving behind the grave of a friend. Again.

The first time Dean prays to the trenchcoat (to Cas) is when they have to mothball the Impala. He hides her in a garage and draws a tarp over her to protect her from dust and weather. Everything they needed from the trunk was already transferred to the beater Bobby had provided them. That it ran was the car’s only saving grace. Dean had saved the coat for last, hesitant to touch it and also wanting nothing else in the world. When he finally picked it up, still in the ball he’d folded it into, the prayer had fallen silently from his lips.

Cas, man, are you there? I know you kinda, you know, exploded but you can come back, right? You can make it back, you did before. We need you, Cas. Please.

Silence had greeted his prayer. No sound of whirring wings or the slightly sardonic “Hello Dean” that Dean always swore had laughter underneath. No Cas. Instead, there was Sam gesturing to Dean to hurry. He didn’t see the trenchcoat Dean was holding but he knew what Dean had saved for last. But they didn’t have much time. They were being hunted and they needed to get out of here. Dean sighed and moved the coat to the beater’s trunk, placing it in a corner out of the way. Then they drove off, just ahead of their pursuers and heading to a case that might help them fight Leviathan.

Over the next several months, they changed cars a few times. The trenchcoat changed homes each time, Dean carrying it with hands that shook more and more the longer Cas didn’t come back. He continued to pray to it, every time they changed cars and, increasingly, at night hoping that Cas somehow heard him. Where did angels go when they died anyways? Cas never talked about it and they hadn’t been on good enough terms with any of the other angels to ask. Did angels have their own version of Heaven? Is that where Cas was now? Or did they just.... stop, cease to exist?

Cas, you stupid son of a bitch. Why the hell did you think working with Crowley was a good idea? He’s a demon for chrissakes! And look where it got you! You’re gone, you’re probably dead. You should have come to me you bastard!

Look, Cas, I’m sorry about screaming at you. I was angry. I mean, I’m still angry but I was raw with it. You should have come to me. We could have worked things out, fixed things. You didn’t have to work with Crowley. Please come back, Cas.

I cleaned your trenchcoat for you. Some of the stains are never going to come out, at least without dyeing it or angel mojo, but it’s clean. Even repaired the rips though I stabbed myself a few times with the needle. This is the third beater Sammy and I have had to switch to. I don’t know how they’re doing it but the Leviathans always find us. They’ve infiltrated the police now and are looking for us. There’s another job a few states over and we’re parked in a forest somewhere. Off the road so no one can find us. This one looks promising, maybe give us a leg up on the Leviathans. Cas, where are you man? Can you even hear me?

I don’t know why I’m still bothering. You aren’t coming back are you? Everything got fucked up and you died. For real this time. God, Cas, didn’t you know I would help? You’re family. Even if I was out, I would have helped. Fuck. I should just dump this damn coat and stop praying to you. You’re gone, really gone. Fuck.

Damn it, Cas! Answer me! You have to be out there. You came back before. Lucifer freaking exploded you and you came back. You gotta come back. Please. That’s all I ask. We can fix things if you com back. We’ll get a second chance. Or third, really. Fuck, just come back. Please?

Sammy’s really sick. He tries to hide it but I know him too well. He hasn’t slept in so long and, when he does manage to catnap, he struggles against something in his head. I know it’s his memories, what Lucifer did to him in the cage. I keep thinking, you know, what if you came back? You could help him. One touch to the forehead and poof. Maybe. I mean, it took Death to wall the memories away, you know? And I don’t want you thinking helping Sammy is the only reason I want you back. It’s just... he’s my brother and I don’t want to lose him... like I .... lost you. Please, Cas, just one sign. Let me know there’s hope. Give me a hint of how to help Sam.

Thought about you a lot today. We had a case I think you might have enjoyed. A guy’s mom was a hunter, finding and hiding away cursed objects. Dumbass opened up the spelled and warded safe and started selling the objects. Sammy and I managed to keep a ton of people from dying but the Leviathans were tangled up in it too. Managed to survive because they aren’t a cohesive unit like we thought. Apparently, it’s a Leviathan eat Leviathan world out there. One of the cursed objects was an old playboy and boy, did I want to flip through that. It wasn’t a good idea but I wanted to. And there was a pair of ballet slippers. They kinda outed me on my love of ballet but hey. When you got the ass for tights, you got the ass for tights. Never would have been able to go into it but I think it might have been fun. You need a lot of strength and balance and determination. I got those in spades. You come back, you can tease me about it if you want. I can just see you with that little smirk and the silent chuckle. Come back, Cas. I need you.

Seventh beater and things are going to Hell, Cas. I keep moving the trenchcoat, keeping it safe for you. Sammy’s in the hospital. Checked himself in and there’s nothing I can do for him. I’ve been reaching out to other hunters, hoping for a miracle. Maybe one of them knows a healer or something. Even some dude healing people by controlling reapers would work right now. Something to help him. I got a call from one that there’s a guy healing people the state over from here. He does it for free, too, and the hunter I talked to said he’s the real deal. Helped his eyes so he can see again. Emmanuel or something like that. So I’m heading there hoping to convince the guy to come back and help my brother. Wish you were here, Cas, I really do. I could use a partner and a friend.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit! I don’t know how this is happening but it is. Emmanuel is you! You came back, you’re really here. But you don’t remember me, don’t remember anything before you were found by her. So I’m praying again, here in the depths of my head. You keep tilting your head like you’re hearing something but can’t quite catch it. Are you hearing my prayers Cas? You agreed to help Sammy so I’m thankful for that. Now we just need to get your memory back. Need to get you back. Come back to me, Cas, all the way. Please? I’ve got your trenchcoat and I’ll give it back to you at the right moment. When you’re you again. Just remember and come back. Please? Because it’s almost harder having you here but not here. I need you man. Just come back..... I love you......