Heal Your Broken Heart

Henry was pacing Victor’s lab impatiently. It had been a long time since Victor had left and he was starting to get a little worried. The drug should have knocked Lily out in two breaths, like he’d reassured Victor. Getting the woman back here shouldn’t have been that difficult. Besides, if any cab driver was curious about why she was unconscious, Victor could just lie and say she’d overindulged at a party. Where was he? What was keeping him?

Just as he turned to study the intricate collection of beakers and glass tubes, the door creaked open. Slow, dragging footsteps moved towards the lab and Henry held his breath. It was time now, wasn’t it? Victor had taken Lily and now he was going to change her back to the woman he loved. And he was going to lose Victor. Again. Henry let out the breath he held and took another deep one before putting a pleasant expression on his face. This was what Victor wanted and he would do anything to help him. But what met his eyes when Victor came into the lab was not the joyful man carrying his love that he expected.

Instead, Victor moved like a sleepwalker, barely coordinated. His eyes stared off into the distance, like he was seeing something other than the world in front of him. Those eyes were red-rimmed with the weight of unshed tears and his face was even paler than normal. Henry let out a quiet gasp and hurried to Victor’s side, grabbing his elbow before the strength went out of the other man’s legs. He led Victor to the bed in one corner of the lab, sitting him on it and kneeling in front of him to meet his eyes.

“What happened, old boy?” Henry asked quietly.

“She told me to heal my broken heart with someone else,” Victor said dully, shaking his head. “She told me that if she saw me again, she would be wielding the razor.”

“The razor?” Henry repeated, worry in his voice. “What razor? Victor, what happened when you went to see Lily?”

“She wasn’t alone in the house with Gray. There were others there, whores, I think,” Victor said, one hand rubbing listlessly at his throat. “One of them had a razor. She almost slit my throat. If Lily hadn’t stopped her.... I would have died there, Henry. She would have killed me.”

Henry swallowed hard, heart in his throat at the admission. Losing Victor, his friendship, was unthinkable. And knowing how close the other man had come to death was terrifying. He clasped his hands together on one leg in order to keep them from reaching out to Victor. When he was in control of his emotions again, Henry looked up and caught Victor’s eyes.

“What will you do now?” he asked. “Lily is beyond your reach it appears, old boy. Indeed, you said she would kill you next time. Do you really want to risk your life for the hopes of this experiment?”

“What would you have me do?” Victor asked, voice broken. “I love her, Henry. I loved the time we spent together, when she was innocent and young and mine. Do I just give up on that? On her? Especially when we know the cure works?”

Unable to sit still, even on legs still shaky from barely avoiding death, Victor heaved himself to his feet and started to pace his lab. All unknowing, he followed the path Henry had walked earlier, though without seeing any of his equipment. Henry stayed where he was, turning his body a little to keep Victor in sight. He’d seen his friend like this before, when they were in school together, only the energy was manic and full of study. It had been just before Victor had left, full of promises of ending death. Now, Victor was full of shock, sorrow, and fear. It was heartbreaking.

“She isn’t the same woman anymore and she won’t submit to becoming her again,” Victor said softly, almost to himself though loud enough for Henry to hear. “She said she was only waiting while we were together, that she wasn’t happy.”

“Then perhaps it is time you move on,” Henry offered. That stopped Victor in place, his head swinging towards Henry with anger in his eyes. Henry shrugged. “You cannot make someone love you back, no matter how much you feel you love them.”

“And the experiment? We just abandon it?” Victor demanded, swinging a hand out dramatically and barely missing a large beaker full of clear liquid.

“No, we use it, just not on Lily,” Henry replied, shaking his head. “What we’ve accomplished can help so many people in Bedlam. It’s not a waste merely because you could not use it on the patient you wanted.”

Victor huffed out a broken chuckle and started pacing again. Henry was right about that much, at least. It had helped the man they’d experimented on, though he’d forgotten quite a bit. Still, he wasn’t violent anymore and he wasn’t going to try and assassinate the Queen again. Perhaps all was not lost, when it came to the science of it all. His heart, though, that was another thing. When his pacing brought him back to the corner with the bed, Victor dropped back down on it and rested his head in his hands.

“Heal my broken heart with someone else,” he repeated, voice broken. “I love her, loved her. Who else is there?”

“There are those who care for you, old boy,” Henry said carefully, daring to put a hand on Victor’s knee in sympathy. “You just have to look.”

“Oh really? And where are these people, Henry, that care for me?” Victor asked, scoffing. “I don’t see them lining up outside, do you?”

“Maybe not lining up outside but right in front of you,” Henry replied, voice more breath than sound. Seeing Victor like this, so depressed and hurting, dragged the words out of him. There, he’d said it. He held his breath again, waiting to see what Victor would make of what he said. Time passed in a slow silence then Victor lifted his head.

“Right in front of me?” Victor repeated, head tilting a little to the side as he studied Henry. “You? You’re my friend, Henry, I know that. But how can I heal with a friend when my broken heart needs love?”

“You think I don’t love you?” Henry asked. Well, he’d gone too far to back out now. He leaned a little closer, squeezing Victor’s knee. “You never looked, my friend. So look now. See and decide.”

Victor continued to study Henry, eyes widening at the sincerity on his face. Now that he was taking the time to actually look at his friend, not just the work they might do together, he could see it. He could see the love on Henry’s face, could remember the things Henry had said that he’d never picked up on. The double meanings that declaimed eloquently Henry’s love and understanding that it would never be requited.

But it could be. There was a part of Victor that loved Henry back. Maybe as a friend, for now. That didn’t mean it didn’t have to stay that way. He found a willingness to try that surprised him. That Henry could be more than a friend, more than his best friend, hadn’t crossed Victor’s mind before. He’d always concentrated on his work, on the goal that had turned out not to be the holy grail he sought but more of a curse. And then Lily but she had merely opened his eyes to the rest of the world. He’d loved her for it but he’d loved a made-up woman, a woman who was merely waiting. As she’d said. The chrysalis was open, the butterfly had flown. Both of them had.

“I see,” Victor said slowly, one hand raising to cup Henry’s cheek. “I see now.”

Henry tilted his head slightly into Victor’s hand, his eyes closing as his mouth opened on a silent gasp. He had expected Victor to say no, to deny feeling anything but friendly affection for him. Maybe even throw him out. But no, this was so much better than anything he might have expected. He smiled, opening his eyes to see Victor’s face. And to finally completely stop hiding the love he’d always hidden before.

“Heal yourself, Victor,” Henry said. “Make your heart whole again.”

They stayed like that for several moments, savoring the closeness they shared. Some of the ache in Victor’s chest eased and he breathed in the first deep breath he’d taken since the cold sharpness of a razor had pressed against his throat. Then, moving slowly to give Henry time to move away if he chose, Victor leaned down and pressed his lips to Henry’s. It was good, a soft and gentle kiss, and Victor knew his heart would heal. All it would take was the man in front of him.