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Theme Prompt - Arguing

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Steve followed after Bucky, shaking his head and holding back a tired sigh. This fight had taken a lot out of all of them but most especially Bucky. While Steve usually fought at Bucky’s side, this time the fight had taken him far away. Bucky had fought alone and one of their enemies had managed to rattle Bucky enough that it had taken Clint shooting the guy in the face with an arrow to save him.

And now, Bucky was being even more silent than he normally was. He was changing out of his uniform with a peculiar vehemence, slamming his weapons down and yanking at buttons and zippers. He dressed quickly, face a stormcloud of warring emotions.

“Buck?” Steve said, as Bucky started to leave the room. “You okay?”

“No,” Bucky spat back and walked away before Steve could say anything.

“Give him some time,” Clint said, coming into the room and sitting on the bench with a serious expression on his face. “I overheard some of what that goon was saying to him. It wasn’t pleasant.”

“Like what?” Steve asked, anger rumbling in his belly. “What did he say?”

“Typical villain stuff, at least at first. How Bucky was useless and a villain like him and we only allowed him here to keep an eye on him,” Clint replied, shaking his head. “Then he started saying this string of words. They made no sense to me but Bucky froze with this look of complete fear on his face. That’s when I shot the goon.”

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve said. The string of words was most likely the hypnotic trigger to make Bucky the Winter Soldier. He could understand Bucky’s anger now. And the fear that likely underlaid it. He patted Clint’s shoulder as he left to go search for Bucky.

Steve first looked in their bedroom, wondering if Bucky would have sequestered himself there. It was a haven for both of them when things were too loud or too big or too much. There were still things in this century Steve was trying to get used to. And Bucky had spent so long being a tool, a weapon and not human, that being human sometimes overwhelmed him.

But their bedroom was empty, the shades still open to let the warm sunlight filter in. There were other places Bucky might be but Steve headed to the gym next. They’d spent quite a bit of time here, sparring against each other and just training. On nights when Steve couldn’t sleep, he came down here and worked out against a punching bag. Bucky had found him here a few times and he’d done the same other nights when Bucky couldn’t sleep. His hunch paid off when he found Bucky at the punching bag, mechanically working through a series of punches. The bag was already starting to look a little bedraggled.

“Hey,” Steve said quietly, easing down onto the bench on the wall near the bag.

Bucky grunted in reply, swinging a vicious left hook that left a massive indent in the bag. His metal hand whirred quietly as he stepped back and took a breath. Then, he followed it up with a right hook and a series of quick punches that ripped a small hole in the bag. A little bit of sand dribbled out as Bucky stepped back again. But it was just for a moment to catch his breath. He moved back in towards the bag, hands flying and blurring as he leveled a series of vicious, quick punches. The last one ripped the bag in half, sand flying everywhere.

“Feel better?” Steve asked, chuckling quietly. He’d broken his fair share of punching bags. “I can get another one for you, if you like.”

“What are you doing here, Steve?” Bucky asked, glaring down at the pile of sand on the floor rather than meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Clint told me what happened,” Steve replied after a few moments. He got up and moved to Bucky’s side. But he didn’t touch him, not yet. He had a feeling he’d be shrugged off at the very least and possibly punched. “About the words that goon started to say to you.”

“I’m dangerous, you know that,” Bucky said, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. Not the metal one, which hung limply at his side. “I don’t know how he had the words. I thought they were gone with the book. But he had them, Steve. He almost had me.”

Steve didn’t answer right away. Instead, he patted Bucky on the shoulder and headed to the storage room. He grabbed another punching bag, came back, and hung it up. Then he stepped back and waited. For a handful of heartbeats, Bucky stared at the bag like he didn’t know what it was. Then he started punching it again, the same series of quick punches that had destroyed the previous bag.

“The Winter Soldier is not you, Buck,” Steve said over the sound of fists smacking the bag. “What you do under the control of others is not your fault.”

“But I remember everything,” Bucky hissed, slamming the bag with his right hand and hissing. He pressed it to his chest, waiting for the numbness to fail. That punch had been sloppy and he’d known it, though he’d thrown it with all his strength anyways. “I can’t get away from what I did as the Winter Soldier. And anyone who knows those words can throw me right back into it. Can make me hurt anyone. Even you.”

“Remember when you’d always save me from the bullies?” Steve asked after a silence that stretched just a little too long. “No matter where I was or who I was fighting, you were always there. You always saved me.”

“Yeah, that was a long time ago,” Bucky shook his hand and studied it for a moment. The numbness was gone and nothing appeared to be broken. But instead of punching the bag again, he just rested his hand on it. “I don’t think that’s me anymore. I’m not who I used to be.”

“But the man you used to be is still in you,” Steve argued, stepping closer to Bucky and resting his hand over his. Bucky stiffened for a moment then pulled his hand away. “It’s why I don’t think you’d actually hurt me. Even as the Winter Soldier. You’re still Bucky inside.”

“You don’t understand, Steve, not at all,” Bucky sighed and blinked back the tears that were burning in his eyes. It was frustration and fear and desperation, all in one. “When I’m the Winter Soldier, nothing matters but my orders. Anyone who gets in my way will be cut down without hesitation, without mercy. The Winter Soldier is nothing but a weapon designed to be used. I’m too dangerous to stay here. Not if others have the code words.”

Before Steve could reply, Bucky turned on his heel and left. There was a hunch to his shoulders as if he was expecting a blow. Steve could do nothing but watch him go, wondering what he could say to help Bucky. Things had been bumpy between them, especially as they’d segued into a relationship, but they’d always figured things out. This time, however, worried him. He knew Bucky as he knew no one else and knew when he’d reached his limits. Knew when Bucky was set on something and determined to see it through. What could he do to help this time?
Steve and Bucky have an argument. Enjoy and, as always, comments are :heart:

Arguments and Hope
Arguing Theme Prompt - Arguing
Making Up Afterwards Theme Prompt - Making Up Afterwards
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beatrix099's avatar
I loved reading the story it was amazing thanks for writing it