Hawaiian Honeyruin (Episode 9)

Don: Last time on The Ridonculous Race, we visited Count Dracula's creepy crib and everyone was scared silly. Well, almost everyone. Yes, the Goths felt right at home and Sam and May took to this place like ducks to water. The Ice Dancers won, again, while Noah seems to have developed feelings for Emma. Tom and Jen hit a minor bump in their partnership but were able to overcome it. Sadly, the Vegans we’re unable to make the cut and we said soy long to them. Who will lose this week? Find out today on THE RIDONCULOUS RACE! (Smiles into the camera causing a glare)

(Intro plays)

(We return at the Transylvanian Chill Zone from last episode. Don stands in front of a Don Box with the Ice Dancers behind him.)

Don: Welcome back. Yesterday's Chill Zone will be today's starting line. Yesterday's winners, the Ice Dancers, will start.

Josee: (grabs the tip and reads it) Take a donkey cart to the airport in Bucharest and take a flight to (she and Jacques smile widely) HAWAII!

Don: (he's seen in a slideshow of Hawaii) Hawaii! Home of beautiful sunshine, ukuleles, volcanoes, coral reefs and shirts that should only be worn ironically. (Don walks outside a Hawaiian airport) Once teams land, they'll need to find this Don Box. (He sees the Don Box is dressed with a tacky Hawaiian shirt. He glares and goes to his earpiece) Ha ha, very funny wardrobe. Who planned this?

(Back in Romania. The teams run to the donkey carts, they'll contain 3 teams each. They ride out for the airport. The first one contains Josee/Jacques, Emma/Kitty, and Owen/Noah. Josee and Jacques drive. In the back Kitty is playing charades while Owen is the one to guess.)

Kitty: (holding her fingers as a square)

Owen: Ooh, goal post, picture frame, box of candy.

(Confessional)
---> Josee: Playing games is for children, we stay focused on our goals at all times.
---> Jacques: I’m so determined I haven’t washed my boxers since the race started.
---> Josee: That’s not determination that’s gross!
---> Jacques: Well maybe some people think your rabbit’s foot is gross. Eh?
---> Josee: (cradling it) Don’t listen to him bun-bun

Owen: Cheesecake?

Kitty: (flexes finger) Click.

Owen: Oh, exploding chocolate cheesecake!

Emma: It was camera you fool! (To Noah) How do you put up with this all day long? (Notices he’s not paying attention to her) Hello? (Waves in his direction but through his eyes he sees her waiving lovingly at him)

Owen: You ok man?

Noah: My stomach feels funny.

Owen: Do you need to go to the bathroom?

Jacques: Hold on! (The three teams hold on as their donkey cart gets shaky. Josee's rabbit foot falls out of her pocket and falls off the road as they pass on. The next cart comes into view, it contains Chet/Lorenzo, Fabian/Jordan, and May/Sam. May and Sam are driving the cart)

Chet: (covers his nose) Man, this donkey stinks!

Lorenzo: I don't know, this donkey smells way better than you.

Chet: (glares) Take that back, loser!

Lorenzo: (glares back) Make me, nerd!

Chet: Well the donkey says you smell worse.

Lorenzo: Donkeys don’t talk!

Chet: Really? Cause you exist!

Jordan: God, how can these two keep on fighting? Don’t they exhaust themselves out being so bitter all the time?

Sam: One of life’s great mysteries.

May: No the real mysteries in life are why Adam Sandler, Donald Trump, and Tila Tequila are employed.

Sam: That’s no mystery, that’s America.

May: (laughs) Good point.

Jordan: (to Fabian) You’re not bothered by this?

Fabian: In a family of 5 daughters I grew used to the sound of bickering between siblings, but I’ve never heard two brothers fight before.

(We move on to the next cart. It carries Kelly/Taylor, Leo/Annie, and June/Quince. Leo and Annie drive the cart)

Annie: Doesn’t Hawaii sound like so much fun? Like Elvis’ Blue Hawaii or Lilo and Stitch.

Leo: Yeah, for once I’m very excited about where we’re going.

Annie: I’m just glad we get to spend some real time together. (To Taylor) Still, it must be fun competing with your mom.

Taylor: Yeah but I'd rather race with my dad, in all honesty.

Kelly: Taylor's more of a "Daddy's Girl".

Taylor: Me and Daddy have way more in common. We both like being successful and we both hate avocados.

Annie: (to the Julliard students) Did you two think about racing with your family?

Quince: My parents are on the run for jewel forgery. So I’ve been raised by my Aunt Emilie since I was 5.

Leo: Oh, I’m so sorry.

Quince: It’s sweet that you’d give your sympathies to them but don’t bother. They may have been responsible for my creation but they let their vices control them and abandoned me and almost never talk or contact me. My Aunt is my only parent as far as I’m concerned.

June: And Quince is pretty much the only one who tolerates me for extended periods since I left my parents to live with my cousins.

(Confessional)
---> Leo: Wow, I never realized Quince’s situation at home. It just makes me realize that I should be more grateful for the time I spend with you.
---> Annie: I’m always grateful for the time we spend together. (They hug)

(We move on to the next cart. It carries MacArthur/Sanders, Dwayne/Junior, and Gabriella/Nekota. MacArthur and Sanders drive the cart)

MacArthur: (the donkey farts) Whoa! Donkey! (Cheers and laughs)

Sanders: (covers her nose) Eww! That's disgusting.

MacArthur: (gets up) You challenging me donkey?! Alright but it's your funeral! (Points her butt to the donkey and farts at it) OH YEAH!

(Confessional)
---> MacArthur: I can't back down from a good, old-fashioned fart-down. It's a personal pride of mine. (Her stomach growls) Uh oh. Got another one coming!
---> Sanders: I'm out. (She runs ways)
---> MacArthur: W-where are you going? Come back! You're gonna miss all the action. (Farts but suddenly grabs her behind) Uh oh. Got a Code 6. Officer needs TP. (Runs off)

Junior: (Sighs)

Dwayne: What's wrong Junior?

Junior: It's just that we never really place high in the game very often and I feel like we could be going home soon.

Dwayne: (chuckles) Not to worry Junior, I have confidence today will be the day we win something. (Hugs Junior who feels uncomfortable)

Gabriella: Hey little man. Believe in your father, he seems pretty cool.

Junior: Really? If he was your father would you race with him?

Gabriella: If he was my father I’d have to race with him, because my dad is the only parent I’ve got.

Junior: What happened to your mom?

Gabriella: She’s a political prisoner and can’t leave the country of Uruguay.

Dwayne: She’s in jail?

Gabriella: No, she’s living at a flat in Montevideo. But her green card was revoked so she can’t come live in America.

Junior: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. You must miss her all the time.

Gabriella: Well that’s why Skype was invented. Well not for that specific purpose but we use it to talk all the time.

Nekota: Don’t take your parents for granted man, there are many other kids who would kill to have a father like yours, simply because they don’t have one.

(We now move onto the next donkey cart. Aaryn/Yves, Geoff/Brody, & Syd/Dani are in it. Syd and Dani drive)

Geoff: So you two had to outrun an explosion?

Yves: Yeah and the smell of burnt hair was lingering in the house for days. We were in no real danger anyway. The explosion was specifically designed to detonate after we had stepped off the platform.

Aaryn: Fun fact: the chemicals used in the explosion where Ammonium nitrate and Manganese heptoxide.

Brody: Dude epic! (Aaryn and Brody fist bump) So how come I’ve never seen your photos?

Yves: It wasn’t for a real ad campaign, just a shoot for the show. We had to look like we could be on an action movie poster, I was 1st called for women.

Aaryn: I was 3rd place for men.

Dani: Syd are you excited? Our alliance is working great and we’re going to Hawaii! Think about the Mai Thai’s and macadamia nuts, oh and poi. Never had it but I’ll definitely try it.

Syd: Yeah mom, looks like you’ll get that 2nd honeymoon you never got to have.

Dani: Honeymoons are for newlyweds, you and I are going on a trip around the world.

Syd: Remember mom it’s not a vacation, this is still a competition.

Dani: Yeah, yeah. Just remember, Hawaii is a place where dreams can come true.

(Confessional)
---> Syd: Okay, so my plan is that while I’m in Hawaii I tell Aaryn my feelings for him. It’ll be the perfect setting, so long as a volcano doesn’t blow.

(We now move onto the next donkey cart. Crimson/Ennui, Carrie/Devin, and Mary/Ellody are in it. Crimson and Ennui drive.)

Crimson/Ennui: (Both sigh sadly)

(Confessional)
---> Crimson: We're sad that we're leaving Transylvania. It feels like a second home.
---> Ennui: And now we have to leave Romania for a tropical island full of sunshine and happiness? (They shudder)

(Devin is sleeping while Carrie talks to the geniuses)

Carrie: So how do you two feel about your chances so far?

Ellody: Brimming with excitement.

Mary: We may not be as athletic as that Ice dancing team or that couple that hangs out at the gym but we can easily outthink anyone in this competition. So what’s your major?

Carrie: Oh, I’m not in college yet. And even if I was I wouldn’t know what to take. I really like the silent spring and maybe I could do something with that.

Ellody: Environmentalism? At least choose something worthwhile like chemical engineering or coding.

Carrie: But I don’t think I can do either of those things well.

Ellody: Very well, it’s your life to waste.

(Confessional)
---> Carrie: I want to like Mary and Ellody but I feel like they think that their brainpower automatically puts them ahead of everyone. Some of the people here are smart, it’s just that everyone’s not smart academically.

(Now we're at the last donkey cart. Ryan/Stephanie and Tom/Jen are on this one. Ryan and Stephanie are driving.)

Stephanie: Is there a whip anywhere?

Ryan: I don’t see one.

Stephanie: (Glares) Well look harder!

Ryan: What? I really don’t see a whip.

Stephanie: Just shut up and let me focus on driving!

(Confessional)
---> Stephanie: I’m not normally competitive.
---> Ryan: (under his breath) Yes, you are.
---> Stephanie: But hey, it’s a competition, so yeah. (Shouting) When the going gets tough of course we’ve got to kick it into over drive and get competitive to win!

Stephanie: (to the donkey) Hey Horse wannabe. You know how important this? We are not gonna come in last place because of you so MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!

Tom: (He and Jen lie way in the back of the cart) Ugh, she’s so loud. Why didn’t we ride with another team?

Jen: Let’s not complain and take this time to evaluate our strategy in private. We almost lost last time because we let something as silly as an argument over who started our blog get between us.

Tom: You’re right it was silly for us to let personal pride come between us. So what should we do now?

Jen: Let’s do what Aaryn and Yves did.

Tom: Form an alliance?

Jen: Not an alliance. We just work together with a team, they help us, we help them and either team can go ahead without the other if they need to. But with whom is the question. The goths?

Tom: Too creepy.

Jen: The cadets?

Tom: Too loud.

Jen: The Ice Dancers?

Tom: Have you seen their outfits?

Jen: Ugh, good point.

Tom: What if we team up with the models and Mother/son? We’ve already got a good rapport with Aaryn and Yves.

Jen: Nah, I think a third team might be too much for them to handle.

Tom: Well how about Carrie and her partner, they seem nice enough.

Jen: And they do have adorable clothes. Okay, we’ll team up with the best friends, and we still owe Carrie an answer to her question anyway.

(Confessional)
---> Stephanie: (holds up two plane tickets) We we’re so stressed about being last but it didn't matter cause all the teams were on the same flight.

(Confessional)
---> Jen: We need to do better after almost losing in Romania.
---> Tom: We’ll do anything to win in Hawaii. Even wear those tacky-ass shirts. (He and Jen shudder)

(The plane carrying all the teams lands in Hawaii. The teams walk into the airport and are greeted by a local giving away flower leis to the competitors.)

Don: (voice) As is the custom in Hawaii, teams are greeted with a lovely necklace made of local flowers.

Chet: (the local gives him the flower lei and giggles where he smiles) O-oh. Hi, I'm Chet. (He blushes)

Lorenzo: (the local girl puts a flower lei on him and giggles as well) Oh. (Blushes) Hey. I'm Lorenzo. Glad to see you're interested in a real man.

Chet: (glares and pushes Lorenzo) No way! She's into me!

Lorenzo: (gets up and glares at Chet) As if! She's into me! (He tackles Chet into the ground where they begin fighting. The local girl walks past them and offers flower leis to Annie and Leo)

Annie: Mahalo.

Owen: (he and Noah walk outside the airport) There's the Don Box! (They attempt to grab a tip but Emma pushes them out of the way) WHOA!

Emma: (Kitty shows up) We're getting this one! (Crosses her arms and glares) You guys might as well give up.

Owen: Oh boy, prepared to be "Noah'd"! Right Noah? (Noah's staring lovingly at Emma) Ummm, any second now. Noah?

Kitty: (reads the tip) It's a Botch-or-Watch. Whoever didn't do gymnastics in Romania must go diving for wedding rings? (Everyone looks confused)

Don: (He stands over the water on a wooden dock high above the water) In this challenge, Botchers must dive into Hawaii's most popular wedding bay and retrieve one of the rings from the bottom. Then swim to the tip of the beach of the bay to receive your next tip. (Points to some changing stations) Over here contestants will be allowed to change into their bathing suits for this challenge.

Emma: Let's go! (The teams run to the diving challenge. Noah is still staring at Emma lovingly)

Owen: (goes up to Noah) You okay buddy? (Lifts him up) Maybe it's rabies.

Fabian: Actually, Hawaii is the only state were there’s never been a documented case of rabies.

Owen: Well there’s a 1st time for everything. (He runs off with Noah over his shoulders)

Josee: (she and Jacques run to the Don box) Wait, somethings wrong! (Her eyes widen) Oh no! I lost Bun-Bun!

Jacques: Relax Josee. It's all just a silly superstition. We don't need that rabbit's foot to win. It’s like you said about my boxers

Josee: Then take off you’re lucky gitch then.

Jacques: (looks nervous) I know today will be our day again. (Runs off)

Josee: That’s what I thought.

(The teams arrive at the bay and head for the changing stations. A few teams are already done. Carrie/Devin, Ryan/Stephanie, Josee/Jacques, Emma/Kitty, MacArthur/Sanders, Geoff/Brody, and Owen/Noah wear their same bathing suits from canon Total Drama. Chet wears light purple swim trunks while Lorenzo wears dark purple swim trunks. Junior wears black and red shorts while Dwayne wears blue shorts with yellow flowers on them. Crimson and Ennui wear black wetsuits. Tom wears baby blue board shorts while Jen wears a stylish super cute sapphire tank suit. Aaryn wears a ginger colored pair of trunks with brown, orange, and green stipes while Yves wears a royal blue one piece with a yellow star in the center of her chest. Syd wears black, blue and white board shorts, you can see he’s got a comet shaped birth mark over his right pectoral, while Dani wears a black and white one piece. Leo wears dark blue and white board shorts with gold stripes while Annie wears a candy cane colored skirtini. Quince wears white shorts with red markings on them while June wears a black one piece with green, pink and orange stripes around her waist. Sam wears ultramarine short shorts while May wears a yellow skirtini with white plumeria flowers on it. Mary wears an ocher tankini while Ellody wears an orange one. Jordan wears a sky blue and white one piece while Fabian wears dark blue trunks with green leaves on them and a grey and blue swim shirt. Gabriella wears a black bikini top and black shorts while Nekota wears a black and grey jammer, he’s got a wave tattoo on his right pectoral. Kelly wears a golden tank suit while Taylor wears a beige tank suit.)

Sanders: (already outside) Come on, MacArthur! We need to move!

MacArthur: (Still changing) Hold on! Almost done. (She comes out and the bottom piece has polka dots) Ta da!

Sanders: (laughs) Nice polka dots.

MacArthur: What?! I thought they were bullet holes.

May: (Sees something) Oh dear god!

Jacques: (wears a small, pink glittery speedo) Like what you see? Jealous much? (Does some suggestive posing)

Sam: Define jealous. (Both divert their gaze and walk away)

(Confessional)
---> May: We blog about an anime concerning life guards where the main characters have spent a combined total of 24 minutes with their shirts on, but even we think that nobody looks good in speedo!
---> Sam: Yeah, even I wouldn’t date someone who dresses like that. And trust me my fashion sense is anything but normal.

(Everyone stands on the dock to jump. The ones doing this Botch-or-Watch are Jacques, Fabian, May, Ellody, Junior, Taylor, Yves, Jen, Annie, Quince, Nekota, Ennui, Dani, Geoff, MacArthur, Stephanie, Lorenzo, Carrie, Kitty, and Noah.)

Jacques: See you all at the Chill Zone! (Laughs as he does a perfect flip into the water)

Kitty: (looks down scared) Looks pretty deep....

Emma: Don't worry. Just pretend it’s the pool at Nana's condo except with less old people. (Emma pushes Kitty off the dock and into the water)

Kitty: (comes up) Hey! You pushed me!

Emma: It was a push of encouragement. Now get the ring! (Kitty begrudgingly dives down)

Carrie: (hugs Devin) For luck. (Giggles as she jumps down)

Devin: You're going to rock this! (Carrie blushes and smiles as she falls. She hits a rock instead of the water) Wow, I didn't mean literally.

MacArthur: (to Geoff and Lorenzo) Cannonball?

Geoff/MacArthur/Lorenzo: YES! (They jump at the same time and cannonball in the water)

Brody: WHOA! GO MACARTHUR!!! YOU ROCK SO MUCH!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!

Sanders: You know she's my partner, right?

Brody: (to Geoff) You did good too bro. Woo!

Chet: (rolls his eyes) Well Lorenzo's cannonball was weak.

Leo: Think you got this?

Annie: (climbs on Leo’s shoulders) I got this! (Jumps off her brother and into the bay) WOO HOO HOO!

June: Good luck man.

Quince: I don’t need luck! YEAH! (Dives into the water like crazy)

(Confessional)
---> Quince: I love to swim. Some people call me “Froggy” back home. Well that and the fact I do a pretty good impersonation of most frogs. (Whistles like the coqui then swims away)

Fabian: You’ll help me out right?

May: Of course. (Sam gives her a Swiss army pocket knife) What's this?

Sam: It's so you can defend yourself. There are probably sharks down there.

May: Thanks but i don't think i'll need it. (Puts it in her Victoria's secret compartment) Now, (Gives Sam her glasses) I’m young forever! (Cheers as she dives head first into the bay flashing peace signs)

(Fabian just cannonballs into the bay)

Nekota: Watch this. (Steps back then runs and does a perfect Olympic style dive into the bay. People on the dock cheer. Leo, Devin, June, Gabriella, Jordan, Sam, Chet, Sanders, Brody, and Emma all hold up scorecards saying 10. Josee holds up a scorecard saying 9. Nekota then throws an octopus at her.) Oops, it slipped. (Laughs then goes off searching)

Kelly: (to Taylor as she stretches) Maybe now should be the time you start jumping in the water.

Taylor: Chill, mamasita. (Smiles) How many swim trophies do I have back home? Like a million.

(Confessional)
---> Taylor: Daddy had to reinforce the wall so it could hold all my trophies. Plus, my swim coach told me I was the best swimmer he’d ever seen!
---> Kelly: I’m not sure he said precisely tha - (cut off)
---> Taylor: EVER!

Taylor: (smirks) I’ve got this. (She jumps but crashes and sinks into the water)

Kelly: (people look at Kelly) I might have exaggerated what her swim coach said to her just a tad. (Nervously laughs)

Ryan: Come on Steph, I know you got this.

Stephanie: Thanks, but save the pep talks for yourself because you’re the one that struggles. (Dives in)

(Dwayne and Junior walk up to Jordan and Sam. Junior notices all of Sam’s tattoos)

Junior: Are those all real?

Sam: Yep. (Spins around so Junior can see all of them)

Junior: Cool, you’re like a tattooed zombie.

Sam: (laughs) Oh thank you.

Dwayne: Remember what I said, no tattoos until you’re 20.

Junior: Yeah, yeah.

Dwayne: Now, have you eaten recently?

Junior: No dad I haven’t, I’m fine.

Dwayne: Well I just don’t want you cramping up.

Junior: Dad that’s just a myth. Hold my hat. (Gives him the hat and then jumps in)

Jordan: (spins around for Dwayne) Like my tank suit? The design is scientifically proven to confuse sharks.

Jen: I have to go swimming again? Salt water won’t do my hair any favors.

Tom: Think about the blog Jen.

Jen: You’re right, for the blog! (Jumps in perfectly)

Tom: You can do this! (Notices mother/son and the models arrive) Hey! (Waves)

Aaryn/Yves/Syd: Hey! (Waves)

Dani: Hello there, Thomas is it?

Tom: Just Tom.

Yves: Here goes nothing. (Steps back and jumps in like the gymnast she is)

Aaryn: There’s that gymnast I know.  

Syd: Good luck mom.

Dani: Thanks sweetie. (She jumps in)

Syd: (To Aaryn) So looks like we’re alone. Want to talk?

Aaryn: Sure.

Tom: Don’t mind me I’ll just be over here admiring the bay. (Quietly) And eavesdropping.

Syd: So what types of shows do you watch? (Noah passes them and jumps in the bay)

Ellody: Do you have my goggles?

Mary: I’ve got everything we need to win. (Gives them to Ellody and she puts them on and then gives Mary her glasses)

Ellody: Here I go. (Dives in)

(A few contestants are seen swimming around the bay looking for wedding rings. MacArthur, Kitty, Carrie, Annie, Fabian, May, Jen, Ennui, and Geoff are seen swimming around and looking for rings but can't seem to find any. Jacques grabs something but it turns out to be a squid that sprays ink all over him. Geoff looks around and accidentally grabs an eel which gets him electrocuted. Jordan, Sam, Gabriella, Josee, Brody, Sanders, and Chet wait on the dock and they see bubbles. Suddenly, Jacques comes out with a ring.)

Josee: (cheers) YES! (Everyone else groans) See you all at the Chill Zone! Losers! (Runs off laughing)

Geoff: (comes out of the water) Bro! I got a ring!

Brody: Awesome! Now head to the beach so we can get married! (Brody runs as Geoff swims.)

Stephanie: (Comes out of the water and glares at Ryan) Why aren't you helping me?!

Ryan: (rolls his eyes) It's a Botch-or-Watch meaning you're on your own and I’m all by myself, for once. (Laughs)

Stephanie: (growls) You’ll pay for that! (Dives back into the water)

Josee: (she runs) 1st place. Maybe Jacques is right. Maybe I can do this without Bun-Bun. (She trips then notices something in front of her) What?! (It’s a lava rock shaped like a trophy) It’s so light and warm. The energy, it’s beautiful. Come on! (Runs with the rock but then an elderly local man stops her)

Local: (glares) Don’t take that rock.

Josee: Why?! You have a whole volcano full of them!

Local: (storm clouds and lightning surround him) Beware, as the opposing forces of karma will defeat you. In the sunniest of times you will lose and you will get what you deserve when the time comes! (Josee looks around right as the storm clouds disappear)

Josee: Buzz off Grandpa! (Runs off and leaves the old man alone)

Local: (shakes his head) Kids these days. No respect for anything or anyone.

Don: (voice) As our first place teams race to the next challenge, more teams search for rings. Will any of them survive? (Shrugs) Maybe? I don’t know but the only way to find out is to stay tuned and watch THE RIDONCULOUS RACE!

(commercial break)

(A montage of the contestants underwater are shown. Quince looks under clams for rings. Lorenzo and MacArthur try grabbing two but a crab pinches their fingers. Kitty, Carrie, and Jen search a cave for rings. Ennui and Annie look around for rings in the seaweed. Fabian and May search around some coral for rings. Junior finds a ring but Stephanie attempts to steal it from him. Taylor sees this and goes in to get it for herself. A shark swims around them causing them to hold each other in fear. As it closes in, Ellody approaches the shark then rubs its snout which stimulates it’s ampulae of lorenzini. The shark is completely at her commands. Taylor and Stephanie look at each other confused. Suddenly they realize the ring is gone and Junior has taken it, both looked peeved at him as he swims up to the surface)

(Back at the docks, the watchers wait for their teammates. Suddenly, Junior comes up with a ring)

Dwayne: Yes! Good job Junior. Now swim.

Junior: Got it dad. (Swims)

Kelly: (Taylor comes out of the water with a ring) Atta girl! Now swim to the shore as fast you can okay?

Taylor: Don't sweat it mom! I'm serving this challenge with a side of Chipotle! (She starts swimming slowly. Kelly laughs nervously and just leaves)

Kitty: (comes out with a rings) KABLING!

Carrie: (comes out with Jen, both have rings) Got one!

Jen: Me too!

Emma: Good job Kitty!

Tom: Way to go Jen!

Devin: Carrie, you're amazing!

Carrie: (squeals and blushes)

Kitty: (smiles) Did you just squeal?

Carrie: N-no. I-I think it might have been a dolphin?

Jen: (smirks) I don't see any dolphins. (From behind her we see a dolphin jump out of the water with Annie riding on its back)

Kitty: (the three of them swim) OMG! You're in love with him!

(Confessional)
---> Kitty: I know when love is in the air. I have a super sensitive love detector and it's been going off a lot lately.
---> Emma: Yeah right.
---> Kitty: So, noticed any guys from the other team looking your way?
---> Emma: (crosses her arms) No.
---> Kitty: (starts making car noises that starts to annoy Emma until she leaves the confessional)

Carrie: (she, Jen, and Kitty swim) But we've been friends for so long and he has a girlfriend. So please just don’t say anything.

Kitty: We won't but maybe someone should. (She swims off as Carrie thinks)

Jen: Hey, mind if I swim along beside you?

Carrie: Sure no problem.

Don: (voice) As more teams take their rings and head out to the next challenge, some teams are still stuck in the bay. Meanwhile, the Ice Dancers say aloha to challenge one and aloha to challenge two.

Josee: (to Jacques) We're in first place! We can't lose! (Holds out the rock) Check this out! Nothing can stop us now! (Reads the tip) It's an All-In! In this Hawaiian wedding ritual, teams must walk on (gasps).

Don: FIRE! (He is seen walking on a trail of hot coals) Technically hot coals but fire sounds more thrilling. (Holds out a necklace made of leaves and a grass skirt with flowers) In this challenge, brides must wear grass skirts while grooms wear a wreath made of mahilei as they carry their bride over this path of hot coal. (Feels pain) Oof! It's a test of honor and strength! (The skirt and wreath are set on fire as he hops from foot to foot) If any part of the outfit gets set on fire, skirt included, it's back to the starting line! (Starts running and screaming) AUGHHHH! (Lands in front of the Ice Dancers with the lei and skirt burnt to a crisp) Once they reach the end untoasted it's a race to the Chill Zone. (The Chill Zone is seen near the water and some tiki statues. Don looks at his feet which are burned) Well, guess I have to take foot modeling off my resume! (Walks off pissed)

Josee: (starts putting on her skirt as she gives the leaves to Jacques) Hurry up! We need to move! (Geoff and Brody arrive)

(More teams are still searching for their rings. Noah sees two rings and smirks. Yves and Dani are looking for rings and find two on some coral. They take the rings and out comes a moray eel. They scream and swim up to the surface. Fabian looks through some seaweed, he gets the attention of May and gets her to follow him through the weeds. Nekota finds his ring on the tail fin of an angel shark, he removes it very carefully so the shark doesn’t get disturbed and then swims up.)

Syd: I thought that Hannah should’ve just admitted to Jake that she wasn’t ready for the full terms of marriage rather than just run away.

Aaryn: She did apologize and worked everything out the next episode.

Syd: Yeah but still he looked so dejected when she ran.

Aaryn: Well that’s life. Sometimes the only way you know what to do is when you can walk away and clearly assess the whole picture.

Syd: I guess. So have you been enjoying this time alone?

Aaryn: Yeah it’s been pretty nice.

Syd: Can I tell you something?

Aaryn: Sure.

Syd: Well we’ve worked so well before on previous challenges and we’ve discovered that we share so much in common. What with our enjoyment of girlfriends,

Aaryn: And the iron throne,

Syd: And boardwalk city,

Aaryn: And rebel riders,

Syd: And a lot of other shows HBOG. Not to mention the same like of indie rock music and David O Russel’s and Rob Marshall’s films.

Aaryn: Yeah it’s weird how much we have in common.

Syd: Yeah. Would you care to (has difficulty saying the next words) date me?

Aaryn: Sure.

Syd: (shocked by what he just heard) Really, really?

Aaryn: Really, really. (Gives affectionate gesture to the head)

Tom: (Has seen and heard everything) Aww! Wait why am I still here? I need to meet Jen at the beach. (Runs off)

Syd: That’s great! (Hugs him but then stops) Oh, sorry maybe I shouldn’t hug this early in the relationship. (Yves and Dani pop up) Oh, there are our teammates.

Yves: Let’s all move it!

Aaryn: I hear ya man. (He and Syd run off)

Dani: Boy isn’t it ironic? After pawning my original wedding ring I have to find one again just to stay in the game.

Yves: A little too ironic?

Dani: Like rain on your wedding day?

Yves: Or a free ride when you’ve already paid? (She and Yves laugh and swim off)

(Back at the bay, Gabriella, Owen, and Ryan wait on the dock. Stephanie comes up angry.)

Stephanie: (glares) There are no rings left! This is ridiculous!

Noah: (comes out with two rings) I got two! (He starts swimming away)

Owen: Yes!

Fabian: (comes out with ring) I found one! All by myself!

May: (Comes out with ring) And he found me another one!

Jordan: Good job! Start swimming!

Sam: See you all at the don-box! (The siblings run while May and Fabian swim)

Nekota: (Comes up with ring) Run for it babe! (Gabriella runs and Nekota swims off)

Stephanie: (to Ryan) Don’t give me attitude! (Dives back down)

Owen: (to Ryan) She seems nice. (He runs)

Noah: (he swims while Owen runs until something grabs Noah) AUGHHH! SOMETHING’S GOT ME! SHARK! SHARK! (Gets dragged under)

Owen: Oh MY GOSH NOAH! Somebody help him! (Cries) Why wasn't I born a merman?!

(Suddenly, Noah comes up with Annie. She was the one dragging Noah down)

Annie: Hey could you tell me where you found a ring? I still haven’t found any.

Noah: Well, I was going sell one for cash. (Gives Annie one of his rings) But here you go.

Annie: (smiles) Thanks! (Reveals she’s been on the back of a dolphin this whole time) See you at the chill zone, hopefully. (The dolphin carries her to the shore. Meanwhile Ellody passes by with her ring while on the back of the shark she tamed)

Owen: (gasps) NOAH'S DYING!

(Confessional)
---> Noah: (he's drying himself on the beach) I'm not getting soft or anything it's just that I felt sorry for her. (Sighs) Yes, lately I've been distracted by Emma but it's not something where I feel (starts blushing massively) warm and gooey like a fresh chocolate chip cookie and I suddenly want to do nice things for people just because I'm falling for some... (Realizes what he's saying) GAHHH! (Gets up and runs off screen) GIVE ME BACK THAT RING!

(Back at the lava rocks, Jacques is carrying Josee over his head peacefully)

Josee: That's it Jacques, moving ahead nice and easy. Just like the Olympics this is one huge mind game.

Jacques: (his eyes are closed while he walks) I know. This isn't too hard.

Josee: That’s right, you’re just walking. There are no coals.

Jacques: (stops. He notices his skirt is on fire) Uh oh! I forgot about the coals! (He drops Josee on the sand and runs to the water) AUGHHHHHHH! (He runs past Geoff/Brody and jumps in the water and sighs happily) Ahhhhh.

Geoff: (Brody is carrying him across the coals) Remember that time we paddle boarded off Delfino and we forgot our wet suits? (Shivers) So cold!

Brody: (in pain) Y-yeah keep it coming...

Geoff: And that day your tongue froze on that flagpole or when I poured that cherry slushy down your shorts?

Brody: (laughs) Dude, my body was frozen from the waist down for about a week. (They reach the end) We did it!

Geoff: First place here we come! (Runs to the Chill Zone)

Brody: Right behind you! (Jumps from one foot to the other) Man, I wish I could dunk my feet in some cherry slushy right now.

(As this happens, other teams are getting ready to do the walk on coals. Mary/Ellody, Tom/Jen, Gabriella/Nekota, Leo/Annie, Owen/Noah, Emma/Kitty, and Carrie/Devin put on their skirts or leaves.)

Carrie: Hey Kitty, could you tie this for me? (Pointing to her grass skirt)

Kitty: Sure.

Carrie: (to Kitty) So you think I should say something to Devin?

Kitty: Life is short plus he's really cute. Who knows? Maybe he feels the same way. (Carrie thinks as Kitty goes up to Owen) Cool, looks like we're grooms.

Owen: Not for me! My partner is a dead man.

Kitty: What do you mean?

Owen: (Noah is just staring lovingly at Emma) He's drooling, being nice, and not sarcastic at all! He’s gotta be dead.

Kitty: (smiles) He's not sick he just has a crush on my sister.

Owen: But, Noah is so awkward, and goofy, and.... (Realizes) OH! (Smiles) Oh. (He and Kitty laugh)

Kitty: Yep, that's one serious crush.

(Stephanie pops her head out.)

Stephanie: (glares) Now there are no more rings left! This is ridiculous!

Ryan: Maybe you’re just not looking hard enough.

Stephanie: What part of none do you not understand?! All gone, zero more, less than one, got it?!

Ryan: You’re race rage is out of control!

Stephanie: Race rage?!

Ryan: You act all sweet and kind but when it comes to racing you turn into a raging bull!

Stephanie: Bulls are male!

Ryan: Fine then, cow!

Don: (voice) As more teams arrive to face the coals, Mother and Daughter struggle to reach them. (Kelly waits for Taylor as she swims slowly)

Kelly: She's a tad faster with a flutter-board.

(Meanwhile, the other teams are figuring out who gets the skirt and who wears the lei)

MacArthur: (pushes the skirt away) Oh no, I don't do skirts.

Sanders: (deadpan) I had a feeling you might say that.

Junior: I can't wear the skirt. Everyone from school will see me.

Dwayne: Yeah but if I wear it you have to carry me. I'm sure it can't be that bad.

Junior: My classmate, Larry Finkle, spent all of last year being shoved into the girl’s bathroom just because his name rhymes with "tinkle".

Dwayne: (frowns) Oh...  (Laughs) Hehe, Tinkle.

Junior: (puts on the leaves and gets ready) Let's do this. (Is stopped by Sam)

Sam: Dude, gender roles and gender specific clothing are only a construct by society, and a recent construct at that. Who cares if you wear the skirt?

Junior: I do! And everyone at school will be watching.

Sam: Come on it’s not that big of a deal. (Gets an idea) What if I wear the skirt, then would you?

Junior: You’d seriously wear the skirt?

Sam: My involvement in the cosplay community and fan dedication to Rupaul’s drag race have taught me that it takes a real man to wear women’s clothing. (Puts on skirt and flower crown and places the lei on May.)

Junior: Fine, I’ll fulfill my end of the bargain. (Puts the lei on his father and hops into his arms) But what if people pick on me?

Gabriella: (Also dressed as the bride) Well then they’ll have to deal with me.

Junior: What’s so special about you?

(Gabriella grabs a big pile of sticks and snaps them in half with ease)

Junior: Cool!

May: (to Sam) Are you sure we should do it this way?

Sam: What’s the big deal, we’re the exact same height and weight.

May: Yes but I was relying on you to carry me so my hair stays out of reach of the coals.

Fabian: (He’s the groom while Jordan is the bride) I’ve got an idea.

Crimson: (She's coloring the skirt in black marker)

(Confessional)
---> Ennui: (while Crimson is coloring) She only wears black. Even if it's grass, it must be black.
---> Crimson: Yeah.

Chet: (he and Lorenzo stare at the skirt) Rock, Paper, Scissors for the skirt?

Lorenzo: Fine. (They do so and Lorenzo wins) HA! Enjoy the skirt, Skirt-face! (Laughs)

Taylor: (puts on the skirt) Of course you're going to carry me mom. (Kelly glares)

(Confessional)
---> Taylor: Do you know how much my gel Pedi cost?
---> Kelly: (miffed) Yes, because I paid for it!
---> Taylor: Hey I have leadership training. (Smirks) You're welcome. (Kelly glares)

Yves: (she’s the bride) Good thing we don’t rely on our feet to make money.

Aaryn: (Picks her up) That and the fact that you never know if it’s going to end up on a fetish website.

Yves: Dude, in all likelihood some of our pictures ARE on a fetish website.

Dani (is the groom): Ready Syd?

Syd: Shouldn’t I carry you? (Gets picked up)

Dani: Hey I was pregnant for 9 months. I’ve got this. (Looks determined)

June: You have to carry me. As a ballet dancer my entire life is built around my feet. I can’t risk any injury to them.

Quince: (putting on the lei) Yeah, yeah.

Leo: (to his sister) You ready?

Annie: Always ready! (Hops into his arms)

Carrie: We can do this! (Devin carries her while she blushes massively as he walks on the coals) Wow.

Devin: Let’s walk the line like Johnny and June! (Josee and Jacques attempt to run across the coals again with Josee as the groom but Jacques catches on fire and Josee throws him into the water.)

(Don is seen sitting on a big chair in front of the Chill Zone. His burnt feet are in a bucket of ice.)

Don: (sips his coconut drink) Man are these good! (Geoff and Brody arrive at the Chill Zone) Surfers, you're in 1st place!

Geoff: Awesome!

Brody: Yes! (He and Geoff embrace)

Geoff: I love you man!

Brody: I'd marry you all over again!

Don: I love weddings. And for winning you two get tickets to see Hawaii’s premier surfing competition, an island bar, and a year’s supply of macadamia nuts.

Geoff/Brody: Gnarly! (They high five)

(Back at the coals Tom and Jen are ready to go)

Jen: Ok, we can do this. (Tom picks her up) It’s just a walk over some hot coals.

Tom: Thank god these leaves go with my shorts. (Starts walking)

Carrie: (she and Devin finish) We did it!

Devin: Yeah we did!

Josee: Hey Best Friends! (They turn to see Josee/Jacques approaching rapidly) Move it or lose it! You too fashion police! (They quickly pass Tom and Jen)

Devin: Uh oh! Run! (Carrie/Devin run as Josee/Jacques start to catch up.)

(Tom and Jen complete the challenge and run to the chill zone)

Josee: (to Jacques) Believe in the lava rock and we'll own the podium! (As Jacques runs closer to the two, he trips on a rock and the Ice Dancers fall just inches before the Chill Zone) NO!

Don: Congratulations Carrie and Devin you take 2nd place! (They smile)

(The Ice dancers scramble but the fashion bloggers hurry past them)

Don: And 3rd place to the fashion bloggers! (They squee) Ice Dancers, (Josee/Jacques arrive) you've come in....... 4th!

(Confessional)
---> Josee: NO! We can't lose again! 4th place doesn't even have a medal showing how bad it is!
---> Jacques: (starts crying)

Lorenzo: (He's carrying Chet who's wearing a coconut bra. Chet's armpits are in his face.) Get your pits out of my face!

Chet: (smirks) Get your face out of my pits. (Lorenzo keeps going)

Junior: (Is being carried by his father) You holding up dad?

Dwayne: (stifling his pain) Fine and dandy!

Sam: (ahead of Father/Son) See, nothing to worry about. (May is carrying him while Jordan is holding her hair away from the coals as Fabian carries her.)

Fabian: Good thing my feet are so heavily callused.

Jordan: (sniffs the air) Does anyone else smell burning pork?

(Owen/Noah and Emma/Kitty are shown reaching the end. They both race towards the chill zone)

Don: 5th and 6th place! (They all cheer)

(MacArthur carries Sanders slung over her shoulders. Sanders looks uncomfortable. Aaryn and Dani carry their partners. Leo is carrying Annie piggy back style while June balances on Quince’s head. Quince struggles to walk steady. Nekota blazes past them all carrying Gabriella.)

Ellody: (to Mary as she carries her) Hot coals only burn if you stay on them for a prolonged period of time so the best thing is to just walk across them briskly at a speed of no more than-

Mary: That’s nice but don’t make me lose my concentration.

Don: 7th! (May and Sam arrive) 8th! (Fabian and Jordan arrive) 9th! (Chet and Lorenzo arrive) 10th! (Gabriella and Nekota arrive)

Taylor: (Kelly is carrying Taylor over the hot coals and seems to be in a lot of pain. Suddenly Taylor's skirt catches on fire) FIRE! (Kelly runs to put the fire out. Her mom dumps her on the beach and starts throwing sand on the fire. The sand gets in her hair) Mom! My extensions!

Kelly: I know sweetie but I need to get the fire out.

Don: (MacArthur/Sanders arrive) 11th! (Dwayne/Junior arrive) 12th! (Leo/Annie arrive) 13th! (June/Quince arrive) 14th! (Mary/Ellody arrive) 15th! (Aaryn/Yves arrive) 16th! (Dani/Syd arrive) 17th! (Crimson/Ennui arrive) 18th! And just like that, Mom and Daughter take 19th!

Kelly: Well Taylor, it wasn't easy but we're still in. (Smiles)

Taylor: (glares) Mom! We came in 19th place! You seriously need to step up your game!

Kelly: Taylor, we're a team and - (gets cut off)

Taylor: Listen. I know you're not used to winning, but that’s why I'm the leader and you listen to me!

Kelly: (snaps) Taylor you've never won anything in your life! NOTHING! Not one race, trophy or medal!

Taylor: (shocked) W-what?! B-but I have trophies and my coaches...

Kelly: You have all those trophies because your dad bought a trophy store! What kind of trophies come in the mail?! And guess who also paid your coaches and your teachers to say you're amazing at everything? That's right, daddy!

Taylor: Beauty pageants! I've won beauty pageants before! You can't fake those!

Kelly: (smirks) Oh sweetie, when you have enough money there's nothing you can't fake! (Taylor and everyone else gasps when they hear this. )

Don: (stands behind Taylor) The coals may have been hot but that was cold.

(Much later at sunset. Stephanie and Ryan are finally at the 2nd challenge)

Stephanie: (Ryan is carrying her over the coals) Just when I thought you couldn't go any slower!

Ryan: (growls) You know you shouldn't insult someone who can drop you on hot coals.

Stephanie: (glares) Do that and I'll tell everyone that your pecks are implants!

Ryan: (glares) MY PECKS ARE REAL! (They glare hatefully at each other)

(Camera cuts over to Devin and Carrie)

Devin: Man those two are some team. See that’s why I didn’t want to race with Shelley, if I did we’d be just like them, always arguing but that’s the good thing about racing with you. We can be friends forever and never change.

Carrie: Yeah, uh Devin? Listen I’m so glad that we’re here together and-

Jen: Hey, hey, hey! (The fashion bloggers approach them)

Carrie: Oh hi guys, what’s up?

Tom: Well we thought that maybe you and Devin might want to work with us.

Devin: You mean like an alliance?

Jen: No more like we just work together, you help us, we help you and either team can go ahead without the other if they need to.

Carrie: We’ll have to think that one over and get back to you on it.

Tom: Speaking of getting things back to you, we’ve got an answer to your question.

Jen: We both started the blog, it was a team effort. (She and Tom smile)

Carrie: Oh, that’s nice.

Devin: (Yawns) See you tomorrow?

Jen: Totally, night! (She, Tom and Devin head off to turn in for the night. Carrie follows Devin a bit sad she missed another opportunity)

Don: (the daters finally make it) Stephanie and Ryan I’m sorry but you’re the last team to arrive.

(Stephanie shrieks no)

Ryan: Well if we’re eliminated from the race, then you’re eliminated from this. (Gestures to entire body)

Stephanie: What?! You can’t break up with me on national television!

Don: International television, we’re pretty big in Eastern Europe. But I should tell you...

Stephanie: You can’t dump me! I dump you!

Don: Here’s the funny thing…

Ryan: Fine!

Don: This is a non-elimination round! Congratulations you’re still in the race! You live to hate each other another day!

Ryan/Stephanie: Fine!

Don: Tune in for more heartbreaking action only on THE RIDONCULOUS RACE!

(END OF EPISODE)