DotW: And if We Don't?

Thallo stood at the entrance of the den, peering into the darkness. While the warm and cozy burrow was strong with both his and his mate's scents, she was not currently in. And that meant that he had to wait for her. And that meant that they would have to talk.

He hung his head, heavy with remorse and thoughts laced with agitation, and walked inside and sat in his spot. His spot was bedded with pine, dry grasses, some cotton, and plenty of tufts of rabbit and elk fur. Her spot was on the opposite side of the den, organized to her liking. He kept his distance and never touched her spot, just as she respected his. Though he was not certain 'respect' was the right word for it. He scowled and pushed his distant mate Bronwyn from his mind to instead ruminate on the day's tasks to come up with his next plans of action for the next day. Life as a Keeper in Highvalley was relatively simple, but Thallo took his job very seriously. Protecting Highvalley and the Royal Family--including his own mate--was his highest priority.

He sat with his back to the entrance of the den and leaned against the wall. Try as he might to organize and calculate in his head the swiftest route to re-mark the borders that needed re-marking or delegating simpler tasks to the greener Keepers, his thoughts drifted, as they often did in this place. At one point in this den there had been a third bed adjacent to Bronwyn's, occupied by their spry pup. She was long gone, and none of the Keepers nor Seekers had ever reported any signs of her since her departure nearly a year ago. Thallo would never give up his search until he could be certain she was dead--or alive, however unlikely. But the void she left in their den and in his heart made his bones ache. Without a pup to train, to teach, to be responsible for, Thallo only had his tasks. And what good were tasks to serve and protect without a legacy to sustain the wolves of the future?

His eyes searched in thought in the darkness as the resolve settled on his mind. They needed an heir.



After a long day spent in solitude in the embrace of The Elders, Bronwyn made her journey back to the den she shared with her mate. She had not yet claimed a task within Highvalley and so spent her time wandering the mountain ranges. The Elders were her favorite - seeing such a vast glacier field through the mountains reminded her of home. Despite how she enjoyed her solitude, Bronwyn knew she was expected to take a task soon.

She entertained only one option - Seeker - though perhaps during first few months at Highvalley she might have considered being a Keeper with her mate. Now she spent as much of her time as she could away from him and when they were together they slept nearly as far apart as they could in the den. Bronwyn did not care for his presence - especially after the disappearance of their daughter. It was an especially sore spot for her and things had only deteriorated between the mates since.

It wasn't long until the den opening came into view. A small frown formed on her muzzle as she remembered that she would be welcomed by the empty bed her daughter, Robin, once slept in.

The she wolf hesitated at the opening. She could smell her mate in the darkness. Seldom was he in there before her. Bronwyn narrowed her eyes, knowing nothing good could be reason for his presence. Steeling herself further, she continued into the den and sure enough she could vaguely see the light pelt of her mate in the darkness.

"Thallo." She addressed coldly as she settled on her bed made of mostly pine, some moss, and down feathers bordered by the withered corpses of the promised flowers her mate gave her upon her arrival to Highvalley. The materials crunched beneath her as she shifted - her golden gaze on her mate as she awaited his business.



As she moved to her own island of solitude, the soft and inconsequential mutter of the dried Irises amidst her bedding was anguished screaming to Thallo's ears. He wished she had just thrown them out when he presented them to her upon their first meeting. They had been a token of love, but also one of distraction, a gift to look upon something that was not his asymmetrical face. It had not worked as he had hoped.

He retained his position facing toward the wall rather than Bronwyn. He had grown accustomed to sparing her the look of his face, as much as he spared himself from the pining in her beautiful eyes. He spoke softly in his stately matter, but never once let his tone drag into a lazy rasp. "Bronwyn," he greeted her as a statement. "You're almost always home before me. Have you finally taken a task?" Though genuinely interested in his mate's investment with the pack, his question was a testament to their relationship: they were hardly mates at all, rather, roommates who seldom found themselves home at the same time of day. He would work up to his true reason for waiting up for her, in due time.




Somehow the question struck a nerve but Bronwyn was quick to reel in any unwanted outbursts. Having quelled her emotions she answered her mate smoothly, "No."

The dark she wolf touched one of the flowers gently with her paw but a dried petal still fell away. She frowned at it. "I have considered becoming a Seeker as of late." Bronwyn was always one to uphold her duty and so it felt strange to wait for such a long time to decide upon one but the friction and rumors surrounding her daughter called for a careful decision.

A silence fell between the two for a moment as she found herself unable to come up with anything else to say to him. How distant they had become.

It wasn't long before Bronwyn found herself staring at Thallo's back, picking apart every unfavorable physical feature about him mercilessly. Why couldn't he have had the elegant features of many of his relatives - their sleek noses, long pointed ears, or their ideal physique? Instead she had been left with the cross eyed, dopey looking high blood beauty outcast.

Bronwyn sighed heavily. "How was your day? You're awake later than usual." She remarked dryly. The question was empty and she was certain Thallo knew it. It wasn't uncommon for the two to occupy the den together in complete silence as though the other wasn't present. Conversations like this meant there was a subject needing to be addressed and Bronwyn knew that she would not be able to sleep until Thallo spat it out.



The flatness with which she responded to her mate was entirely devoid of interest or engagement. For Thallo, it was normal. Neither of them enjoyed small talk, so when any subject either of them brought up had real pressing matters or consequences, the agony compounded. He often found himself quick to agree with her requests or needs simply to truncate their interactions and keep up the front they shared that described them as mates. They were anything but.

This time, he needed to make the request, and he could not take no for an answer.

"A Seeker," he repeated with slightly more inflection of consideration than she'd given him. On one paw, he was truly surprised; he had not thought Bron the adventurous type. On the other paw, he could not imagine a task more befitting for her, one that would allow her to put literally leagues between them for weeks at a time. His chest heaved a sigh and the black hole within him grew a tiny bit bigger. "About the seekers..." he began, choosing his words carefully to plant the seed, so to speak. "I spoke with cousin Vladimir this morning. He has granted us one fortnight of a Seeker's time to..." He turned to finally look at her. The fading light peeked into their den, illuminating her black pelt with its fiery glow. She was more beautiful than the day he first met her. He knew he was not worthy of her, but they were betrothed and they had a duty to fulfill to their packs. Finally, he continued, "We can still look--for any traces of her, Bron. A skilled Seeker might find something, if she's close by." He stopped his proposal short, not wanting to cloud any glimmer of hope she might have with his ultimatum just yet. With unfocused eyes he waited to see what she had to say.



Early on in their mateship, Bronwyn would forget how unsightly Thallo's face was and show the disgust the moment he'd turn toward her. Now, however, the image of his face was burned deep in her mind so when he finally looked toward her she held her cold expression.

Bronwyn met his gaze as she spoke, growing more guarded with every word. The she wolf bit her tongue as he spoke of their daughter. He had no right. He was there the day she ran - he could have stopped her but instead he'd just stood there. Robin was but a juvenile and he a full grown male. Still, Bronwyn did wish to find her daughter - the only thing she truly had in Highvalley. The she wolf kept her composure, careful to keep her grudge to herself but she was certain Thallo knew how she felt already from reading her body language. Whatever he lacked in looks he certainly made up for in intelligence.

"Then I shall seek permission to become a Seeker." The spark of hope within her burned. She wished with everything in her that they would find their daughter well but the mother feared the only thing that awaited her were her daughter's bones. Bronwyn changed her train of thought, almost outwardly wincing at the image. Even if she succeeded in being granted the permission she sought, she wouldn't be skilled enough to track her daughter without help.

"Who did you have in mind to help us?" With her solitary behavior, she shamefully knew little of which wolves held which tasks.

Bronwyn paused, debating whether to utter the words but she needed to know. "And if we don't find her?"



Her coldness did not waiver as he had hoped, but Thallo could hardly be surprised. The only atypical aspect of this conversation from any other was that it was growing lengthy. Often they went days without saying a word to one another, merely cohabiting a den together as entirely separate entities. No part of him blamed her for it, but he wanted desperately to turn it around. He knew their mateship would never be as he had fantasized when they first communicated via carrier pigeons those years ago, but he still held out hope that they could perhaps become friends again.

"Cora," he replied to her first question with mild uncertainty. Bronwyn kept mostly to herself, and Cora was new to Highvalley, a simple lowblood that Thallo scarcely knew. He did not mention she was the only seeker the pack could afford to place at their disposal. "She's one of the newer Seekers, but fully trained, I assure you." The addendum he used to stoke the fire of hope was entirely baseless, he had no knowledge of Cora's training or how quickly she could travel, but it was all that he had.

Her words stuck in him like the talons of an osprey. And if we don't find her? Was it serendipity or ill fortune that their future should find resolve, one way or another, in a mere matter of months--if not weeks? "If Cora does not find her," he parroted but within the context of their shallow two-week allocation to present Bronwyn with a forecast of her timeline, "then we are due for another litter. For the good of the pack."

'For the good of the pack,' he repeated the words in his head bitterly.




Any words she might have spoken were stolen from her along with her very breath as Thallo spoke of the alternative. She should not have been so surprised by it but still a part of her had hoped that Robin would be enough. Perhaps she would have been if the pack and her own parents hadn't driven her away.

Bronwyn turned away from her mate, her eyes squeezed shut as though to shut out the reality of her new situation. The thought of having pups with Thallo again churned her stomach. She did not want this but she knew what her duties were.

The she wolf pushed aside her disorientation, opening her eyes again but no longer looking to Thallo. "I pray our daughter is found." Bronwyn rested her head between her paws and let their den fall silent. She did not wish to continue this conversation that pained her so much.