literature

Be Politically Correct! (Lion King Song Parody)

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Literature Text

Click here for the music…

[Spoken]

[SCAR]
I never thought we would have a reboot,
But one’s set for The Lion King.
Yet I am troubled greatly by this reshoot,
For at no point will I get to sing.

[Singing]

I know that remakes in live action
Are just made to rake in lots of dough,
So there’s bound to be a reaction
From fans twenty-five years ago.

We each have a different perspective
On Jon Favreau’s film coming soon,
But we all dislike his rejective
Attitude towards my showstopping tune.

So, prepare for a plain evil plot scene.
Be prepared for your children to snooze. *Yawns.*
A progressive viewpoint
Has become the new point.

[SHENZI]
But do we get our bits?

[SCAR]
Just boring and sour bits.
I know this is sordid,
But Favreau’s ignored it
To appeal to SJWs,
For the mention of Trump makes them scared.

[ALL]
Be prepared!

[Spoken]

[BANZAI]
Yeah, be prepared!  Yeh-heh, we’ll be prepared!  For what?

[SCAR]
For perversion of our original story entirely for the sake of political correctness.

[BANZAI]
Why?  Are SJWs now in charge of Disney?

[SCAR]
No, fool, the executives are gonna cut our song from the new Lion King remake.

[SHENZI]
Great idea!  The fact that you look like Hitler when you sing would remind Disney’s SJW target demographic of Donald Trump, whom they compare to Hitler a lot because…

[SCAR]
Idiots!  Trump is NOT a racist!  He’s only condemned non-citizens precisely because they’re non-citizens.  Their skin colors, accents, languages, clothing, food and drink, visual arts, music, and so forth have nothing to do with it!

[BANZAI]
But you said…

[SCAR]
DISNEY is racist!!  You know how I know?  They’ve even recast YOU *indicates Banzai* with a black man!

[BANZAI]
Me!?  But how does cutting the one Latino from a movie and recasting him with a black dude make it “more diverse?”

[SCAR (Sarcastically)]
Why don’t you go ask a Social Justice Warrior?

[SHENZI + BANZAI]
Okay!

[SCAR]
*Sighs* A quarter of a century later, and still…I'm surrounded by idiots!

[Singing]

[HYENAS]
We know Scar is like Hitler often,
But to say he’s like Trump is too much!

[SCAR] (+ Hyenas)
Of course, Donald Trump is no boffin
In public addresses and such.

However, that man is no Nazi,
And I must speak these words with glee *chuckles*,
For SJWs cannot see
That Trump is in no way like me!

So, prepare to hear most of your favorites.
“Be Prepared” is the song we will cut.
Besides my new casting, (We'll have cash!)
Implicit lambasting (Lots of cash!)
Of Donald’s why I’ll (More profit!)
Be blocked by denial (Much of it!)
From leftists that Trump won
Since he had more gumption
To kick SJW butt!
Disney and Jon Favreau never cared.

[ALL]
Be prepared!

Disney and Jon Favreau never cared.
Be prepared!
I heard that Jon Favreau’s remake of The Lion King will unfortunately not feature the best song from the movie.  I wrote this parody as my response to this irrational decision in just two hours.

The Lion King belongs to Disney.

Also, “boffin” is British slang for “expert.”
© 2018 - 2024 Colonel-Knight-Rider
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Adam-Walker's avatar

Be Prepared is in the remake. It's just spoken, rather than sung.